Funeral tomorrow - make-up etiquette?

[NomDeOrdinateur]

Hmm, left this a bit late! My make-up generally leans towards the gothic (black eyeliner, deep magenta lipstick, dusky rose blush, pale face), but I'm reading at my Great Aunt's funeral tomorrow and I've just twigged that it may not be completely appropriate. I'm wearing a pretty and very conservative dress (it looks like something Audrey Hepburn would have worn), but I don't really "do" conservative formal make-up.

Should I tone it down for the day by swapping my lipstick for Carmex/getting rid of the eyeliner/wearing a warmer blush? I should add that it'll be the first time I've seen many of my family members since I was a kid/moody teenager, and I'm in my early 20s now!

Ha my sister has just text me and asked if her bright pink nail varnish is ok for my nans funeral tomorrow!

I personally think that if it's you, it's you. Make yourself up in the way that you feel comfortable and yourself.

I don't think you have to necessarily get rid of the eyeliner, but if it is heavy, tone it down. A fifties style face with natural lips and blush would be perfectly fine, and in line with the style of dress you're wearing. You don't have to look like a completely different person, but if your makeup is extreme you may want to just hold back a bit in respect of the occasion and mourners.

I would. Keep it alas neutral/natural as poss.

Foundation to match your skin tone (ie not too pale)
Subtle blush
Mascara
Eyebrows if you do them.
Neutral mauvey/peachy lip

Day is about your Great Aunt, so focus should be on her.

Sorry for your loss

Thank you both - this is the first family funeral I've been old enough to attend, so I really appreciate the advice! Based on what you've said, I'll stick to my usual look but use a much lighter hand than normal - maybe I can blend a little bit of the magenta lipstick with my lip balm to get a subtle gloss effect...

Thanks for the good wishes, Angus. I'm sorry about your nan, Littlemissnormal - all the best for tomorrow.

Thanks, and you. X

How upset are you? If there's any chance of crying, tone down the eyeliner and wear waterproof mascara.

I tend to sob copiously at funerals (the more I go to, the worse I am), so I either avoid mascara altogether, or wear waterproof, to avoid the panda look.

Oooh, more replies! Thank you, Iatemyskinnyperson () and TheFillyjonk - that sounds achievable whilst still looking like me, as long as I keep a smidge of eyeliner. The reason I was unsure of what to do is that I don't want to stand out/feel self-conscious due to looking so different from how I normally would when "dressed up", but I think I can work with the above.

Are you likely to get tearful? There may be a practical reason to tone down the eyeliner for the service - you can put it on before a wake.

I hope it goes well, and that you and your family find comfort in a good send off.

Ophelia - that's a point, actually... I think I've done all of my crying, but I know my nan will be devastated tomorrow and seeing her like that will probably set me off again. I hadn't thought about that - my eye-makeup is definitely waterproof, but I'lll need to swap my normal foundation for my emergency bottle of DoubleWear. Thanks for the warning!

Thank you for the good wishes and the advice, meditrina.

Having thought more carefully about the crying thing, I think I'll probably bring some wipes and my make-up bag in the car in case I need to redo things before the wake.

Mumsnet is brilliant for first-time experiences like this - thank you all so much for helping me!

How did it go nom?

It was okay, thank you, Ophelia - the service was beautiful, and I met some really lovely family members who I'd never normally have had chance to see . My Great Aunt's carers took the morning off in order to attend, which I found really touching.

I'm very grateful to you and the other posters who warned me about eye makeup and crying, though. I got upset halfway through and would have looked a complete mess at the wake if your comments hadn't prompted me to bring my makeup bag and go easy on the eyeliner!