My hair is driving me insane . Please please help

[Orangeanddemons]

I have very thick, but very fine hair with a slight wave at the back. it is also very strong and wilful, and I would say it looks easy to control, sort of smooth and shiny but it isn't or at least it isn't now.

I used to colour it with a semi perm, but the semi perm was too dark and wouldn't wash out, so hairdresser lightened it. Ever since then its been a bloody nightmare. The ends are wispy and fine and do whatever they want, there seems to be no weight in them at all. this is not right for my hair, which is generally heavy.

Where the lightened bits are, my hair sort of flares out, and will not stay straight, but kinks and curls every which way. My hair normally turns under naturally. It takes me hours of straightening and I have to slather it in serum, otherwise it just frizzes and floats about and DOES MY HEAD IN.

I feel messy and ungroomed all the time, and just want it to behave like it does before it was lightened. Do I need to cut it off? I am trying to grow it. I coat it in reams of conditioner when washing, but it makes no difference.
Please please someone help me....

Why are you trying to grow it? It sounds like a short cut would be perfect for you.

Do you feel like putting a pic up? You can wear a mask if you like

I am trying to grow it to put some weight back in it. When my hair is in layers it all flicks in different directions. But not in a stylish way, just in a mad scientist sort of way. Think Daphne on Scooby Doo, that has hair that flicks in 2 different directions. Or is that Velma?

what about a super short style? like this

or go with the flicks and make that part of the style. like these

have you tried moroccan oil? that's good for controlling hair. yours sounds a bit like mine, it's fine but i have lots of it, growing it longer is the only way it behaves itself. i keep tying mine back as it stays smarter that way. can you do that

I hate flicky styles, they look like a bad hair day, although mine would do them perfectly.

I have tried Moroccan oil, but it made no difference. Still flicked every which way. It tends to behave better in a blunt cut, rather than a layered one.

I also tie it back, but then where the lightened bits are, it just creates random waves, and then when I take it down it seems to flick outwards, almost at 45 degrees

That does look interesting.

However, it usually behaves when I've just washed it. Its the next day when the problems start, and I don't have time to wash it in the mornings

It sounds as though the highlighting combined with lots of straightening might have dried it out - I also have thick but fine hair and find that combination a killer. Have you tried an intensive conditioner treatment? Your regular conditioner probably isn't enough to combat the over-processing. Kerastase ones are excellent (try the age recharge or aqua-oleum) or lots of people on here seem to like coconut oil - don't know whether that works on this type of hair though.

Your hairdresser might have cut too many layers too - if your hair is like mine it just won't work if the cut's wrong.