Sorting Myself Out

[hedwig06]

I am fed up

I have 3 wardrobes full of clothes but feel like crap. I keep buying more and more stuff and nothing seems to hang or sit right on me.
I have been on dressipi and have dressipi set up on my ebay account also. I have done an online colour analyzer so I could try to buy the right colours.
But I still feel crap and uncomfortable.

I think its come to a head because I have been invited to a Halloween/40th birthday party on Saturday, I never go out I have been out twice in about 10 years. Its fancy dress ....

I have spent the last month looking for something to wear and have found nothing, I hastily bought this

Its going to look crap I know I feel an idiot and I haven't even tried it on, it will be a sack hanging off me.

I try to look after myself, I use anti wrinkle cream, I do my nails, I keep my eyebrows in trim, its the rest of me that looks like crap.

Dressipi puts me in clingy clothes, which I wouldn't wear in a million years, every bloody pair of jeans/jeggings I own and I own loads as I keep buying them to find a decent pair shows my bum or keeps rolling/sliding down, so I hoiking them up all the time.

Can you stylish people give me some tips on feeling better about yourself and dressing well - I would most appreciate it.

[SthingMustBeScaringThemAway]

A little something to inspire you

Perhaps a wonderful embroidered wine-coloured shawl to go with the jeans?

[HelloBoys]

ooh - another thing - do some more PInterest boards or magazine clip stuff, THEN show us.

put stuff you think is unaffordable - we need ideas.

I would have never for example have tried a tube skirt/dress before coming on here. I got the most gorgeous Whistles pyramid bracelet and also a sort of Eagle statement diamante Accessorize necklace thing (not on website now) 2 weeks ago.

The Eagle necklace I wouldn't normally go for but I thought it is different, a bit rock chick and I like it.

I have small bones/wrists etc so generally huge jewellery looks awful on me.

Got a lovely Oasis orange and gold squares necklace quite statement but brightens up black etc - and normally I run screaming from gold and orange. My mum when she saw me in it said "ooh that's nice".

It's all about doing something a bit different. with our help.

[HelloBoys]

also put a mix of cheap, mid end and super duper expensive stuff.

[LordPalmerston]

OP stop shopping at dorothy perkins = you are too old

[hedwig06]

Lord Thanks for that

[hedwig06]

Hello Here is the link to "My Love it" board on pinterest, I have added some things to it, and I will continue to add things as well.

www.pinterest.com/hedwig06/i-love/

Thanks xx

[feelingood]

hedwig I didnt actually mention phase eight but yes there stuff is great I have two dresses from there. I like a lot of your pinned items, especially the colour schemes of the grays and tans.

What I look for with dresses for my shape:

Wrap and cross over styles (I have to be slimmer to wear shift and thenthe have to be well cut - cant beat a well cut shit with what ever shoes are in fashion and on trend colours in a neck scarf plus bag)

I stick to knee lenghts (I stopped buying tunics for leggings) and longer, follow your line as Gok says - never but yourself across with a horizontal hem at a wide point.

I buy plain fabrics OR patterns that are subtle in the colours or style.

I buy fabrics that are heavy/drapey and not clingy.

I only wear two colours, a third colour would have to be splash or tonal.

MOST importantly for me as I accept that there are lovelt lovely outfits that just dont suit me no matter how much you jiggle/hold/accessorise. I dress to suit my shape, function and colours that suit ME. I broadly stay on trend - if I cant do a garmet I can always find footwear/bags to lift a plain outfit. Im much more measured in what I buy.


I cant recommend trying some stuff on from mint velvet then you can just order online from sales once you get an idea for your size.

Avoid boxy drapey knits - if you look carefully some knits are tapered. It took me a while to find a cream cable knit.

[feelingood]

omg shift not shit lol

[peasypeeler]

Just glancing at your pinterest I think you like quite a romantic/feminine style. Quite a few ruffles and dresses. Maybe read up a bit about that style and see where it takes you?

You're doing really well - keep going! :)

[HelloBoys]

i can see your style more now - some of the stuff I love - the Mint Velvet and Oasis items especially.

I don't think you'd Instagram would you? if you could take selfies (you don't have to do face) we could rate them for you?

I have a sort of idea. Why don't you invite a friend/neighbour/relative round when you try stuff on? Maybe your DH (he sounds adorable, a keeper! ) and get honest opinions when you order/buy some stuff.

this way you would I think keep/send back stuff that didn't suit you.

I am only suggesting you DO DO this until you're more confident with shopping and finding your own style.

[pantsjustpants]

I think someone mentioned Phase Eight earlier? I love their dresses! They are beautifully made and worth spending the extra.

I'm currently hankering after this , which I think would be so useful and versatile.

Keep an eye out on Debenhams, I bought my last one (a beautiful purple draped one) for £30 in the sales!!

[HelloBoys]

oh how about Ash Spiral boots to go with the skinny jeans? they could give you height if you're after that. much loved here too

[pantsjustpants]

In the interests of helping both Hedwig and myself....... Wine coloured skinnys, what do you wear on top??

I tried a skinny black jumper and felt daft, end up with longish cream shirt with a vest underneath and felt rubbish all day tbh.

When you've lived in black or navy for your entire life, colour is scary!!

[hedwig06]

Feel I've never really bought anything wrap around as although all the style websites say they are flattering I've never really thought so on myself.

Hello I tried to take a picture of myself earlier, but the lights not great, and all you could see was flash My DH is going to come with me soon, after a sort out, he has always said I look nice in different things, but I've thought he was being tactful! When normally he's really not, he calls a spade a spade, so I think trusting him more might be on the cards.

pants I looked at that dress last night - its lovely. Thanks for the Debenhams idea, I've underwear from there but I've never looked at their clothes.

Hello I've had my eye on these boots for a while, what do you think?

[hedwig06]

I agree pants, I have worn them in the house with a loose floaty cream t-shirt, but I didn't fell comfortable in the outfit at all, shame really as the jeans are lovely.

[hedwig06]

Hello I have put three pictures on my profile, not the best but all I have xx

[Fuckitthatlldo]

Gah! You've got an amazing shape! What are you on about, everything looks shit!?

Ok, so first things first. And I hope you don't think me too familiar...

But. You have amazing breasts. So I think it's worth really making sure you have a properly fitting bra that makes the most of them. Most women need to go tighter in the band and fuller in the cup than they've been led to believe.

You also have a small waist that goes in and out in all the right places.

Plus, good legs.

I think a knee-ish length wrap dress would look stunning on you. It would highlight your best features, while being forgiving around the tummy area (I can't see any real problem to be honest but you've stated your not comfortable with it and so I'm taking that into account.) The thing with wrap dresses is that you can tie them in such a way as to create a little ruching around the tummy area. Very forgiving. Wear with heels and knock 'em dead.

Deep v-necks will also work well on your figure. Think soft sweaters in beautiful colours that suit you.

You absolutely can wear skinny jeans. There's no pear shape to balance out with a wider leg, so something simple like skinny jeans with a v-neck sweater or fitted open necked shirt with either knee lenth boots, or some sort of heel (doesn't have to be majorly high) will look lovely.

Think fitted, not baggy. Start with the basics and think quality over quantity. Beautiful accessories always fit! And they make us feel good. A really expensive pair of sunglasses always does it for me. Scarves and bags too.

HTH Hedwig. xxx

[hedwig06]

Fuck That's very kind of you, but I really don't like my arms, legs, tummy or bum at all. My boobs are the only thing I don't mind

I have been on the bra intervention thread and am now wearing a 32H [gulp]

I never wear or buy shirts as they gape over my boobs and if I buy a size to fit my boobs then they are like a sack around my middle. Is there anywhere you recommend for shirts as I do like them.

I already own a lot of scarves - they are a weakness of mine, although again only from Asda, New look etc.

[hedwig06]

P.S I never wore the dress out of the house, I felt huge in it, although I still have the shoes just to look at

[Fuckitthatlldo]

Also, perhaps we can use your top picture to highlight some things that don't work.

The skinny style of jeans looks great. No problem. It's just going to be a question of you finding a fit you're happy with. Again, Levi Curve jeans cut for shape as well as size and I've had a lot of joy with them.

The tops you are wearing don't flatter your lovely shape. Firstly the cardigan doesn't fit and so it is straining over the top half of your body. Wearing anything that's too small and has to be pulled and stretched to fit will always make you look and feel bigger than you are. Also with just the top buttons done up, what's happening is that the rest of the fabric is pulling back towards your waist. This creates a kind of triangle which exposes an area you're not happy with and makes it look, again, bigger.

A fitted (not skin tight) sweater with a deep v-neck would streamline your figure and look lovely with the jeans. If you have a cardigan and want to do it up, make sure it fits well enough that you can do it up comfortably over your entire body. Then you have the option of only doing up one or two buttons, but doing them up over the tummy, rather than the chest area.

Do you have any blazers? A well cut blazer nipped in slightly at the waist would look fabulous and you could wear it with jeans, skirts, and dresses.

[hedwig06]

I don't have a blazer, I always thought I would look like I was dressing up if I wore one, crazy I know.

I like the idea of a v-neck sweater, although I thought it would be better if they are long line to cover the bum area?

[Fuckitthatlldo]

Ah sorry, cross posts. Ok, so you're not comfortable with your upper arms, tummy or bum. That's ok.

I would choose sweaters, layering t-shirts and blazers that sit at the hip rather than the waist. Always more flattering as far as the rear view is concerned.

I'm not comfortable with my upper arms either. That's easy - I just make sure stuff has sleeves! Experiment with elbow length and three quarter lenth sleeves though. Depending on where they end compared to the rest of your body, they can work well.

You need to buy decently fitted shirts. This may mean spending a little more. You can try places like GAP and Hobbs, and Reiss. The point is that they need to be cut with a nip in the waist. You can also try the 'front tuck' with shirts ie you tuck in the front and leave the rest free. This can create a relaxed but slightly more defined shape.

You know what bra size you are - that's great! And you like your boobs. Ok, so buy yourself some beautiful flattering underwear that makes you feel and look fabulous. Some t-shirt style bras are always necessary, without any lace or bows or obvious seams, as these can be worn under fitted clothes and t-shirts with stretch in the material while still retaining a very streamlined shape.

[Fuckitthatlldo]

Blazers can be dressed up or down, no problem. Worn with a t-shirt, skinny jeans, a scarf and flats, they really can look very casual, but stylish too.

[hedwig06]

Thanks Fuckitthatlldo

I'll have another mooch on Pinterest tonight, I am writing a list of the "key" items I want to have a look for when I go window shopping with DH, I want to try some things on and walk away without buying, just so I know I can do it - sounds silly but I have this idea that I need to buy something, anything.

So far ....

Jeans - 1 pair, dark blue
Soft v neck sweater, maybe grey?
Dress
Shirt - plain
Blazer
Nice scarf - cream?
Boots, not sure what style yet
T-shirt bra, I have some lovely bra's but no plain ones.
Decent flat shoes, not New Look ones!!

Also maybe a cord skirt, I've seen one on another thread that's nice from Boden, but I'm not buying online for the moment, so have a look for a similar one.

[peasypeeler]

My 2c ... The first pic is all a bit bosomy - didn't realise that was a cardi - it would look better undone - I'm just the same as I, too am blessed with a bosom (34E) and I hate feeling bosomy so I avoid smocks and tightly done up cardis and shirts at ALL costs. I always wear a cardi open instead of done up and I wear shirts undone over tees or cami's like a blazer in Summer.

Some shirts with a bit of stretch I wear with 'tit-tape' - it's like doube-sided sellotape.

John Lewis have a fabulous V-neck cashmere sweater selection in plain colours - not the stripes. It's their 'collection' range and is £69 I bought it in cobalt and purple and it looks amazing with jeans.

One major thing - with the sweater I tried on a 12 but looked better in a 10 (ridiculous considering my bosom but you have to see which fits best. You (one, not YOU you) don't 'know' what size you are in anything unless you try it on.

You look good in jeans, I would also encourage you to buy skirts/dresses ON the knee or an inch below. It's more flattering.

You have a fabulous shape! You just need to learn to work with it :)

I'm genuinely excited for you Hedwig you're getting great advice and I can relate to all of it. I'm emerging from feeling like a sack of shite myself and have waited until now (49) to address it so I can really relate x