Clothes shopping made me cry today

[doglover]

I've been slowly putting on weight for the last 9 months but haven't been clothes shopping in this period. My mum and I went shopping yesterday and it was an embarrassing, sobering experience. I'm now a size 22 and could find nothing that fitted and looked half decent.

I'm not looking for sympathy but, rather, just wanted to ........ bleurgh ....! I will be losing weight after Xmas but just felt utterly huge and horrid. I just wanted to find a nice tunic top that could be worn with jeans for the Xmas period but came home and sobbed because I'm too fat for standard shops.

Thanks for reading.

don't feel sad. You've decided what your going to do so make the most of things for now.
Try new look inspire for a nice dress/tunic. might get a collect from store.
I'm a size 18/20 & although I'm losing weight I used to be a 26 so still feel quite slim! Make the most of things, feel confident and enjoy Christmas! x

TBVH at size 20/22 you are too big for jeans anyway. I know, I've been there.
Time for tough talking. Don't wait til after Christmas, start cutting back this evening, and allow yourself time off for Christmas Day.

Hug for you. Be kind to yourself, you're so much more than a weight on a scale or a reflection in a mirror. Boden have some pretty tops in the sale in your size.

I agree. Dont wait till after Christmas. Do something proactive today. You'll feel empowered instead of feeling helpless waiting for Christmas to be over.

I had a similar sobering experience a few years ago. It kick started me into walking and eventually jogging. Jogging changed everything - permanently. I'll keep it up until I'm geriatric.

Horrible as today was, it's a good thing.

I've just checked back and read your comments. Many thanks for your replies ............... I just needed to vent and didn't really expect to hear anything back!

I ordered a couple of Boden tops last night and they're already winging their way to me!

Start now Doglover don't put it off if it's making you sad. And keep yourself looking well groomed in the meantime and it will make you feel better x

Oh, please don't feel so sad.
Weight has a habit of creeping up, it's fixable with time & a bit of determination. The shops are rubbish at present anyway, no matter what size you are. It's better looking online & you can try them on properly without running the gauntlet of those depressing changing rooms.

Yes, I would agree with starting straight away. You need to change your lifestyle, not go on a 'diet'. This is for life so start it now. It must have been very upsetting, but most weight loss journeys start with an 'oh shit' moment and this has been yours.

Is there any medical reason you've put on weight or has it just been months/years of eating too much of the wrong things? Either way I'd recommend a visit to the practice nurse to get weighed and measured and have a chat.

Then have a think about your personality- would a group like slimming world work for you, or would you prefer to do it yourself? Cut back on portion sizes, cut down on junk and eat real, unprocessed food. My fitness pal is a fab free app you can use to track your food intake. It will work out your calorie requirements and you can track your measurements in it. I'd suggest setting it to just lose 0.5-1lb a week to start- big losses are motivating but restricting your intake massively can feel like deprivation so you are more likely to fall off the wagon. Allow yourself some of what you fancy- chocolate or crisps every now and then are fine as long as it's small portions and you count them in your intake.

Start some gentle exercise- a brisk walk so you get slightly out of breath is good. Then work towards running (try couch to 5k), or some exercise DVDs are good if you can't face/afford the gym.

Good luck, you can do it!

I'm feeling all tearful after reading all your kind words! Thanks so much if you've replied and offered such super advice.

You're absolutely right about not waiting until after Xmas. I could VERY easily just pig-out over the festive period, compounding the problem. If I can keep tabs on my intake for the next couple of weeks - not overindulging - I will feel better and more in control.

It's horrible isn't it? Shopping when you feel bad about yourself.

You sound like you could have had the push you needed. Enjoy Christmas, make a big effort with grooming, nails, make up, hair, try and get some exercise in and don't scoff too much, then make 2014 the year you get sorted.

You are worth the effort.

Hugs Doglover
I nearly had a moment like yours today (am between a 16 and 18 but have a fat back, no waist and an apron stomach.) Normally I avoid changing rooms like the plague, and now I remember why.
Good luck with Project Shrink. I really need to get my act together and do it myself

Yes, you are definitely worth the effort.

Do check out the weightloss boards on here, amazing free support! MNers are a wonderful bunch. There's lots of different things you can try- simple calorie counting, low carb, 5:2, WW or SW. They are all different ways of getting to the same goal- a healthier you. I'm on the 5:2 thread, it is funny and so supportive. We support each other through all sorts of things, as our emotions can play such a part in our diet.

There are also threads for exercise- couch to 5k, the shred etc. Again, good support and the online friends you'll make will carry you through the tough times (and making big changes to your lifestyle is tough).

Make a start and already you will feel more positive. Bath, hair wash, scrub, shave and moisturise tonight. Get up tomorrow, healthy breakfast and put some lipstick on!

Hi doglover

Sorry you're feeling sad. 12 years ago I was a size 26/28 and had a moment one Sunday in town where I was so upset as I could find nothing to fit me. I decided there and then to lose some weight. 18 months later I was 9.5 stone and a size 10. Now I'm nearer a 12 (haven't weighed myself for years) but have kept 90% of that weight off. I do 5:2 now which keeps my weight in check.

Find some exercise you like (I started by cycling, then walked briskly and finally graduated to running) and eat 3 sensible meals a day with a couple of snacks. But remember the odd treat (food and non food!). You can do it!

But be kind to yourself, you deserve to be happy! Good luck

Waves at Earslaps.

Come and joins us over on the 5:2 board. Pop in and see us.

It's easy, adaptable, you don't need any special food, no cutting out of food groups (biscuits are not a food group though ).

I had gestational diabetes with both pregnancies and put on over 6 stone.

My youngest is now 2.5 months old and I'm 6lbs away from my old weight. I could have gotten there much sooner but some marital issues and the biscuit tin got in my way....

I've tried lots of different diets and I will list below. Have a read and a think.

Weightwatchers - lost very little on this one. Not effective for me. It's too easy to use your points up on biscuits.

Jason Vale Juice diet - only the first 7 days are juice only after that its a balanced diet. It's hard core and quite effective. Couldn't keep it up.

Dukan Diet - hugely effective. Lost over 3 stone with this one. It's quite motivating because you lose fast at first. You really see a difference. How ever its extremely restrictive. I did it for several months but felt very grumpy and deprived.

Low Carb - it was easy to follow and its not actually that hard to cut down on carbs and sugar. Only the first week after the sugar cravings subside, its easy.
I didn't lose that much even though I did it for 6 months. But it taught me some very very important things about sugar and white carb and how eating them produces immense cravings for more. It's def worth a shot as again you don't need to buy books or anything. Just look at BIWIs bootcamp here on MN

5:2. Very effective. So easy and totally flexible. It's something I could sustain for ever. It's taken me to the final hurdle of the last 26lbs to goal weight and I have have just 6lbs to go. I started in August. Come and see us and we will entertain and support you along the way. Our threads are huge and move fast not because we are diet bores but we chat about our lives and support each other and help each other. It helps reset your appetite and think about mindful eating and healthier choices too. 5:2 has helped my blood pressure go from 145/96 to 118/75
And my resting heart rate from 80 beats p minute to 58 beats per minute.

Don't despair. You can do this. And don't wait until the new year start tomorrow!

It is possible to be fat, healthy and love yourself. Be kind to yourself first and foremost. If you want to lose weight, it's your decision, but loving yourself and your body no matter your size is so much better than stressing over your size. Misogyny and fatphobia is why shops don't stock bigger sizes, not your fault at all. And 'too big for jeans' is nonsense. Fuck flattering, wear what you like and enjoy it.

I agree that "too big for jeans" is crap!
I'm a fellow unhappy size 22. I find charity shops an unlikely source of decent clothes for people of my size - honestly. And I'm quite picky!
Having said that, I can't in any way pretend I'm happy at this size. I want to be a 16 again.
There's an offer of a diet buddy for the new year if you're interested!?

I remember that feeling. I have lost 3 and a bit stone since end of june and have gone down from size 20 to 14. Im not going to pretend its been easy its been really difficult but it has been the best thing ive done. I feel much better in my self and love fitting into nice clothes again. I feel like 'me' again.

Huge good luck x
You can do it. I did. Small steps, and short term goals are the secret. Decide what you're going to do/eat each day before you get up and stick to it. If you pig out one day, make up for it the next.
You could easily lose half a stone by 25th. Think how good that would make you feel

Very good luck with whatever weight loss plan you decide to adopt.

Meanwhile enjoy your Boden tops . And meanwhile, saying those of us who are Size 22 are 'too big ' jeans is just the most arrant nonsense ever!!!

I'm a 22 and may at some future point decide to lose some weight because the health arguments are strong.

But meanwhile I refuse to accept I can't feel confident and look good. In particular, I have long slim legs and lots of great ( admittedly not cheap) NYDJ skinny jeans. I wear them with a variety of tops,some Boden, great boots and shoes ( Russell and Bromley, Duo,L K Bennett), have a great haircut from a top London salon - and get lots of comfeel I deserve the best - and I feel and know from comments, that I look good.

Losing weight is unarguably good for your health but just don't accept you c

Sorry, a bit too overconfident there! Wretched phone sent my rant too soon .

Ignore everything from 'salon' on. Was just going to say being 22 doesn't stop me wearing jeans, loving fashion, feeling good, and getting compliments. So you don't have to wait until you lose weight to be 'acceptable' and deserve the best!

Please don't tell fat people that it's OK to be fat, and that they look good in size 22 jeans. I was that person, and all the time people told me you can be happy and health and fat, I stayed fat.

If you are fat, you are NOT happy, not deep down, and you are NOT healthy. I needed a pep talk, and it worked for me.

OP - I wish you all the luck in the world, but it's not luck you need. Losing weight is sheer hard work - you need determination and will power in spadefulls. But you CAN do it. I did. Take one d
ay at a time, and start now. There is plenty of support available, not least on this forum. My fitness pal is great, but you do need to be honest with yourself about what you eat.

Start the diet now (if you haven't already). There is no better time to start.

Never said being fat is OK health wise but,sorry, I and others do think I look good in jeans (and dresses).

As you clearly have major issues with this, middleaged, which lead you to think no one like me can actually look good, it's just as well you don't have to see me in RL and suffer what , to you , is such an appalling sight!!!

PS Also think it's actually for me, not you, to decide if I'm happy. Just because you weren't happy in a particular situation doesn't give you the right to decide no one else is 'deep down'!!

Middleagedmotheroftwo - the OP has said she will start to lose weight/get fit very soon. Neither she, nor any other 'fat' person needs a 'pep' talk or to be told that they must be unhappy. Please do not project your insecurities onto other people - and yes, some people to do look good in jeans at a size 22 or whatever because it's about so much more than size ie body shape and even confidence and the way they hold project themselves - or maybe they don't just care enough to worry about other random people's skewed opinions