Bat mitzvah, what does one wear??

[toastandmarmiterocks]

We are invited to the religious ceremony in the synagogue and the evening party do. I'm assuming shoulders & knees covered, do I need to wear something on my head?

So I think I need two separate outfits, where do I even start

I'm 38, 3 children (oh crap, I'll need to dress them too), 5'3" size 8-10, like to think I have a vague idea about fashion but in reality I am a pretty safe dresser who lives in skinnie & ankle boots...

orthodox or reform?

Totally depends on the synagogue and how religious the family are.

If it's an orthodox synagogue, but the family are not particularly strict, a knee-length dress or skirt is fine, upper arms covered and no cleavage showing. It's usual for married women to wear a hat. Similar clothing for your daughters, without the hat. For the evening do, wear something similar to what you would wear to a wedding. It is likely to be very dressy, so dress up as much as possible. Men and women sit separately in the synagogue, but will probably be mixed at the reception.

If the family are very religious (strictly orthodox - keep the sabbath, strictly kosher etc), the same dress code will apply in the evening as in the synagogue (knees and elbows covered, neckline covering the collarbone) and it probably won't be quite as dressy and showy. Men and women are separate all the time and will eat and dance in different rooms!

If it's a Reform or Liberal synagogue, it will be dressy like the first one I described, but not as strict, so smart trousers would be acceptable, or a sleeveless dress. Hats optional. Men and women mixed throughout the whole day.

I'm sure if there are particular requirements your friend will be able to advise what is expected in their synagogue. I would tend towards dressy, as that will demonstrate your respect for the importance of the occasion. I suspect you can't go far wrong with a modest outfit that you might wear to a christening or wedding.

Thank you so much everyone, really useful information. I have googled the synagogue and its reform so makes things a little easier. I'm off to scour the web for outfits now.

A Bat Mitzvah? A Robin outfit? (Sorry couldn't resist!)

For the synagogue, even thought it is reform, shoulders and knees covered, no trousers and a hat.
For the evening, whatever evening wear you want!