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Disagreeing with your teens outfit choices?

52 replies

sinningsaint · 16/04/2014 19:44

So DD2 (16) has a party on friday and has just revealed the outfit she is planning on wearing along with far too much flesh. It is a dress she picked up in town today and although it's made slightly better by the fact she's teaming it with a pair of printed tights and flats I still couldn't help but grimace Grin. She then went on to rant at me about 'being old enough to get married, move out, have sex etc.' and although I know I can't stop her wearing it now she is older I'm still entitled to an opinion! So just wondering, how old were your DD's when you faced the reality you can't stop them wearing what they want??

OP posts:
squoosh · 16/04/2014 20:45

Yes it may well be hormonal. But she might want to washing her back with a tea tree cleanser and applying La Roche Posay effaclar duo to the effected area.

Maryz · 16/04/2014 20:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

sinningsaint · 16/04/2014 23:00

Will check the La Roche Posay stuff out, thanks Smile.

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Slackgardener · 16/04/2014 23:02

Haven't faced it yet, I will groan when she wears something like that dress - my dmum said to me "none of your sisters would've worn tha"t - they had Tory wife taste - so their view was discarded immediately.

Nocomet · 16/04/2014 23:09

I butted out off DD2's choice of clothes when she was about 9. Bar saying you'll freeze.

DD1(16) I do occasionally have words, fashion isn't really her thing and she doesn't always judge the smarter end of casual very well. (Not helped by a group of girls who seem to own a 100 dresses each).

CrystalSkulls · 16/04/2014 23:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Nocomet · 16/04/2014 23:11

DD1 probably could wear that dress, but she isn't built so as to be in danger of falling out of it.

PeppermintInfusion · 17/04/2014 10:17

With a cardi (which as you say she won't be taking off) I think it will be fine. Flat shoes & tights counteract the shortness too. Sure you're only young once!

I used to have dreadful back acne as a teenager, plenty of air and sunshine in the summer months (just a bit so not actual sunbathing requiring sun screen) and treat your back like your face- use a blemish facial wash, tea tree/other spot cream, moisturiser and regularly use mud mask and exfoliate will do wonders.

EasterSundaySimmons · 17/04/2014 10:47

My daughter is nearly 16, she wears whatever she wants.

When I was a teenager, my father didn't want me to wear high heels, dye my hair or wear short skirts.

I got into all sorts of bother trying to wear these things behind his back and it created upset and tension. I decided not to have all this with my own daughter and she looks nothing like I wish her to look like. I roll my eyes sometimes but we don't have the atmosphere of tension as I did with my father about how I looked.

By accepting her appearance it's made life easier and is one less battle to clash with a teenager, because there are plenty of other things to clash with!

When she was 13/14 she pierced the space between her nose and lip. She did it herself and I asked social services for advice and I was told in no uncertain terms in front Of my daughter that I shouldn't stifle her individuality!

She has let that piercing close up but she has pierced her septum and stretched her ear lobes. It's vile, but by not creating a fuss it's most likely she will eventually let these close up.

She has dreadlocks adorned with trinkets beads and coloured thread. She dresses weird and wonderful and reminds me of a young And colourful Boy George!

She said she was going to shave her eyebrows off. I felt ill at the thought but masked it and offered to do it for her. She declined and the eyebrows are still there a few weeks later.

If you push a teenager they will pull and in the opposite direction.

I've picked my battles and clothing and appearance isn't one!

jasmine1979 · 17/04/2014 10:47

Hi. My son also used to suffer with spots on his back and found that the "tea tree oil back spray" from boots was really good. (and cheap as well!)
www.boots.com/en/Boots-Tea-Tree-Witch-Hazel-Back-Spray-150ml_1349707/

I'm sure she'll be fine in the dress. I don't think it's a great choice for somebody with a larger chest though I have to admit. If she feels confident in it though that's great!
To be honest though with flats and a cardi she'll be fine. I certainly see a lot of young girls wearing way more revealing items than that around here. I think it's one of those things where you have to choose your battles, and this probably isn't one worth worth bothering with.

StepAwayFromTheEcclesCakes · 17/04/2014 16:12

for the back I got my DS's with spots over their back a tea tree oil spray for around £5 off amazon, clears it up in a matter of days. used a bit on an emerging spot I had and next day it was gone. great product. its a blue bottle with silver lid. 30ml

TinklyLittleLaugh · 17/04/2014 16:26

DD1 is 18. and because she has definitely got it, likes to flaunt it. I have always been quite happy to tell her if something is tarty or showing too much flesh. Nowadays her style is short and tight but actually quite classy.

I would not have been happy about that dress OP. I would be trying to talk her out of it.

MrsCampbellBlack · 17/04/2014 18:30

I think the dress is what a 16 year old would choose - instead of a cardi what about a little cropped denim jacket over it - a bit cooler I think (am 41 - what do I know) and will cover her back.

Second a visit to the dr's though with regards to her spots.

bigTillyMint · 17/04/2014 18:37

Yes a cropped denim jacket would look cool with it.

dexter73 · 17/04/2014 18:42

Denim jackets are out and cardis in according to dd when I offered her my denim jacket yesterday and got this look Hmm!

sinningsaint · 17/04/2014 18:43

She had actually rooted out her denim jacket yesterday and was considering wearing it but decided she prefers her big chunky cardi as she can wrap it round her if they walk to a take-away, and apparently it's the cool thing to wear atm Hmm.

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lurkingaround · 17/04/2014 18:45

Denim jacket would be perfect.

I third a visit to GP. She may end up with scars, not nice and not good for self-esteem/confidence/emotional well -being. What have you got to lose.

lurkingaround · 17/04/2014 18:47

Oh x post re jacket sinning.

MrsCampbellBlack · 17/04/2014 19:03

So funny, should know that denim jackets aren't cool if I'm still wearing mine Wink

lurkingaround · 17/04/2014 19:14

Oh I dunno Mrs CB, my 6 year old with a cool eye wants a denim jacket. Bound to be in fashion!Wink (Ignore the fact I trust my 6yo's taste)

bigTillyMint · 17/04/2014 20:08

Oooh, I'll be the height of fashion - I love chunky cardi'sSmile

sinningsaint · 17/04/2014 20:35

Haha don't worry she was wearing the denim jacket today! She has a doctors appointment in a couple of weeks anyway so I'll tell her to bring it up then, oh how I wish she would still let me go to the doctors with her so I can give them a piece of my mind.

OP posts:
GrassIsSinging · 17/04/2014 20:48

There isnt much you can do.

I was wearing hotpants and bra tops to go out at that age. My mum used to say 'oh...arent you going to be, urm....a bit COLD in that?' as her code for 'thats very revealing', bless her...but it fell on deaf ears.

Leggings, flats and a cardi will tone that dress down nicely, anyway. Dont fret!

Nocomet · 18/04/2014 09:03

Dd1(16) wants me to come into the doctors with her, but the doctor told ber it was time she went in by herself.

DD1 was mightily unimpressed. She is far from lacking in confidence and feels it should be totally her choice if she has company. She gets rather irritated by the idea all teens are having sex without telling their parents and that they want to see the dictor alone.

sinningsaint · 18/04/2014 09:08

That's awful nocomet it should be completely her choice if she wants company or not, it's nothing serious but my DD recently got told she needs surgery and if she had been un-voluntarily on her own I would have been unimpressed as for some people that is a time when you really need someone there to support you!

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