If you always look perfectly groomed and put together, come here a minute...

[Vix1980]

How do you do it? seriously i mean i'll do my hair then forget about the rest of me so look like a tramp, or ill make an effort with clothes then just throw my hair back, no makeup as i dont always have time with a toddler. Its an actual effort to find something in my wardrobe that actually goes together and then i have to iron it so getting ready takes forever.

I see these people with kids who look perfect, clothes pressed to within an inch of their lives, skin is glowing, hair immaculate (and coloured with no roots ), and they can look super stylish in a pair of leggings! I just dont know how they do it.....

on my good days though - I just wear simple clothes that suit me, and make me feel comfortable, a scarf is always good, and some mascara.

When I am feeling 'chunky' I try to avoid wearing trousers or skinny jeans because I feel worse in them - instead I wear tights and skirt or dress which I think is more flattering.

When it comes to beauty, multi tasking and doing a little each day is essential as I have no time. I do weekly body scrubs, facial mask, defuzzing, hair mask and nails. All are combined with my morning shower so I do something each day.

When it comes to clothes, knowing what I am wearing the night before is important. I make bad decisions in a hurry!

Also knowing your body shape and what colours suit you are so important. I am petite but hour glass and short waisted there are many things that don't suit me! The dressipi website has been really helpful.

Finally, pay as much attention to the accessories as to the clothes. Great accessories can enhance an outfit, poor ones can really detract from one too.

When it comes to beauty, multi tasking and doing a little each day is essential as I have no time. I do weekly body scrubs, facial mask, defuzzing, hair mask and nails. All are combined with my morning shower so I do something each day.

When it comes to clothes, knowing what I am wearing the night before is important. I make bad decisions in a hurry!

Also knowing your body shape and what colours suit you are so important. I am petite but hour glass and short waisted there are many things that don't suit me! The dressipi website has been really helpful.

Finally, pay as much attention to the accessories as to the clothes. Great accessories can enhance an outfit, poor ones can really detract from one too.

I don't ALWAYS look perfectly put together BUT when I organise and plan it makes life a heck if a lot better.

sounds silly too but say if you see accessories (I always used to laugh at (cos I'm crap with it) or admire people who could do this) you like then get them.

an Oasis orange squares and gold statement necklace REALLY works on me and brightens an aqua jumper from there AND black dresses. A gold bird hanging pendant (also Oasis) can be worn with open necked shirts, slouchy fitted jumpers etc... that was in sale too.

get to know what suits you (styles) and stick to it. if you really can't do heels much don't do them.

CTM (face routine) helps - as does makeup.

And you don't have to spend tons to update your look, come here or look in magazines for trends then get e.g. from H&M/Zara. e.g. new top etc.

oh also other details - I saw a girl the other day with big hole in black opaques.... I had to stop myself telling her to replace them! no need to not get a new pair!

oh also if you DO get highlights etc.

get to know a great colourist. mine is known for packing a lot of foils/color into the hair and doing them fine. she also does what I says, breaks up colour etc.

the previous colourist I had was great but sort of made my own mind up for me - re cut/color etc.... which was great but it wasn't what I wanted. I stayed with her what 6-9 months but she was also reasonable.

the same colourist I see now (diff to one above) is same price to other lady, diff salon but I am much happier as she listens.

strange but my colourist now - she has highlights or dyed blonde hair whereas other one didn't maybe that's why current was better than other one?

I have short spiky hair and get it trimmed every 4/6 weeks (it grows slower in winter) while I'm at the hairdressers I also get an eyebrow wax and tidy up and my eyelashes dyed ( its not that expensive'- about £17 for both) and I just tidy up eyebrows in between ) I always paint my toenails and keep my fingernails natural and trimmed and use a buffer to make them shiny ( they are very small and I have small hands and fingers -though the rest of me isnt that much- so they look silly with polish)

oh another good tip if you are old and have crap eyesight in low light like me.. (this is a great one and one day i may actually do it)

Get one of those pens you use to mark name tags on kids clothes and write a big 'N' on the label of your navy tops, camis, leggings, tights, jumpers etc, and 'B' on your black ones ( so much easier when fumbling around on winter mornings trying to get dressed for work..)

Now please can someone tell me how to organise my socks so I get those right also ?

Joan : I agree totally! I've just learnt to sew basic shift dresses! Made first one tho zip so so difficult but it v liberating ! Just add cardi a d done! My cutting and sewing is never going to be good like Hobbs tayloring a d I'm v impatient but wot a joy to choose fabric and a million weeks later you have a frock you have made! Go for it if I can do it anyone can !

sunday I really liked your post, I agree that someone wouldn't look perfectly groomed if they were eating in the street, you can't look good eating unless your are sat down at a table, plus standing/walking isn't good for your digestion.

It does make me laugh that this is the style and beauty topic but people often suggest "do what you want", "wear what you want" when people ask for advise, even when these things are clearly not in the least bit stylish... Sorry been wanting to get that off my chest for awhile ;)

sunday I also really like your post. The points wee well made and very helpful. Makes a lot of sense. I tend to agree eating in the street is not the most flattering thing to do but I understand people are pushed for time so; any port in a storm I guess.

All good stuff here. My main problem is... (and I'm not going for the sympathy vote here) is that I'm not good looking at all. Not exactly ugly, but not pretty in the least. No amount of creams or scrubs can fix that one. Maybe a bee keepers net?

nicename - I refuse to believe that. You must have some good points. perhaps you have stunning hair etc...

Some people I know are plain - you can either tart yourself up like an ex friend of mine (she was told by another friend she dressed for men) and trowel on loads of makeup, and colour/style your hair - nothing wrong with what she did but she was plain. Or you can embrace your plainness like another friend did and just rarely wear makeup or colour your hair. she looks fine.

TBH me - I am told that I am pretty, very pretty even by others (slaps self for being vain) but I find I have to highlight my hair to make me brighter and wear makeup so I look better. Others may disagree but that's how I see it. Oh and I don't see myself as that attractive - I see tons of women who are better looking than I am, but that's my perception.

oh and beauty is in the eye of the beholder!

I'm a sunday fan too. I would also add that smoking in the street looks dreadful too

I've learned so much from this great thread - thanks OP!

This is such a great thread. I have been wondering the same thing! At playgroup I'd say 70% of ladies struggle with young children and don't make much effort and then there's 30% who look fab and I do wonder how they do it.

I think it's a) money b) how much 'me' time you're able to get in order to groom! and c) whether you think you deserve to use up that time purely on you.

I struggle with C) - when I get the time I deep clean the house or spend time doing something for someone else.

"How to Look Stylish with Babysick down your top" by Katie Hopkins. NOT

I'm not a mummy but me and my singleton girlfriends SALUTE and applaud all you mums especially working mums. I find it hard enough getting myself up and dressed in mornings god knows what it's like with a baby.

Thankyou for the sites mentioned on here, ive just spent an hour on the dressipi one and it came back with clothes for my shape, and i loved every single piece! so happy that im on the right track!

Was violently sick yesterday (dont worry stayed inside, didnt throw up in the street ) so stayed in bed all day, but made up for it today, ive dyed hair, filed and polished nails, had a bit of a trying on session and got rid of things I now know looks stupid on my shape.

Loving the tips about doing 1 thing each day in the shower too, think i could keep up with that!

Just to add that I have a few really groomed friends who happen to be French or Italian and they always, always have the nicest coat, bag and shoes they can afford and they always look ' dressed' I think you can get away with having cheaper jeans/trousers and tops with a gorgeous pair of shoes/boots.
Also agree with above about having clean hair/ clothes, filed nails, etc
I also check weather for the next day and getmy clothes out night before.
And I know it's hard to fit it all in with family life, but it's worth the effort to feel better about yourself I think

Vix you nearly made me spit out my tea with "accessorise with mashed banana handprints"!

Got me thinking though... the only things I accessorise with these days are finger paint blotches and baked beans!

sunday is right, the brief was 'groomed and put together.'

It's impossible to be those things and eat in the street, all that dribbling and snatching before it falls and bits all over one's clothes.

You can do it, of course. It's just not chic.

Make sure your clothes FIT. Nothing less groomed that straining seams, gaping waistbands, too-tight clothes or slopping about in too-big ones.

So I was ready for the world this morning:

Kitchen/dining room tidied last night so I didn't walk into chaos

All clothes laid out last night, incl jewellery

DS roused early as he always dawdles

Breakfast sorted - easy, not over complicated.

Checklist for DS next to door - which he actually checked without prompting, so remembered to grab his homework book before we left the house (yay!!!!)

Put on some slap, took time to do hair and face

Leisurely walk to school. Coffee in travel mug

Now off to work, ipod on, happy with the world (Public Enemy, dontcha mess with me!)

nicename have an amazing day! Well done you :)

yep nicename - that's the way to do it, go you!

I might take up ironing as an excuse to watch the whole series of breaking bad.
I don't know anyone who is so keen on being groomed and put together that they'd refuse to eat in the street, for this I am glad because I'd disgust you and you'd annoy the bejesus out of me with your fussiness.

Yes, I think having that 15 mins extra in the am is essential.

I know it's not very stylish, but I try and wear a uniform - black, with bright accessories.
Or navy, with white and hot pink. I have a lot of scarves and gloves.

In the summer I have different dresses and wear sandals and a cardi.

I'm a winter in winter, (pale, (rather uninteresting and sallow if im wrecked) skin green/ grey eyes dark hair) and when I change my hair colour(lighter) and have a tan and wear bronzer, I'm a summer.

My summer wardrobe is more pastel, I can even wear corals, and have a summer makeup palate too.

Winter palate is strong colours and high contrasts, so I have simple make up for that, no muddy brown/ golden shades and I tend to stick to grey / navy eyeliner from clarins, a pinker blush and a brighter lip.
I never have to think of my make up. Just slap it on!

Hair is something I do spend a bit of time on, wash every second day and blast with dryer, then style in rollers when getting everything else together. Then take out rollers. No time for a wash? I blast dry shampoo. Try and get a non perfumed one and use a drop of aromatherapy oil instead.

Yes to the blast of hairspray to keep style there, not to cement it into a helmet.

I have a tube of hand creme and cuticle butter from burt bees under my pillow and use it every night, as I'm just dropping off. I put it on my toes too.

I also put the plug in when I'm showering, and soften all the skin on my feet, so when I dry them, I'm exfoliating. I also put a few drops of tea tree, or other zingy oil into the shower tray so I get an aromatherapy shot!

But really I think the people who look all pulled together are just lucky:lucky to get sleep, or lucky that their kids don't need too much carrying around, or just lucky they don't bulge and swell throughout the month, or sweat!

Or maybe they're narcissistic bitches, who tie their little ones into the high chair, or dump them in the playpen until they sort themselves out!!!

I think we all do our best, and we need try to be kind to ourselves during the mashed babana, low sleep, baby and toddler years. They don't last forever, and if we eat well, and try and get our exercise to stay fit, and remember to stand tall, we'll survive!