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Original poster

Help me! Professional look for larger size

31 replies

KinkyDoritowithfairylightson · 07/12/2013 16:09

Hi all

I'm starting a new job in January and I want to look more professional than I currently do. I make very little effort with my appearance, but suspect that this is getting me nowhere fast in my job.

I am currently about a size 18, apple shape carrying a lot of skin on my belly from two very large babies and complicated births. It's not a pretty sight and part of the reason that I gave up on myself. It's difficult to hide and gets me down. It gets worse as I lose weight: more loose. The only way I can lose it permanently is to have surgery which I can't afford. I have had lots of consultations.

I used to do more exercise which didn't help the appearance but made me feel better. We've had a difficult couple of years as a family though (DD has just finished treatment for cancer), so I've really stopped looking after myself. I need to get a grip!

So, slim legs, awful arms, awful body.

I have shoulder length crazy dark hair.

If anyone has any ideas, I will be very grateful.

I am hopeless. Sad

OP posts:
Original poster
KinkyDoritowithfairylightson · 07/12/2013 16:10

Oh, I'm 5' 9'' and struggle in heels!

OP posts:
Homebird11 · 07/12/2013 16:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Parsnipcake · 07/12/2013 16:27

Haircut to start definitely, I tend to wear plain wrap dresses with a smart cardigan and scarf. Designers at Debenhams, particularly Betty Jackson works for me.

DeathByLaundry · 07/12/2013 16:31

I have your figure except my legs are seriously chunky (shapely but enormous!). And I'm short. I think the technical term is "dumpy" Hmm

Anyway. You need a shift dress and a blazer. I'll be back with links.

mirry2 · 07/12/2013 16:34

A very good haircut will do wonders

helzapoppin2 · 07/12/2013 16:34

Kinky, you are not hopeless, you are wonderful!
I hope your DD will continue to get better, and your family will get "out of the woods" for a while.
As they always say, tailored is probably the way to go to look professional. Jacket, skirt or trousers, earrings, or dresses with a jacket over.
I am the same size as you. The first thing that sprung to mind was Spanx and that type of thing to give you more shape, I am not prepared to suffer, so mostly go for Sloggis which give a little control, but are comfortable.
Just about everyone does size 18 these days, online if you can't find what you want in the shops.
Insideoutstyleblog is good for tips, the woman who writes it is no lightweight herself. The Navabi site is inspiring showing some lovely plus size models in gorgeous clothes. Look at the magazine.it does features on the kind of thing you're looking for.
Look and feel gorgeous, but remember, being the mum of two lovely children is far more important!

Thereisaplace · 07/12/2013 16:43

I find jaegar good, although I normally buy when they reduce to 1/2 price or sometimes less.
Otherwise boden dresses or the white company ones are also good in size 18/XL.

DeathByLaundry · 07/12/2013 16:49
tethersend · 07/12/2013 16:53

What's your budget?

I'd go for some dresses like:

jaeger 1

jaeger 2

jaeger 3

hobbs 1

hobbs 2

hobbs 3

Sittingbull · 07/12/2013 16:55

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
KinkyDoritowithfairylightson · 07/12/2013 17:11

Thank you all so much. I'm on my way out now, so will be back to read and respond properly later - feeling really touched that I've had so many suggestions!! Thanks

I'm a teacher. Have worked throughout DDs illness, but was very much a career climber before. Have had to step back and I know my image at work is shocking. Want to start fresh in the new place looking the business. Don't have lots of cash, but also seeing it as a bit of an investment!

OP posts:
Original poster
KinkyDoritowithfairylightson · 07/12/2013 17:15

Should add - had no choice but to work through her illness!! couldn't afford to stop

OP posts:
iheartdusty · 07/12/2013 17:20

I am a similar shape and find good work dresses at M&S, though you have to keep looking. Teamed with a black or grey jacket from Austin Reed they are fail safe.
eg
this one although not in size 18 atm

this one

this one

MrsKitty · 07/12/2013 17:24

I find winter / autumn much easier than summer. Good high waisted tights for holding everything in, with well cut, above the knee dresses. I like Boden, Jaeger and sometimes Tu at Sainsburys. Although don't do what I've done and binge and pile a few more lbs on, as now i've gone over a 20 it's practically impossible to dress the way I want to.

MrsKitty · 07/12/2013 17:25

Also, find a shop / brand that suits your shape and then search eBay for clothes in your size from that store.

helzapoppin2 · 07/12/2013 19:09

Ha, ha, kinky, I was going to say I am/was a teacher, so not an expert on dressing smartly!

Sittingbull · 07/12/2013 19:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
KinkyDoritowithfairylightson · 08/12/2013 15:23

Thank you for all of the lovely suggestions. I've never really worn a dress to work, but might seek out some of the ones linked to above. I never go shopping, so might be a nice thing to do to make a bit of time for myself and head out. I definitely think support underwear might help. I did used to wear it but stopped when I got bigger.

I'm also thinking of getting a couple of decent suits, but need long-line jackets which seem quite hard to come by at the minute. Everything seems to be cropped, which isn't very flattering on me.

As far as hair goes, I will be keeping it as it is quite unusual and my one decent feature, but I will get it coloured so my grey isn't showing and get it cut so it's tidy. I also need to try out putting it up. I never use products and can only manage a ponytail that always looks unkempt. I am useless!!

OP posts:
Original poster
KinkyDoritowithfairylightson · 08/12/2013 15:23

did used Hmm. Ignore me with my awful grammar. I'm having a very fibro day today.

OP posts:
helzapoppin2 · 08/12/2013 16:06

M&S have a few longer line jackets. For a good overview of lots of brands try the House of Fraser website. You can search "jacket" and see lots of different ones. You can also put in your measurements and it will tell you what size you need from each make. Some cut a bit small! Or you can even (horrors!) go to the shops.
I hang onto my longer line jackets, bought a while ago because it's difficult to buy them these days.

SuckItAndSee · 08/12/2013 16:08

yy to Boden
the skirts and dresses all come in a long length, which is work appropriate for a fellow 5'9"er

pandarific · 08/12/2013 17:38

Kinky, I think subtle, light makeup makes a world of difference! I don't know what your budget is like, but while you find your feet, I think you can do no better than grabbing one of these lovely, inexpensive palettes by MUA from superdrug. They're nice quality shadow that can be blended well, all of the colours compliment each other and even applied with a finger, on the bus, in 3 seconds flat, they'll give you a lovely, polished look for your eyes. The cheat's polished work makeup! ;)

www.superdrug.com/mua-professional/mua-eyeshadow-palette-heaven-and-earth/invt/267771&bklist=
www.superdrug.com/mua-makeup-academy/mua-eyeshadow-palette-undress-me-too/invt/635750&bklist=

If after trying the above a) you like the look it gives and b) you have the cash, urban decay have the most beautiful work-appropriate eyeshadow in the form of any of the naked palettes (there are 3 versions, they are beautiful, but expensive).

Re: the loose skin - have you had a look at derma roller treatments? I think if you first focused on getting down to a size you feel comfortable with, a course of derma roller or skin needling treatments would very definitely help the skin tighten up. You'd need to get it done professionally, but a course would be much cheaper than surgery and I think would really help.

First though, I'd recommend so much grabbing a set of weights and some dvds by the trainer Jillian Michaels. She's great!