How do some women always manage to look so put together and downright gorgeous?

[Beigecurtains]

Is it just 'inbuilt' style that they're born with? If so, I'm incredibly jealous!!

My friend always looks amazing and really stylish but I find it really hard to put my finger on what it is that makes her look special. She's not overly tall, and is slim but not skinny (size 12), and certainly doesn't spend a fortune on beauty treatments/products or clothes, or having her hair done.

Her outfits are usually fairly simple; just jeans with a nice top usually, and she wears accessories such as a necklace or a large scarf. She always wears make up, but again it's fairly simple, nothing garish. And hair in a bun or just down and wavy.

So on paper she doesn't dress particularly differently to probably 90% of other women, but she always manages to stand out.

How do some women do this? I'd love to know the secret so I can stop looking like a bag lady

SnowBells - yes I agree with you, get more compliments when slimmer and with a light tan!

I'm 100% sure it's the being slimmer thing.

I got STOPPED by freakin' fashionable people in Italy who asked about my clothes. Got loads of compliments. Always freaked DH out. Clothes were fairly simple, but I always had a statement accessory (scarf, sunglasses, etc.).

No chance of that now, unless I get back to my old weight...

Agree, I'm always complimented more on how I look when I'm slimmer. I guess that's because my clothes 'sit' better, but also perhaps that I am more confident?

The jumped I agree that 'too much going on' can look too try hard.

I tend to avoid looking too colour coordinated as I feel it is dated. A woman I used to work with matched her outfit, shoes and bag nearly every day. She rarely looked stylish.

I find prints can be hit or miss too.

The women I admire keep it classic, clean and simple. I spotted a woman recently wearing fitted jeans, a silk/see through blouse, satchel bag, ballerina shoes, hair up and stud earrings. Simple but very effective.

Jigsaw do amazing scarfs at the mo.

Jewel coloured wool-silk ones, quite big. Not cheap (£59).

I bought one last year and another colour this winter.

Skinny jeans, ballet flats or ankle boots , any old top and That Jigsaw scarf ALWAYS get me compliments, always. And it is the scarf. mobile.jigsaw-online.com/products/pom-pom-scarf-7889

It is magic :)

Unless you are really adept with scarves they can send you totally the other way though. I went shopping in a fairly upmarket town yesterday and looked at all the women I passed, lots of scarves but not a single person who wouldn't have looked better without them, they all looked too busy, cluttered with hair, coat collars etc. If you can't get it exactly right they are better left off.

If you wear scarves you have to keep the rest of your outfit simple. Just look at www.maitaispicturebook.com. Classy.

Great thread.
I think I've got clothes, makeup and skin sorted but what lets me down is my hair.
Has gone really grey since having the DC and I've been trying to cling onto my natural colour by using a semi perm dye every 3 weeks. My hair is dark brown and grey comes through after a couple of weeks.
I know this is not looking good. I need to get some lowlights and a proper colour at the hairdresser. But I don't even know what to ask for and I don't want a dramatic change. Help!

FWIW, my tips for clothes and make up:

For work - dresses only. Less time consuming than separates. I have a variety of fitted black dresses, jackets and jewel coloured cardigans. Always heels but not too high. Dresses are from Cos, banana republic, Sisley, Hobbs, Lk Bennett. I work in the city but part time.
I always wear a watch, wedding rings, diamond studs and simple necklace like a Tiffany one or similar.

For non work days - skinnies, ballet flats and a nice top - I love the White company, massimo dutti - I always buy in sales. Or jumper dress.

Make up: BB cream, cream blush with powder blush on top, Benefit lemon aid, lip balm. I can't leave the house without that benefit product!

You may find that taking it a shade lighter, with highlights and lowlights, the roots are not so noticeable, mammamia.

In any case, go to the best hairdresser you can afford (at least the first time - you can use a more junior one at the same salon once they have your details in their records) and ask for their recommendations.

Yes, I agree with Snowbells that MaiTai does the scarf thing very well indeed!

This is pretty close to the way I usually dress. One neutral, one bright colour, plus a patterned scarf with mainly another neutral (navy) and hints of the bright colour to pull it all together.

MaiTai does her scarves beautifully, but they also work really well for her (very classic 'look' about her). I look like a pre-op transexual if I try to do similar. I need much bigger, more textured scarves, and if I do print it has to be way bigger scale (although I am not a massive print fan generally).

I think working out what suits you and having the confidence to run with it all the time instead of being convinced by your mother/best friend that actually you should be doing something different is key. I have a friend who always looks really put together and stylish, but her style is far more classic and country than mine, and I would look awful if I copied her clothes.

Agree with the slim thing though, sadly. I know full well I look better at the lighter end of my normal range than at the heavier. No getting around it for me. I do think some people carry a bit of weight more effectively than others - my sister is a classic hourglass and actually she continues to look like a glamorous extra from Mad Men even if she gains a few pounds (as it all goes on in a perfect hourglass shape), whereas on my more angular body it looks horrendous, as it all sits on my thighs.

Oh, I'm the opposite - I tend to wear plain or textured scarves, rather than the patterns Mai-Tai wears. I rarely wear silk squares like she does, either, but the overall look is similar.

I don't know about weight, but exercising and looking toned is a big factor for me in looking (and feeling) good!

I'm trying to make best of what I've got on the income I have; expensive teens etc! I have very pale skin and mid blue eyes and I used to be white blonde. As child then went mid pale red naturally in teens . I am now grey / mouse! I pay to have a really good cut. My roots show v quickly. I really cannot justify a salon colour as it wd be just too expensive. I have bought copper reds from Sally's prof shop which supplies hairdressers and as my hair is so thick it takes two lots per time so that is 18 per month and my cut is 30. It doesn't sound a lot but if I pay more i really can't buy clothes. We are not hard up but we are trying to be sensible after years on overdraft. So I buy good undies, take cares kin, have good cut . I'm worried that at a young looking 50 ; folk say I look early 40 I look too artificial with copper one tone hair and I don't want to look mad! I look a bit like the curvy lady off mad men : but not as good looking and older but that sort of strong look if you see what I mean .i have hourglass figure and am a spring . I once had an ash blond dye ash and I looked completely washed out so I know I don't need pale and need but of vibrancy or at least colour contrast but wd like to look grown up but red ish! Not like a henna student look. Can this be done at home and what dye wd be best , I just need to make bat I can ;) !

Also what to wear on feet with skinniest and ballet??bare feet but chilly? :)

Good posture makes women look very elegant even if they're dressed the same as is slouchers.

It can be little things too, long sleeves pushed up to just above the wrist but not right up to the elbow for example.

When I was little my mum had an old book from the 50s or 60s called "In Search of Charm", it was full of all these little tips, how to stand, how to walk, how to hold your gloves, how to get our of a car without showing your knickers, absolutely fascinating. It was also full of sexist shite about "accidentally" dropping a napkin on the floor in a restaurant so a man has to dive to your rescue and feel all masterful. I wish I'd kept it.

I don't think DH would feel terribly masterful. He would just laugh at my clumsiness . But yes, it is lots of little things I think.

the thing is, "wearing jeans and a nice top" can look very stylish OR very frumpy - depending on your ability to pick clothes that actually suit you and your body type, in terms of tailoring and colour.

Definitely - I have learned I am much better in, say, leather leggings, slipper flats and layered long plain t-shirts than skinny jeans, ballet pumps and a longline breton. Similar kind of silhouette, totally different 'look'.

yes, that's one thing my DH doesn't get, because he's tall and skinny and everything looks good on him - it's not enough for a piece of clothing to be "nice", in itself. It also needs to work for me and my body.

The rule is actually quite simple: if you have curves, go for a tailored, structured look. Think Mad Men. Incidentally, that's also what a lot of successful women go for. Definitely do not go for Boho chic. That look only works on very slim women. No frills - or anything else that 'expands' you.

When you are slim, you can get away with a lot of things. It's more about posture, etc. But you also have to be wary of 'drowning yourself' in fabric (which I have seen some women do).

How do you work the mad men look into a casual wardrobe? Tailored sounds great if you work in a formal environment but it would leave me looking ridiculously over dressed - which isn't exactly well put together either!

Nnowdon I have that look or at least a nod to it. I wear a lot of shirt or vintage dresses with flats and hair in a semi beehive . It's just pop it on doesn't have to feel formal . I'm trying to wear skin ie jeans for a change but it feels odd. Look at some of the sixties boden dresses on e bay then just tights ..enjoy! P

I get told this (even when I'm in my shitty work uniform which is the ugliest uniform in the world) I don't think I am attractive, I'd give myself 3 out of ten for looks and I am not skinny, I am slim, a size ten. I have improved over the years though. I just always make sure I look clean and tidy so day to day make up is always;

One layer of foundation
concealer for under bag eyes and the shadows on nose
two layers of mascara
some high beam dotted on cheeks
blusher
rosy lip balm

i then tie my hair back with a side fringe and just manage to look presented all the time.

Usual wardrobe is usually like your friend, skinny jeans, a nice top with natural make up and or dresses/leggings with dr martens and tights. I am quite keen on fashion but know what suits my figure. I think for me it was getting older that made me realise what suited me now I can put an outfit together within seconds and look put together. :) Shame I can't get surgery for the face!