Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Style and beauty

Looking for style advice? Chat all about it here. For the latest discounts on fashion and beauty, sign up for Mumsnet Moneysaver emails.

Flip

Original poster

Help! Black tie at Academic Dinner, no dancing, what do I wear??

20 replies

HerbPlot · 17/08/2013 17:47

So, dinner for the retirement of a Bishop being held at an Oxbridge College. What does black tie (for women) mean in that context? I assume full length is not required? But how dressy should one be? I live in dresses, but not generally for this sort of occasion.

OP posts:

DuPainDuVinDuFromage · 17/08/2013 17:59

You could probably get away with most kinds of dress (or top and skirt, or possibly even smart trousers) and if there are any undergrads there you won't need to worry about being the person with the shortest skirt! Personally, I would go with a smart cocktail type of dress - definitely no need for full-length. Enjoy the dinner!

Diamondcassis · 17/08/2013 17:59

Smart, a dress ideally, evening/cocktail/short/maxi/long - all will be worn so choose whichever you wish. Even a day dress accessorised with jewellery, heels & hair up would be fine if you don't want to buy new.

SniffAndMoomintroll · 17/08/2013 18:07

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

HerbPlot · 17/08/2013 18:32

Oh, well that all sounds promising. I was thinking of this:

www.bravissimo.com/pepperberry/products/sale/dresses/occasion-and-party-dresses/drape-jersey-dress/black/pd136blk/?level=1&page=3

which I have in dark red. The Dinner is in December.

OP posts:

MadBusLady · 17/08/2013 20:08

I'd say that would be perfect. You could go more glam/revealing if you wanted but there's really no need. There won't be much flesh on show on the top table.

Original poster

HerbPlot · 17/08/2013 20:31

Oh, do you think that's a bit covered up? Is it too frumpy? It does show a bit of cleavage with me in it! If I have sleeveless I'll want to cover them up.

OP posts:

smeraldina · 17/08/2013 20:32

Last black-tie Oxbridge 'event' dinner I went to (last year) most women were wearing long dresses/long skirts but this may well be because the average age was 60 plus. Myself and younger colleague (in our 30s) wore knee length cocktail style dresses. I felt fine - nobody minds what you wear ... Normal high table black tie is less formal (never seen a long dress worn) but a retirement dinner is a but more of an event ... But generally in the world of academic evening wear just do as you please ... Hope you have a lovely night

smeraldina · 17/08/2013 20:34

Cross post. Not frumpy at all. I'd put a necklace with a bit of sparkle and good heels and you will look fab

smeraldina · 17/08/2013 20:50

Or even, younger colleague and I ....

smeraldina · 17/08/2013 20:50

Or even 'younger colleague and I'

SniffAndMoomintroll · 17/08/2013 22:01

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

polyhymnia · 17/08/2013 22:36

I think that looks fine and would be quite suitable. Am assuming the cleavage isn't very low.

chocoshopoholic · 18/08/2013 08:42

I bought this a few years ago: www.coast-stores.com/jocasta-dress/all-clothing/coast/fcp-product/2143411680?lng=&ctry=GB

Haven't felt out of place in it. Like the higher neckline for work functions, and can be worn with a jacket/scarf to cover shoulders.

Original poster

HerbPlot · 18/08/2013 08:58

Oh, dear . So, I have to show more of my (unattractive) arms and less of my (rather good) cleavage?! I would never wear a high neckline, I have curves and they are best shown off otherwise I look frumpy. I wouldn't mind an excuse to buy something though.... but hate shiny material which a number of these dresses seem to come in.

OP posts:

Xiaoxiong · 18/08/2013 09:54

I would absolutely wear that dress in red, I think that looks very suitable.

The last black-tie academic dinner I went to, the very eminent lady across from me was swathed in multiple layers of what looked like sackcloth, strings of wooden beads, and trainers. Another was in a man's tweed jacket (too big in the shoulders), a broadcloth shirt buttoned up to the neck, calf-length chiffon pleated skirt and big clompy black shoes with buckles. I felt rather out of place in a LBD and heels!

MadBusLady · 18/08/2013 10:17

Agree with Xiaoxiong. This is really not an occasion that requires a Coast cocktail dress to fit in. I think that jersey dress will put you at the more elegant end of things. These people are bizarre. And I say that from a place of love

ISingSoprano · 18/08/2013 10:26

I think your dress sounds ideal. Particularly as others have said with heels, jewellery, hair and nails. If you don't like your arms don't be pressured into revealing them - you need to feel good to look good!

polyhymnia · 18/08/2013 11:02

Have been to lots of these things and agree 100% that the dress you suggest is ideal and much better for the occasion than a Coast cocktail dress which I think would be well OTT.
You certainly don't need to show more of your arms either.

Original poster

HerbPlot · 18/08/2013 11:21

Thanks all. I would only ever wear something I actually liked and felt confident in, and by the time you get to 40 you do at least know what suits. I just don't want to make some massive faux pas. (Now hankering after new dress anyway though....... )

OP posts:

MadBusLady · 18/08/2013 11:59

I've just realised it was me sent you into the spiral of self-doubt by saying you could wear something more revealing if you wanted. Sorry about that! I just meant if you had a tremendous yen to go sleeveless or short then that wouldn't be a problem. But you don't, so don't There will be a huge variation of outfits and I think you will feel very well put together in that.

Flip