Help me get back into having a semblance of 'grooming' about me please...!

[misreadings]

Am hoping one of you experts will be able to help someone who feels in dire need of help. I'm a few months into a hideous divorce which has been the most stressful time of my life. Since the start of the year I have piled on the weight (almost 2 stone ) and although I'm desperate to get it off just can't seem to get inspired. My clothes don't fit me (seriously, I have hardly anything which fits) and I am shorter of cash than I think I've been for years

I also think that I need to be thinking more about general 'self-care' and less about watching the scales, because in general I've been on the edge of just about coping and feel as though everything's gone to pot.

Does anyone have any recommendations to books which focus on sorting oneself out a bit in general (am thinking grooming, looking after oneself a bit, making time for ME and not just whirling about all day trying to make sure everyone else is okay) and maybe a plan for improvement? So need a boost right now!

Thanks in advance.x

I'd start by ignoring the scales for now. You sound like you're under enough pressure at the minute as it is and beating yourself up about your weight on top of that will just make you feel even crapper. Work out which basic wardrobe bits you need to sort you out a few outfits for the time being IE: do you need jeans/dresses/skirts/tops? Get properly fitted for a bra if you haven't already. There's loads of bra threads you can ask advice on if you aren't sure how to measure yourself properly. Buy some cheap scarves to brighten up your outfits, Primark have loads and loads of different styles and colours priced at around £4 each

Then, find a skincare regime that works for you if you don't have one. Cleanse and moisturise every night and use eye cream. It won't make a magic difference straight away but over a period of a couple of weeks you will see the difference. Have your hair cut/coloured depending on what you can afford and spend some time playing with styles to find something easy to manage. Pluck or have your eyebrows threaded or waxed. It makes a massive difference to your face. Finally, get into the habit of wearing a little make up (however much you feel comfortable in) and perfume each day, just going to a little effort each day will make you feel inclined to keep making an effort.

Lastly, do it all for YOU. Don't dress or groom for anyone but you because you deserve to feel good and to feel good about yourself

Sorry to hear you've had such a rough time. I would focus on getting a good nights sleep, drinking plenty of water and eating 3 sensible meals a day.
Can you build some exercise into your lifestyle? Brisk walking is a good starting point. Exercise will also help you feel better generally.
Set some time aside for a nice bubble bath and do general grooming - shaving, hair treatment, face pack, exfoliate etc...
I wouldn't buy lots of new clothes. As the stress subsides, so too may your weight. But maybe a few bits you can rotate that do fit. Try Asda or Sainsburys.

I'm in a similar position, but I really let myself go while I was married. Once I started divorce proceedings I took myself in hand. So the first thing was a decent hair cut and colour. I try to maintain it, sometimes I might have to go an extra month between cut and colour if finances don't allow, but I always wash and style my hair every morning. I also always keep my eyebrows in check now.

I have an epilator so for five minutes or so every morning before I get into the shower I run it over my legs. One year hair free this week - first time in my adult life I've managed to maintain smooth legs EVER.

And I always put on makeup every morning. While I was married I was so unhappy I couldn't actually look at myself in the mirror, so never wore make up. Now I do this for me, foundation, blusher, eye shadow and mascara. Really gives me a lift for the day. I've realised I quite enjoy experimenting with different looks.

I did invest in new clothes, not too many because funds are short, but a couple of pairs of nice jeans, tops, and skirts. I don't look a scruff when I go out these days, and more importantly I don't feel dowdy. I found Gap sale was good for me.

I make sure I really cleanse my face on a night and I do a glycolic acid face peel once a week, use Australian Gold etc. My skin is looking the best it ever has.

And this week (a year post split) I started taking tennis lessons. I had a great time, got myself moving, met some really nice people who I think I could become friends with. Basically, I've got to stop hiding in the house and do something for myself. For the next 12 months, I'm going to make sure that there is more to my life than DCs and work. I'm going to do something for me.

This is something I've put together over the course of the last year and not necessarily overnight. It helps me to feel good about myself and gives me the confidence to go out and take the world by the balls. Think of one thing you want to do at a time, address it, take time to get comfortable with it and then move onto the next thing.

For me it was my nails. During the day I couldn't see my face or hair but I could see my hands, so when I was feeling crap about my splitting up I had a strong sense of pride in making sure my nails were looking fantastic.

Whether you have natural or false ones, having a manicured finish to your hands really makes a difference in looking groomed.

If you intend to lose weight then buying clothes can wait. Buy some nice accessories that you enjoy looking at and touching.

Thanks for all the replies! I'll have to reply properly tomorrow; have an unexpected medical situation going on with one of the DC - looks like we might be off to A&E in a minute!