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Original poster

Just found out that exHs parents have requested no black at his funeral

20 replies

ThreeDaughtersLoveSandwiches · 21/09/2013 15:34

I was thinking of buying the DDs a formula 1 t-shirt (he was a huge motor sport fan) and putting it with a pair of smart jeans?

Would this be suitable, black would have been so much easier!

OP posts:
RevoltingPeasant · 21/09/2013 15:36

Flowers Sorry for your loss, and your DD's.

I went to a Quaker wedding last year where it was no black. The deceased lady loved yellow, so I wore that. It made it about her. On that logic, I think your choice is really personal and lovely.

How old are DDs, and what do they think they would like to wear?

MrsCampbellBlack · 21/09/2013 15:37

I'm not sure - how old is DD?

I've been to some funerals where it was 'no black' and people just wore smart clothes in other colours.

Sorry for your and your daughter's loss.

WafflyVersatile · 21/09/2013 15:37

If they have requested no black then I would think that whatever the attendees are most comfortable in that is not black will be fine, within reason.

That sounds just fine for your DDs, a nod to something their father enjoyed.

I'm sorry for your loss. Thanks

MrsCampbellBlack · 21/09/2013 15:38

I really wouldn't do jeans though - that just doesn't seem right at a funeral to me. But I may be old-fashioned.

SanityClause · 21/09/2013 15:40

Run it by his parents?

missmartha · 21/09/2013 15:44

I was at a funeral last month that requested that attendees didn't wear black as it was going to be a celebration.

I wore navy trousers and cerise top. All the women wore jollier clothes than we normally would. I think a child in jeans would be fine.

DH went mad and didn't wear a tie.

KatieScarlett2833 · 21/09/2013 15:46

I was at a funeral last week and it was requested we all wear bright colours to celebrate her life.
We did but TBH it felt wrong mourning in a bright red dress Hmm

Original poster
ThreeDaughtersLoveSandwiches · 21/09/2013 15:51

DDs are 11, 5 and 3.

ExH was very much a jeans or work trousers kind of person and anything remotely formal made him feel uncomfortable.

Normally the younger 2 DDs want to wear dresses or leggings and the older isn't really fused what she wears.

OP posts:
CatAmongThePigeons · 21/09/2013 15:53

How do the DC feel about wearing it? I think if they're comfortable with the idea then I would let them wear that. If not let them wear what they feel comfortable in.

Original poster
ThreeDaughtersLoveSandwiches · 21/09/2013 15:53

His parents are on holiday until a couple of days before the funeral and I don't really want to bother them with this as they are understandably devastated.

OP posts:
Pachacuti · 21/09/2013 15:56

It sounds a good idea to me, but I'd run it by his parents if you are able to do so.

MrsCampbellBlack · 21/09/2013 15:56

Personally I'd go with dresses and leggings as feel this is a 'safer' option.

Is there anyone else you could check with re. what people will be wearing?

I do feel very sorry for you and your daughters.

BackforGood · 21/09/2013 15:59

I would let the dds wear their dresses tbh. I don't think jeans are suitable for a funeral. The 'no black' request is generally because the family want to celebrate his life and have it a more 'cheerful' - ie colourful - occasion but I still think everyone should try to dress relatively smartly.

Original poster
ThreeDaughtersLoveSandwiches · 21/09/2013 16:01

I very good friend of his has been helping his parents a lot so I will run it past him.

Thank you the girls have taken it very well so far, though DD2 is refusing to talk about it.

OP posts:
Crutchlow35 · 21/09/2013 16:10

Yes! Yes, yes. Have them in something they are comfortable wearing and something that means something to them. Doesn't have to mean jack shit to anyone else so the F1 t shirts are fine.

Who says you have to be smart. Who says it has to be black. Go with your first thought and I am sorry for your family's loss.

goodasitgets · 21/09/2013 18:52

I recently went to a funeral where no black was requested and preferably bright colours
I wore a spotty wrap dress (multi coloured) with leggings and ballet pumps

SundaySimmons · 21/09/2013 19:03

How terribly sad. Because your girls are so young they should wear something they like and feel comfortable in as they don't need any extra upset and worry. Nor do you.

I think blue denim isn't really suitable but coloured trousers are fine if they don't want to wear a dress or skirt.

Far too young to lose their daddy. My thoughts are with you all. Xxx

EndoplasmicReticulum · 21/09/2013 19:07

I think jeans will be fine.

My dad and my husband both wore jeans to my grandad's funeral recently. He would not have minded at all.

Original poster
ThreeDaughtersLoveSandwiches · 21/09/2013 21:00

What about there outfits

DD1 (11)

www.next.co.uk/g492414s4
www.next.co.uk/g492414s5
www.next.co.uk/g492414s2

DD2 (5)

www.next.co.uk/g492484s1

DD3 (3)

www.next.co.uk/x52724s10 - the pink dress and purple cardigan

I think I might be over thinking it.

OP posts:
ModeratelyObvious · 21/09/2013 21:03

Those Next outfits look nice if the DDs would like them.

Sorry for your loss Flowers

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