Hairstyle ignoramus - what do I do with my hair and what sort of styling do you expect from a hairdresser?

[NCedToProtectTheIgnorant]

(Might have made more sense if I'd written hairstyle 'virgin' but loathe the word after seeing too much facebook overuse )

Pitiful as it is I've had roughly the same hairstyle (or rather lack of) since encountering motherhood over a decade ago and have finally got so fed up of it that I'm forcing myself to the hairdressers to get something (anything!) done with it. My hair has been parted in the middle forever, I haven't had a fringe since I was a teen and I've had the odd occasion of having layers cut in it and dying it at home but it's basically just been longish, straight and flat (a hairdresser once described it as "thicker than it looks" but god knows what help that is, it doesn't hold any volume or curls at all, it just goes flat).

Problem is I haven't got a clue what I need to do with it for it to look halfways respectable, especially as I haven't got more than 10 mins a day to spend on it and I'm terminally cack handed so even intermediate styling is out .

I was thinking of having it permed, but in loose waves rather than 80's spirals, but that probably takes lots of careful looking after? I'm also thinking if I at least get it into a side parting (although which side is also beyond me) and have some sort of fringe (to take the emphasis away from my frown lines) it'll look decent enough but when I try and do a side parting it ends up looking odd and really thin on one side, and I'm never sure whether I've chosen the right side to have the parting on iyswim.

Do hairdressers expect to be asked to move your parting for you, can I leave it up to them, or do they expect you to be grown up enough to be able to at least get your head round that by yourself? And any suggestions for the best thing to do with pointless lanky hair?

If it helps I have virtually the same hair 'style' as Amy from Big Bang Theory and it kind of works for her but she doesn't have to do school runs in high winds and rain - I look like I've crawled out of a cave.

...and even she has a side parting!

No-one? Hair crisis here!

A tiara?

What about something choppy with a fringe like this

Can you ring a salon and just ask for a pre cut consultation, talk through the way your hair behaves in its natural state, what you like about it and what you hate about it. Be realistic about how much time and effort you want to spend styling your hair.

I'd been growing my hair and the weight of it seemed to have shifted my parting, which I didn't like, so I got my stylist move the parting back where I wanted it and cut it so the balance of the weight was changed.

Before you go you could scrape all your hair back from your face and decide what shape it is, then look online for styles that should flatter it.

You might see some boards on pinterest which would give you ideas.
The more clues you give your stylist the more they can work out what you're going to be happy with as well as what's achievable.
I have no experience of perms, so sorry can't be of any help.

Lol - WildThong, if I thought I could get away with a tiara on the school run I absolutely would That pic looks nice (no-one would be able to tell when I'd left it windswept), could probably manage that.

Thanks enrique, haven't booked an appt yet at the hairdressers so will ask about a consultation - the hairdresser didn't huff at you that you didn't move your own parting before going? Strangely (considering how much time I spend on there) I didn't think of looking for styles on Pinterest, will have a nosy - I can feel a new board coming on already. Would definitely help to go with an idea of what I do want rather than just asking for anything new.

No NC, I've been going to the same salon for ages and don't always stick to the same hairdresser. They're really friendly and not at all full of themselves. She moved my parting a bit and said 'is that enough?' but I said no, could she move it a little bit further over and she did, no problem.

I think you need to get yourself in the frame of mind where you're using their expertise and not being intimidated by what they think. After all, you're the one who's going to be walking around with the finished product.

There really are loads of hairstyle boards on pinterest, you may be gone some time

OP, do you have a photo you could post? It's really difficult giving hair advice to someone when you don't know what they look like in terms of face shape etc. From how you're describing your hair I think it might be a bit like mine in terms of texture - the individual hairs are fine, but there's quite a lot of it, very straight and doesn't hold any volume or curl etc?

No, it definitely doesn't help that I am intimidated by hairdressers, especially as I only go when my hair looks a state and feel they're judging me... plus we moved since my last haircut so I have to brave a new one and the whole enforced chatting. But I'll try and get myself in the right frame of mind. Had a good look on Pinterest and found loads of ideas - very keen at the moment on a side parting and either a full fringe but not too thick, more wispy if that makes sense, or a massive side fringe thingy.

I don't have a picture of myself at the moment but mine does sound very similar to yours, each hair is very thin and flyaway but there are a lot of them and I once had it curled for my sister's wedding and it took 3 hours to do and 90 minutes to fall out almost completely. I have tried to work out my face shape in the mirror and think it's heart shaped if that helps and I definitely don't suit a middle parting and flat hair, I do look very much like Amy from The Big Bang Theory at the moment, only my hair is longer and lankier, if that helps.

If you have fine but thick hair that style pictured upthread will be a nightmare - I have similar hair and honestly you'll find it never looks good unless you spend forever styling it because our type of hair doesn't do all that flicky stuff! Just some shaping around the face into a long side fringe will help inject some style for you, and I'd add some long layers too to give it a bit more interest. Alternatively a layered long bob works well, although I personally find long hair easier (a bob took a surprising amount of styling when I had one).

The best thing to do is probably to book a consultation with a stylist. Be clear with them about how your hair is, how often you need to wash it and how much styling (or not) you're prepared to do and if you aren't happy with their suggestions keep trying different stylists until you're happy!

Yes, your hair sounds a lot like mine. Definitely switch to a side part - very few people look good with a centre parting really. I used to have my hair in a side parting with a side fringe and layered, which was fine. It never looked how I wanted it to look, ie all bouncy and voluminous, but it did look ok, just a bit flat, regardless of how many layers I had. I actually went short 2 or 3 years ago and think my hair probably works far better like that, but I get bored so I'm growing it again at the moment - it is currently in a bob a little past my chin. But if you're feeling brave and have the right face shape then pixies definitely work really well with that kind of texture.

I googled for images to see what she (Mayim who plays Amy) does with her own hair when she's not being Amy. The answer's not an awful lot. Sometimes she moves her parting over and sometimes she has a soft curl.

www.google.co.uk/search?q=mayim+bialik&client=firefox-a&hs=B5Q&rls=org.mozilla:en-US:official&channel=sb&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ei=flYDU5SJIOmT0AXyr4CQCg&sqi=2&ved=0CAcQ_AUoAQ&biw=1093&bih=419

OP have a really good look at your face, especially your chin, the shape and the depth of it
Have a look at this
beauty.about.com/od/bestcutsbyfaceshap1/ss/Are-You-Round-Square-Long-Heart-Or-Oval.htm

How about the Charlie's Angel style here
www.latest-hairstyles.com/short/thin-hair.html
Perhaps the stylist could show you a product to use to keep in the soft wave? but be realistic about actually styling it and using products.

If you can't get a personal recommendation for a stylist, find some local salon names and then Google + reviews, see if there's any online feedback about them. When you go for a consultation or appointment don't expect to know everything, ask what they'd do but be clear about what you like and don't like so you're not pushed into anything.

Hope all that helps.
I want to know now how it goes.

I used to have long straight hair with middle parting. Can't remember how it happened but said I wanted side parting and long cut in fringe to the side and they did that. It naturally stays in that parting now.

Your hair sounds like mine, fine but a lot of it. In that case AVOID long layers (or only a few) and decide what length you want it at. Also how much work do you want to do with it?

I think your hair sounds lovely and maybe just in need of a good cut to shape it a little. My hair is also much thicker than it looks however I'd love it if it just went straight of its own accord

oh OP - I'd maybe research/google/ask friends for a GOOD hairdresser.

You know the sort who is excellent and not a lazy one (I've had one) who just snips and it's just MEH.

And when in the salon (I've done this twice now) ASK for tips. I've asked for tips re drying, styling, shampoo (was a bit shy before) and got LOADS of advice from hairdresser. She also tells me what she can't be fussed to do (eg it'll be hard for me to do then most likely) eg curl hair with GHDs etc. I think they like it if you ask them for tips actually, flattering. wish I'd known this before but also choose the right stylist for this!

oh finally - especially with long bob. I recently used my BBH (Babyliss Big Hair) to curl under/tidy ends of my just below shoulders bob. takes about 5 mins (after blasting with hairdryer) to do this and looks more polished.

also look in stuff to give volume (Aussome Volume mousse is nice) also spray wax good for hold I've got Redken.

And don't forget colour, colour can do amazing things to add depth, volume etc. if I left my ash/dirty blonde hair in natural colour it'd look limp as a dishrag.