I feel disgusting.

[NoSplashNoGash]

Christ, I'm only 24 but after three babies my low self-esteem is off the scale and I hate my face most days.

I've got a couple of broken blood vessels on my cheek, from the pushing I think! Although strangely I can live with those. Couple of veins near my chin. My skin always seems red and blotchy and even though I have treated myself to some nice make up (Clinique/Benefit) it doesn't seem to stay on very long.

Stupid frigging white spot thing under my eye, in the corner (think milia type thing). I feel like it's all people look at although no one has mentioned it.

I keep pulling my eyelashes out. Had naturally long ones and I'm going to end up ruining them.

Legs are fucking hairy and gross. Ok, ok, shaving would obviously help - but I never feel like I have time.

I love my hairdresser and spend a good £45 every few weeks getting my hair done but now I can't stand it. Scalp is inexplicably really dry and flaky - that came out of nowhere! I've been growing my hair for a couple of years but now it's long ish and just sits there and I feel like I need a new style but too scared to go for it.

What's worse is that I don't help myself - eat lots of crap, drink nothing but fizzy drinks (cant remember the last time I had a glass of water) and do zero exercise. I'm lucky to still be a size 8, but this is all probably impacting on my face, esteem... Id do something about it but food, drink and sitting on the sofa are my "treats" at the end of the day so it's hard.

Fwiw, I have a DP who thinks the world of me, but me hating myself is seriously winding him up!

Fuck, Anyone got any advice?! Give me a makeover

24 with three babies? I think you are **ing amazing! I hope someone comes along with some beauty advice, but in the meantime, content yourself that someone thinks you are wonderful!

I have a thread, similar but more hating the way I dress, feel rather than my face, although that could probably do with some help too.

It is all about liking yourself and with the help of some lovely people on here, after just one day I already feel a lot better about myself.

Maybe baby steps, can you jump in the shower and take your time, shave, deep condition your hair, etc. I always feel better after a leisurely shower/soak in the bath.

Wiser people than myself will be along soon I'm sure. Take care xx

Oh hedwig, I've just seen your thread and will make sure I read that tonight - hate my wardrobe too!

Helza - that made me laugh!! Thank you, sorry to disappoint but I meant I have three children, (5, 2 and 11 months) so didn't have them all at once!

Maryshelly - I'm taking note and on the boots website as we speak... Keep the steps coming! :)

Its has some really great advice and I am going to use everyone's advice, but step by step in my own time, change takes a long time, especially if you feel like me, so very low. I was literally nearly crying yesterday when I posted my OP, but today its like I'm a different person.

I see by the ages of your DC, a long soak or shower is not going to happen until your DH is home, I remember those days well, my youngest DS is 6 now, so at least I manage to finish a cup of tea

Thank you hedwig. That's amazing how different you feel after 24 hours! I'm at the almost crying stage right now...

Sadly DP is working away :( however I do have the evenings to kill so could have a long soak then... As well as read your thread :)

Here's my tip:

Get up right now and go and drink a small glass of water. Come back and tell us you've done it!

Pulling out your eyelashes can be a symptom of a condition called Trichotillomania. I have linked to this website for you to have a read of. It is a symptom of anxiety and a compulsion. Please do what you can to tackle this before it worsens.

Have you considered taking a good multi vitamin and mineral supplement? A trip to the GP's for a check up wouldn't go amiss either- check your iron levels especially as low levels= low mood and low energy and volition.

Making the effort can make it easier to make more effort re grooming and taking time for yourself. It communicates self worth and self affirmation. A nice perfume, buy yourself a pair of shoes or a scarf or a bag. Little treats that don't involve a great deal of angst over choosing them.

Can you get a babysitter? Get out, go for a film, a walk, round to friends without the kids. Go out with your partner. Flirt with him. Enjoy his company. That kind of thing reconnects you as a pair and you as an adult woman who is not Mummy.

Phillip Kingsley does products for all kinds of problem scalps. It may be the change of weather and hormonal fluctuation is affecting your scalp. Go to the hair stylists. Don't punish yourself and stop giving yourself more ammunition re the self hatred.

Baby steps indeed! {hugs} nosplash

Have you had that glass of water yet?

Emergency Renovation Steps - ie: use what you have!

*Wash hair first and put on a mask or just tons of conditioner and wrap in cling film or a shower cap (attractive, non?)

*Remove nail polish if necessary

*File nails, clip toenails

Cleanse your face twice*

*Use a scrub if you have one or use a hot flannel to wake your skin up

*Apply a face mask or at least a layer of moisturiser before you soak in the bath

*Soak :)

*Push back cuticles whilst soaking. Both hands and feet - doesn't have to be a gadget, a thumbnail will suffice!

*Body scrub, loofah or a plain flannel on your limbs - bribe a kid to do your back

*Shave/defuzz - hair conditioner works well for this bit

*Pull the plug, dry off first with a flannel for extra scrubbing

*Wrap in a warm towel

*Rinse hair

*Body lotion/foot/handcream

*Glass of whatever

*Paint nails if required

Did I miss anything? You should be feeling a bit better after this!

You can make this much more elaborate depending on yur potions but I wanted you to get started at least x

seriously worried about your diet if you are guzzling fizzy drinks and not putting on weight. This means you must be eating almost nothing which is a terrible example for your children.

if you do nothing else, stop buying the canned toilet cleaner (Costs a fortune anyway) and start eating and drinking properly.

Op, the title of your thread and what you say about compulsively pulling out your eyelashes make me feel concerned for you.

We're all more than happy to give advice about how to better take care of yourself and develop your style - and these things can certainly help a woman to feel better about herself no doubt - but they won't cure more serious underlying issues such as compulsive, addictive behaviour (which is what Trichotillomania, or having a habit of pulling out ones hair, is.)

Please don't feel judged or in any way embarrassed. Compulsive behaviours are sooooo common and come in a million different forms - cleaning, nail biting, gambling - you name it. But stopping without support can sometimes be difficult and a new pair of shoes won't make it go away.

I think you deserve some real life support.

But if you still want to talk hair and make-up, I'm happy to do that too

Thanks everyone!

Hellon - I've had a can of fanta on the go all afternoon! But I promise I will take some water up to bed. Then definitely drink some tomorrow.

Mignonette - yeh I'm pretty sure I have that condition! I stopped doing it for about two weeks then got really ill with flu and alsorts and started again. I need to stop this! We could get a babysitter in theory... Love the idea of "flirting" with DP. I'm sure I do anyway when we're on our own (rarely) but I really want to make the effort. Flirting used to be second nature to me! I'd never heard of the PK scalp products but just had a look and they had great reviews so will order some ASAP. Thank you.

Peasy - loved that list! Really want to do it tonight but as DP is home on Friday I think I'll wait until tomorrow night. He always notices when I'm feeling more sexy and confident.

Special - really wanted to say this, but oh no, I eat a colossal amount! Three meals a day, snacks if time, loads of chocolate at night, takeaways galore when children in bed. This is what I mean. It's not good! But please don't assume I don't eat in front of the children. We eat all our meals together.

Fuckit - you're right, and I completely agree. I'm on a waiting list for counselling and have been waiting since July 1st! I used to pay privately but it ate up my savings. So yeh.

I redid my make up for the school run (!) and did feel better...

Hair wise, I feel like maybe getting it cut to shoulder length (I've had this before). But I'm worried I won't feel "feminine" as I won't have "long blonde hair" any more. Well, not that it looks that great atm! Any ideas?

Milia are easy to remove. Put a warm cloth on it, then get a needle and scrape a little hole in the skin. Then you can scrape out the stuff inside. My DP gets them and I love picking them

Make sure it is a milia before you start picking of course. You'll probably have a small scab for a couple of days but it'll be gone. Be careful though.

Also, I had a vein on my nose and I got it lasered. It took about thirty seconds, cost £40 and made a big difference.

Try a salicylic acid scrub on your face. I use Dermalogica daily microfoliant and it leaves me skin soft and clearer. It's pricey but it lasts a few months (I actually use it twice a day but that might irritate your skin).

Freerangeeggs - haha don't be embarrassed, I've been doing the same thing for years! Removed two milia this way on my cheek a couple of weeks ago, but the eye one hasn't worked, and caused a lot of stress when I thought I'd "ruined" my face!

Also that's good to hear about the £40 vein treatment, thank you. Will look into it.

Love the sound of soft and clearer skin! Thanks again x

I age about the milia. A clean pin (wipe it down with nail varnish remover first) push it in just enough to get under the skin and hook the oil with the pin. It will come out, job done. Clearly be careful near your eyes.

Drink the water now. I can't talk I only drink diet coke. I have started this week drinking a pint of water each evening.

Take a supplement. A multi vitamin and oil of evening primrose/fish oil. Easy to do if you build it into your night time routine.

Do you have a pot of sudacrem? Silly question - you have three babies! Put a thin layer of sudacrem all over your face before you apply your make up (rub it in obviously!) and your make up will stay on all day.

Salycilic acid is great but expensive. Get a soluble aspirin, mix with a tiny drop of water and half a tablespoon of honey. Slather it on your face and sit in front of the tv for an hour. Will do wonders for your skin.

When was the last time you had your hair cut NoSplash? Could you afford to go somewhere with a senior stylist to get advice on what new style would suit?

I can understand your apprehension at getting your long hair cut off - I would feel the same - but a shorter do might look great, and have the added bonus of being easier to look after with three little ones.

Thanks for the tips...

Last had hair cut on sep 19th; just a trim. Yy to lower maintenance style!

Don't want to frighten you but someone very close to me pulled her lashes out for so long that she now has none left . I mean none at all - and she has to use eyeliner tricks to try to hide the fact. If she could turn back time and get help before that happened she definitely would. I'm also wondering about possible thyroid/ blood sugar issues, given what you say about diet etc. It is hard to look after yourself when you are looking after everyone else, but perhaps a visit to the GP might be in order?

It's ok, Future, I need a kick up the arse. Hmm i have wondered about thyroid issues. Bit too ashamed to go to the GP right now though :(

I am drinking water!

Woo hoo - drinking water! Go you!

About the milia - I had one near my eye. I rubbed rosehip oil on it every evening and it went away. I used Trilogy rosehip oil but I think Neil's Yard does one too.

Do you eat much fruit and veg OP? Adding a couple of extra servings a day always helps me feel better (I struggle with my mood and self esteem and with maintaining a healthy way of eating)

Ok so update, if anyone is interested!

I have a pack of 8 cans of coke that were delivered by Asda yesterday morning. They are untouched. BIG achievement for me! And I'm sure DP will polish them off...

Currently sat reading/mumsnetting while baby is asleep and I've got a glass of water by my side. Unheard of for me. Thank you Hellon.

I spent about £50-60 on beauty products etc this morning, so cannot wait to get the pampering session underway tonight (also a great excuse to ignore trick or treaters if I'm in the bath!).

Realised that the health of my body inside will reflect on the outside, so if I drank fizzy drinks today I'd have essentially wasted my money on all those beauty products. Hence the giant glass of water

Any more tips, keep them coming :)

Oh, Hellon, re the rosehip oil... Very tempted to buy some but I'm worried about making it worse, you know?

Yesterday was a v bad day, but when I KNOW my hair/make up/clothes look good, I don't notice it so much if you get me.

I feel so much better when my nails are done.
I file and paint them myself, but it still feels so much better than nothing.

Coffeeinbed, I really want to do my nails. I feel the same as you. Butttt what puts me off is the taking forever to dry. I've got a spray to dry them faster but you still can't really do anything afterwards unless you want them to smudge! Hmmm...