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Original poster

Ideas for a wedding outfit for DD who doesn't do girlie clothes..

38 replies

hattyyellow · 08/12/2013 12:23

Help much appreciated.

We've been invited to a wedding in late April next year. DD, 8, spends most of her life on her bike or scooter or climbing trees, so is generally dressed in tracksuit trousers and a hoodie. Which is absolutely fine with me.

But we've been invited to a wedding next year and I'd love her to look a little smarter! My youngest DD is already desperate to go and look for a new party dress, but older DD is desperate not to be put in something girlie.

I'm trying to think of what she could therefore wear. Haven't been to a wedding for years as most of our friends got married years ago. What do teenage and adult guests wear who don't wear girlie things?

I'd like a tiny nod towards femininity for her outfit as she has shortish hair so otherwise I will spend the day explaining that she isn't a boy and she gets a little sensitive when people think she is a boy, although I can't really blame them!

The family inviting us live quite rurally so an outfit needs to be fairly practical. They've also spent a lot of time working and travelling in Africa and India, so I did think maybe along the lines of tunic/trousers type thing? Not sure where to start with looking for this!

Any help gratefully received. MIL wants her to wear a dress as to her that's what little girls wear for weddings, full stop. So I'm trying to find a compromise!

OP posts:
Whentheredredrobingoesbobbobbo · 08/12/2013 12:54

What would your dd pick if you let her?

BeGoodElliot · 08/12/2013 12:58

Skinny jean and tunic top?

yellowsnownoteatwillyou · 08/12/2013 13:10

I was an 8 year old non girly girl at a wedding. I was forced into a dress with the rule I could change after dinner, into denim shorts and a t shirt. But that was 20 years a go and there is lots of clothes out there now, but still hard.
Tunic top and trousers/skinny jeans/ jeggings/ leggings would be good.

I'm going to have a look

MrsLettuce · 08/12/2013 13:12

I'm interested to know what she'd choose herself as well.

How about a jumpsuit?

Whentheredredrobingoesbobbobbo · 08/12/2013 13:15

Have you tried monsoon

here

Elephant tee

Could perhaps be worn with funky tights and shorts?

yellowsnownoteatwillyou · 08/12/2013 13:17

Maybe a weird idea but if you had her in skinnies or leggings, would she wear a blazer? h&m have a nice one, I'm sure you can take the flower off.

That way she would look wedding smart, them could take it off and just be in jeans and a top.

DontmindifIdo · 08/12/2013 13:20

Would she wear a non-girly dress? Something not so frilly and pink as a party dress, but still a dress? something like this or this

I don't think jeans are ever appropriate for a wedding, skinny with a tunic top isn't a good plan.

As for grown woman who don't do girlie, it's either a trouser suit or a non-girly dress (but normally it's a trouser suit, to get one that's clearly for a girl will cost you a lot, much cheaper to teach her about certain expectations for dress at certain functions, but within that she doesn't have to do pink sparkles or frilly)

ChubbyKitty · 08/12/2013 13:39

My not as girlie as everything else I own but still fancy enough outfit is a long red crocheted jumper(it's nicer than it sounds!Wink) and black leggings with some nice black boots.

I am very girlie but sometimes even I have to tone it down on occasion. It gets wearing. The jumper is sparkly though.

I remember George one year had some lovely jumper dresses for girls. This was back in the day when I could fit in older children's clothes and I got a couple and they were very nice.

My thinking is that with a jumper dress everyone will think 'oh she looks lovely in her dress' but she can still feel like she's not wearing a dress, iyswim?

ShoeSmacking · 08/12/2013 13:48

I don't feel comfortable with forcing girls into dresses. However, I do think children need to learn that our society does require different types of clothing for different events. It's sleds on that will help her as she grows up and moves around.

The good thing about loving in 2013 though is that she does not have to wear a dress to be appropriate. Colours and fabrics can change a casual outfit into something much smarter. I think tunic and trousers is an Just slept 8 hours without waking up once! Blimey. Sorry, hope that doesn't upset you! It's good to be rested though as in am painting this morning. Hope you guys had a good night! Xxxexcellent idea. It's a wedding so it needs to be appropriate colours too but she doesn't have to wear flowers or butterflies.I would second the monsoon suggestion. Or find her a pair of nice soft linen trousers with a nice t shirt and/or cardigan. Online might be a good option too. If she likes the idea of an African or Indian theme you can probably narrow google searches (or amazon) down quite easily.

onlysettleforbutterflies · 08/12/2013 13:49

My tomboy dsd is happy to wear shorts and tights if we're going somewhere that requires dressing up, plainish top and a blazer. Smart but funky and non girlie.

Jeans or leggings are a no for me at weddings.

ShoeSmacking · 08/12/2013 13:49

Oops. Sorry, I managed to copy and paste something into that message!

FauxFox · 08/12/2013 16:11

this playsuit is cute
or
dog trousers and a white tshirt?

accessorizequeen · 08/12/2013 17:54

What time of year will the wedding be? My first thought was a monsoon jumpsuit. Don't see how jeans can look smart. But slimline velvet trousers could. Boden do lovely ones for girls.

MrsLettuce · 08/12/2013 17:57

OP said the wedding is in April, IIRC. I'd hoped to find a nice jumpsuit to link to in monsoon but they are all glitzy or ruffle / pleat-tastic ATM. Hopefully things will be better after Christmas...

scaevola · 08/12/2013 17:57

Monsoon usually do suits (marketed for boys) in fabrics like velvet, with narrow trousers and a Mao style jacket. I think it'd look good on a girl too.

MrsLettuce · 08/12/2013 18:17

Sounds fab! Zara has some blouses ATM that'd work well with something like that IIRC

fruitpastille · 08/12/2013 18:23

I got an aztec print skater dress in asda for my dd. She is much younger but I think an 8 year old could wear it. My dd doesn't mind about clothes but she doesn't suit frilly stuff. To wear over navy leggingsnor tights. Maybe a bit too cheap and cheerful though? link

Original poster
hattyyellow · 09/12/2013 09:51

Wow, these are all great suggestions, thanks so much everyone.

In answer to the question about what DD wants to wear..she doesn't really know..I asked her and she does understand and respect the fact that she can't wear a muddy tracksuit to a wedding.

I think she's entering an interesting and perhaps challenging time as she goes into the tweenie-stage..she is aware that boys and girls in her class are talking about sisters and brothers with girlfriends and boyfriends etc and at times are pretending that they are going out together. So I think she realises that at some point she might want to look more feminine. But where we live is rural and muddy and parties are generally in icy cold village halls so there are limited opportunities to wear pretty and thinner clothing!

But I do support her in not wanting to wear a dress. I don't see why she should have to, if there are smart alternatives out there..

I love the idea of velvet suit or trousers, that would seem a good compromise - plus a blazer. Plus she could wear it again, whereas a dress I think would be a big battle and would end up sitting in a cupboard until my younger DD is big enough to wear it.

She will at times agree to having her hair up, it can just go into bunches or a pony tail - which does help to demonstrate she is a girl!

Thanks so much all, you've given me a lot to think about.

OP posts:
Original poster
hattyyellow · 09/12/2013 09:59

Just looking at blazers - what do you think underneath? Shirt might look too overly masculine - plain top too err plain?

OP posts:
yellowsnownoteatwillyou · 09/12/2013 10:46

A plain top with the blazer would be fine, white cotton/ linen one with buttons would look good I think.
It's so hard being that age for clothes for occasions. I Hated dresses, and didn't really wear them until about 25.

I remember being dragged round shops and not having a clue what I was supposed to like or be looking for as only wanted to wear jeans/ trackie and hoodies.

yellowsnownoteatwillyou · 09/12/2013 10:49

top

This type of thing, not this but I would have coped with wearing it

KristinaM · 09/12/2013 10:56

I think it's worth finding out what she specifically objects to . Floral patterns? Tight or constricting clothing? Dresses or skirt because she can't do cartwheels in them? Heels? Pink or frilly? Certain fabrics? Shiny or floaty?

Often it's not smart in general they hate. Just one particular version of smart That they have in their head is a " wedding outfit " .

I have a sporty 13yo DD? She doesn't like pattern or showing too much flesh or short skirts. so for Christmas she is wearing a red lace tunic style top , black leggings with sparkles , black and silver mid heel sandals and a white fur jacket. She will fix up her hair and put blingy clips in it.

I would be happy for her to attend a winter wedding in that outfit ( and in our country people dress up more for weddings than they do in England )

Original poster
hattyyellow · 09/12/2013 11:10

Thanks yellowsnow will have a look. It's really useful to have someone who was in a similar position and knows where DD is coming from!

Kristina - she just doesn't like wearing anything which to her is girlie - so that would be anything pink, frilly, lacy, shiny, sparkly, flowery, heels, hair clips, lots of patterns. I think she identifies more with activities that are typically considered for boys, like bikes and climbing and getting muddy - even though so many girls do like doing these things!

She also hates itchy labels so that's also why she's keen on tracksuit trousers - as she can't stand the elastic/button contraptions that so many trousers have to make the waist smaller. She is slender, so most trousers tend to fall down on her.

She will wear blue/green/red/grey/navy/yellow/grey generally. I think because she considers these unisex colours. She's blonde, so these colours suit her - particularly navy and green. Velvet would look lovely on her, but I'm thinking she would probably consider it girlie - sigh!

Something nautical might work well - I'm sure I've seen women in smart navy/white piped nautical things at smart do's - that wouldn't be girlie but it would look smart - I'm watching some nautical blazers on ebay which might be good following all the great ideas on this thread..

OP posts:
Original poster
hattyyellow · 09/12/2013 11:13

www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Girl-Next-Navy-blazer-Aged-9-Years-/251394298345?pt=UK_Kids_Coats_Jackets&hash=item3a884491e9

maybe something like this? with white top and navy trousers? hair brushed into submission ;)

OP posts:
AnAdventureInCakeAndWine · 09/12/2013 11:16

Yes, I think that would work. Or with a navy and white striped top, maybe.