guest wedding dress - please help me with this brief

[shelley72]

I'm trying to help find dresses or outfits for a summer wedding. But the grooms mother is very er picky. It has to be a dress, short / no sleeves to wear possibly with a bolero / cardigan / jacket. Has turned down the opportunity to go shopping to big department store with a personal shopper for fear they would pick something they don't like. Would like her to look and feel amazing on the day as they have been poorly and never takes the time for themself.

Where would be a good place to start?

I'd suggest accompanying her to House of Fraser on the basis that you're going to browse together and try on but she's NOT BUYING ANYTHING. You'll take photos of the ones she likes to review later and will go back a second time to look at the short-list. If possible a personal shopper will help narrow down what she's looking for but you'll need to explain when you arrive that you won't be buying today! Discuss colours, accessories etc beforehand, maybe looking at some magazines for ideas before you go.

That sounds like a great idea, to take photos and then review them. At the moment I'm sending links if I come across anything online. She is a size 20/22 and as such I think feels a bit limited as to where she can go - would HoF be suitable? She hasn't had colours done and so have no idea as to what colours would be best or styles for shape (quite tall but a tummy so nothing clingy there allowed). Has fab legs but doesn't like to show them.

We have a few months, which is probably just as well

I can't see any mention of plus sizes at HOF, I'd have thought they would do them, perhaps a quick phone call to check? Otherwise there's a thread on here discussing good brands (sorry don't now how to link on iPad) - "clothes for the larger lady".

I'd have thought it would be better to visit a shop - monsoon/m&s etc as she can spend time trying on all sorts to narrow down what she likes. How old is she? How tall? What colouring?

A sleeveless knee-length dress with bolero, heels and matching accessories would be lovely - would she wear a hat? One of those shift-style dresses with draped fabric across the tummy is good for hiding bulges and the bolero will draw attention towards the shoulders.

Perhaps also look at shapewear to give a smooth outline under the dress. And last but not least some statement jewellry to complete the look! Can you tell I love getting dressed up?

Monsoon good for that size - or a specialist plus size shop may carry smart things. When I was that size my choice was limited

So I see that John Lewis and House of Fraser do plus sizes online, so you can look on there and then go to a store to try? Chesca have some pretty dresses on both stores' websites.

Thank you for your ideas, will also take a look at monsoon. She is (a young) 65, about 5'7. Colouring its hard to say - has caramel highlighted hair (used to be naturally dark brown), but skin wise does look a bit poorly. Never wears make up but could be persuaded to have a little bit for the day. I don't know how to analyse colours so I wouldn't like to say which season she would fall into.

I found a black and white shift dress, with a little black bolero which I thought would look nice with coloured accessories - hat, bag, shoes. I would choose red but that's me. She wasn't keen as a shift dress would emphasize the tummy. Is that the case? Are there any guides to dress shapes for body shapes - though I realise that's problematic to diagnose in itself.

Not quite sure why I've been asked to assist, I look a mess at the best of times, but always like a pootle around the shops .

Draping across the tummy and hips helps to disguise a bigger tummy, like this www.johnlewis.com/phase-eight-sequined-print-dress-charcoal/p1131798

Phase Eight have some lovely dresses up to a size 20, they're always well made and very elegant. This one (above) would be lovely with bright blue accessories.

In terms of make-up, why not visit a make-up counter while you're out and ask them to do a quick make-over so she can see what she could do herself - they're usually very happy to do this. I'm a big fan of a little fake tan on the face - it's amazing how much healthier you can look with just a hint of a tan.

Jacques Vert if they run to that size. Some of it is very mother of the bride but other bits are just nice and smart and well-made.

I'm size 20/22, and the dress part of my wardrobe is mostly from Monsoon, but the dress I wore for my mother's funeral (which I've also worn for nights out, as it's black with sequins, but they had colours other than black,) was from - somewhere different. I remember I got it from Oxford Street when I had to go up to London for work a week before the funeral, but I don't remember the shop name now. So that's helpful... Sorry.

A well-cut shift dress would be fine, I think, as it can smooth out some of the lumps and bumps. That's what I tell myself when I wear one at work, anyway... But she will need to try things on in any case - a particular style may well be worth considering, but the cut, colour and material of an individual dress in that style might mean that version of the style is not going to work.

We have been looking at Jacques Vert - mother of groom is exactly what we're after I think. My dress bought in a post natal haze so doubt it fits is from phase eight, but again she wouldn't enter the shop because 'it's for skinny people' (clearly not if I bought something there).

I think a day traipsing a couple of big dept stores, just trying stuff on and having a go without having to panic buy is needed. It's just the trying on of something different which is scary I think.