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Style and beauty

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Original poster

So, when someone tells you that you look well

72 replies

MrsCampbellBlack · 09/08/2013 16:23

What do you think they mean?

Because, for me it means I look fat. Now is this just me and my own family weirdness regarding weight or is anyone else the same?

OP posts:

neriberi · 09/08/2013 16:28

for it means that I've stopped looking so damn ill! I have health problems and look like a ghost most of the time, if I'm told I look well I usually take it to mean that I looked like shite the last time they saw me.

people aren't good with compliments, its like the word "nice" I can't stand that word, no idea why, but I find it mildly insulting if my DH tells me I look nice I automatically ask whats wrong with what I'm wearing

bonzo77 · 09/08/2013 16:32

That I look fat.

libertychick · 09/08/2013 16:32

Gosh complete opposite here! If people tell me I look well I assume I must look slim. And I tell people they look well when I genuinely think they look good regardless of weight loss or gain. I don't like to comment too much when people have lost weight as I think it might imply I thought they looked bad before. That could be my own weirdness though - I was very heavy in my 20's and I when I came down to a more normal weight I used to feel a bit narked when people went on and on about it - it was just a bit a weight loss - some of my family and friends reacted as if I had just won the Oscars or a Noble prize!

Dackyduddles · 09/08/2013 16:32

Yup put some poundage on...

Casmama · 09/08/2013 16:33

I tend to think it means I'm wearing colours that suit me or I have a bit of a tan. Don't tend to associate it with weight at all.

timidviper · 09/08/2013 16:37

liberty I am with you, I hate it when people say "Ooh you've lost weight, you look fantastic", I am always tempted to ask if I looked awful before!

As a larger woman I generally take it as a compliment re skin, hair, clothes or losing weight

libertychick · 09/08/2013 16:38

Yikes - I am now starting to worry that I am insulting people without meaning too - is 'you look well' really code for 'you look fat' in some circles???

libertychick · 09/08/2013 16:39

neriberi · 09/08/2013 16:40

I am now starting to worry that I am insulting people without meaning too - is 'you look well' really code for 'you look fat' in some circles???

I was just starting to wondering that...

ubik · 09/08/2013 16:41

To me, it always means 'you look fat'

dottyaboutstripes · 09/08/2013 16:41

Agreed, I was always under the impression it meant chubby.

Original poster

MrsCampbellBlack · 09/08/2013 16:41

Well you see to me it is. My mother always insisted that's what people meant by it, so I never take it as a compliment. Even if its followed up with 'your hair looks nice' or 'you've got a good tan'.

But I am weight obsessed and fat as butter at the moment so wondered if it was just me.

OP posts:

BanjoPlayingTiger · 09/08/2013 16:42

Erk! I wasn't aware of this code either. I always assumed it meant exactly what it said that the person looked well.

I hope I haven't been inadvertently insulting people.

louiespence · 09/08/2013 16:44

I am with liberty here, as I would say this as a compliment and am now worried that I have been offending people!

libertychick · 09/08/2013 16:45

Flipping heck ubik!!! really????? Feeling v v perturbed....it's one of my stock phrases, having a vision now of juniors in my team sobbing in the toilets because they think I keep telling them they are fat

Original poster

MrsCampbellBlack · 09/08/2013 16:46

I guess in my head, 'well' just puts me in mind of well upholstered older lady.

But seriously, I may be ever so slightly over thinking this

I mean I had my botox top-up a few weeks back, it may have been my fresh face she was commenting on

OP posts:

libertychick · 09/08/2013 16:49

MrsCB I have seen you on your blog - you are categorically not as fat as butter (really like that phrase BTW!!!) in fact you are not remotely close to fat.

Now help me understand, is this translation of the word 'well' into 'fat' a cultural or class thing by any chance....

dottyaboutstripes · 09/08/2013 16:49

I also got this from my mother. But she was always telling me how fat I was so I'm ever so slightly obsessed too (I managed to go from size 20 to size 10 so now I get told I'm too small - cant win)

ZolaBuddleia · 09/08/2013 16:49

But, why would you tell a fat person that they look fat?!

I'm a chubber and people have said it to me when I've lost some weight, or I'm dressed well and being energetic and perky.

libertychick · 09/08/2013 16:50

Yep it was the fresh face - definitely

Original poster

MrsCampbellBlack · 09/08/2013 16:57

You see I don't think people really say 'you look well' when they mean 'lordy you chubster' - its just how I have been conditioned to interpret it.

Well actually, if my mother said I looked well - she would mean you fat chubster.

OP posts:

noddyholder · 09/08/2013 16:59

Like you mrs cb my mum wouldn't even say well would go straight to fat! But other than her I would feel I looked relaxed and happy

ubik · 09/08/2013 17:00

I've a memory of someone saying it to me at a party, years ago, after I had..er.. enjoyed a particularly bountiful christmas and was showing it on my stomach and backside.

maybe she thought I was pregnant

libertychick · 09/08/2013 17:02

Ahhh see it's so much easier in families like mine where on one infamous Christmas when I was 14 two of my uncles discussed at length how 'stout' young Liberty had become over the previous year - no room for misinterpretation whatsoever

neriberi · 09/08/2013 17:04

the next time someone tells me I look well I'm actually going to ask if they think I've plumped up!

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