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Original poster

Saving nice clothes for best - why can't I kick this habit?

46 replies

freddiefrog · 23/10/2013 13:05

I've been making a concerted effort lately to wear all the clothes in my wardrobe, and stop saving stuff that I think is "nice" for best, as I just ended up with a wardrobe full of clothes I didn't wear, but I'm failing miserably

I like clothes and I do try to make an effort every day, but I'd find myself discounting new/nicer items of clothing because I wasn't going out that day, or if I was, I didn't deem it somewhere good enough to wear the nicer clothes to iyswim.

I also feel odd in skirts and dresses, I feel uncomfortable and a bit overdressed. I see people all the time pulling off casual skirts and dresses, so I don't know why I feel so done up in them

So today, I've forced myself into a skirt and a new(ish) Whistles jumper (that's been hanging in my wardrobe unworn for 6 months) but I'm sitting here at my computer feeling a knob, as I'm not going out today other than to do the school run later. It looks fine. I like it, I just feel overdressed in it and I'm so tempted to go and put my jeans on to do the school run later

How can I get out of this mindset?

OP posts:
WandaDoff · 23/10/2013 13:06

I've no idea, but if you find out please let me know because I have the same problem.

Alibabaandthe40nappies · 23/10/2013 13:09

I know exactly what you mean.

I do still like to keep some things for weekends and days out because my DCs are very little and climb on me and stick their arms inside my clothes and wipe their noses on me.

But I would like to wear dresses more, and I used to before DS1 started school. I think it is that the school playground is either 'work clothes' or jeans. On the few occasions I have worn a dress people look at me a bit oddly.
I have resolved to try and ignore and just wear what I like, but it isn't easy to get out of the rut.

LeoandBoosmum · 23/10/2013 13:09

This is me!!!
I have a gorgeous Hobbs jumper, for example, that I adore but have never worn...just like you! I bought it 2 winters ago! :(

BloooCowWonders · 23/10/2013 13:09

Do you think you look better dressed in your nicer clothes? Isn't that a good enough reason? Who says someone is 'over dressed' or 'under dressed' ?
Unless the 'best' clothes are uncomfortable, enjoy wearing them as much as you can :)

Alibabaandthe40nappies · 23/10/2013 13:16

Actually yesterday I kind of made progress. I wore a new jumper from Phase Eight for the first time.
I was only doing the school run, taking DS1 for an eye appointment and then dropping him at a party - nothing special at all.

I still wore my normal jeans though Grin

CambridgeBlue · 23/10/2013 13:30

I do this! I think it's because I'm worried an 'occasion' will happen and I won't have anything 'new' or 'nice' to wear for it - so the stuff sits there waiting for such an occasion which rarely seems to come along - bonkers eh?!

HormonalHousewife · 23/10/2013 13:36

This is me too

poocatcherchampion · 23/10/2013 13:36

ha! I'm currently wearing dh's PJs as the baby is being sick on everything. I have to go out shortly but I've been wondering if I can wear them out ... but I could put on my new jeans which this thread has reminded me of!

in short.. I do this!

Original poster
freddiefrog · 23/10/2013 13:37

On the few occasions I have worn a dress people look at me a bit oddly.

Yes!!! I don't know why it bothers me, I know it shouldn't, but it does.

Then you endlessly hear some people criticising other people for making an effort for the school run/who has time?/I'd rather spend time sleeping/etc and I end up feeling a bit of a knobber. I'm not "making an effort for the school" run particularly, I'm just getting dressed for the day ahead, but sometimes I feel overdressed

I work from home, I walk my dog, take the kids to school, go to the supermarket and PTA meetings, and I just have it in my head that a Whistles jumper is too "good" for that and I can't get out of that rut.

My kids are beyond the crawling around on the floor/vomiting on me/wiping soggy biscuit over me stage, I don't even have to run after them anymore so really, I can wear heels and skirts with gay abandon - I had a hankering to wear high heels with yesterday's outfit, but I didn't.

I guess because I worry what other people will think when I rock up for a PTA meeting in heels and a Whistles jumper Blush.

OP posts:
YDdraigGoch · 23/10/2013 13:39

But if you wear your "best" clothes for the daily grind, what do you wear when you go out?
I thought everyone had "best" clothes.

Original poster
freddiefrog · 23/10/2013 13:41

Sorry, x-posted

so the stuff sits there waiting for such an occasion which rarely seems to come along

Me too. These occasions that I'm saving this stuff for never come up - I just don't have that sort of lifestyle.

I have going out in the evening type clothes which I'm fine with, it's day stuff that I struggle with. I can't get it into my head that's it's fine to wear a nice Whistles jumper, whatever I'm up to

OP posts:
LaRegina · 23/10/2013 13:45

I've been trying to do this lately - I usually live in jeans and have loads of lovely dresses & skirts hanging unloved in the wardrobe.

So I have been wearing them, but I wish people wouldn't notice so much. I'm getting a bit 'grrrr' at people saying 'Ooh you look posh today' or even better 'what charges are you up on then?' Hmm. They may as well just say 'do you know you usually look like shit?'

actiongirl1978 · 23/10/2013 13:46

I have the same problem. I look v frumpy today in an oversized primark jumper, old knee high riding boots and a scarf because my house is freezing. Yet I have some lovely Cos tops which I like to save for going out or the weekend with my husband. A lot depends on me keeping warm - not much point wearing said Cos tops if I have to put a giant jumper over the top!

However I dress up for the following: Doctors appointments (took my son to a consultants last week and wore high heels and lipstick too!), PTA Meetings - everyone makes an effort, it is a very stylish affair with good coffee, M&S nibbles and a full morning! I also dress up for coffee mornings, all the mums do at my school. Hilariously though, we then all change again when we get home as we are all back in trainers by pick up, heels off and hair back up!

ladymontdore · 23/10/2013 13:48

No idea!

I've just bought some new clothes for the winter / autumn - and I'm sitting here in tattered jeans and a darned jumper. They are warm and comfy though! It seems like a waste to wear the nice clothes when I'm at home and I worry I'll spill stuff on them or get the knees worn and then have nothing smart left when (if!) I need it!

LaRegina · 23/10/2013 13:52

I cleared my wardrobe out a couple of days ago for the new season and found a gorgeous jumper dress that I paid about £60 for three years ago and have never worn since. It's lovely and it really suits me. I just don't want to 'spoil' it (it's cashmere, if that helps my case!).

chanie44 · 23/10/2013 13:53

I recently got rid of a load of 'best' clothes as they were no longer fashionable.

I feel Confused that I have wasted lots of money on items I've barely worn because I've been saving them for non existent occasions. Life is too short, buy it and enjoy it.

Now, I don't wear my nice items everyday, but I make the effort to wear them more eg going to meet friends, or having a 'me' day.

I normally dress items down eg, I feel much less overdressed if I wear dresses and skirts with flats.

cerealqueen · 23/10/2013 14:07

I'm trying to do this too, but worry people feel I'm a competitive mum dressing for the school run. No, I have some lovely clothes and want to wear them!!!

Its a bit harder in the winter with nice woollens. I often wear my apron over the top which sort of defeats the point.

helzapoppin2 · 23/10/2013 14:53

You read my mind! I have best clothes in my wardrobe and as chanie44 said they can go out of fashion while you're waiting to wear them.
It hasn't been that long since I cottoned on that I can dress up to go shopping in town rather than hiding from all mirrors.

Fuckitthatlldo · 23/10/2013 16:15

I've solved this problem by just not buying stuff that isn't nice. I buy new stuff far less often, but when I do, I make sure it's good quality. Therefore all the clothes in my wardrobe are items I really love and the slumming it option has been removed.

Obviously I have stuff for formal evenings out eg a little black dress, that I wouldn't wear day to day, but what I'm trying to say is that my cashmere jumpers and more expensive purchases get worn as a matter of course. I just don't see the point of having nice things if you're not going to wear them.

I also have extra comfy stuff for wearing around the house, but these tend to be actual loungewear/pyjamas, so you couldn't wear them out without looking like you'd just escaped from the local psychiatric facility.

It hasn't really ever occurred to me that other mothers on the school run may judge me. Judging someone for looking like they've made an effort seems extremely petty and small minded to me. I think the mums at my childrens school are nicer than that.

TripTrapTripTrapOverTheBridge · 23/10/2013 16:17

I feel the same! Wasn't so bad in summer and I just wore dresses anyway,but now it would be odd even though I want to!

higgle · 23/10/2013 16:21

I have taken this to extremes sometimes, I now have a stash of new clothes, with labels on, that I have never worn and don't really like anymore. There are a couple of Jigsaw dresses, and a Toast dress among them. I'll be ebaying them off next week and then I'll buy some more everyday things with the proceeds.

MyBoilsAreFab · 23/10/2013 16:24

I do this too. I work from home mostly, and so tend to not dress up, and then feel yuck about myself. I am out for work 2/3 times a week and do dress more smartly but then I have to come home and walk the dog so change again. My poor DH only ever seems to see me in jeans and fleeces these days.

I think the problem is I buy clothes I like but which don't really reflect the lifestyle I have! I am going to go through my wardrobe and make an effort to wear things rather than keep for good. If a night out comes along I shall just have to buy something new!

thoughtsbecomethings · 23/10/2013 16:41

I can so relate to this... Always saving things for best and always live in jeans/ jeggings.

Bumblequeen · 23/10/2013 17:38

I do this as I have a limited wardrobe. I do not buy clothes often enough to dress up just for the sake of it.

I have items strictly for work, casual and going out. I do not allow my clothes to cross over boring but it works for me

I work with women who always dress up but I am sure they buy clothes regularly and if an occasion were to arise they would have access to money to buy a new outfit.

SoldeInvierno · 23/10/2013 18:30

I am just the opposite. When I buy something new, I can't wait to wear it. Sometimes I have even got changed at the shop after paying for it. So I dress up every day, or try to, and on Sundays I dress down. I dont do school runs and I work in an office, so I suppose that makes things easier. But even when I did school runs, I did the same. Classic but well thought. I don't care if people look me up and down. They soon get bored and move on