Help me be young?

[suchawimp]

And feminine would be good too!

I am 27 and stuck in a rut. I have PCOS and am about 4 / 5 stones overweight. So hairy, unfeminine, and about a 16/18. Short too.

I wear black trousers and a top for work each day and jeans and t shirt on a week end.

I don't really have any nice clothes. Seems pointless at my size as I just don't like how I look.

I just feel so old!!

I saw a cute coral nail polish and thought it would look nice on my finger nails but then worried that it was too young for me or that it would be too bold or that someone would notice that I was making an effort.

It just feels like I have given up on myself and that I am not worth the effort. I mean I can wear lipstick but I still won't be pretty so is there any point.

:(

Oh now really, listen here. You could buy the most amazing, quality products or clothes and still think you look like crap because your confidence levels are so low.

So don't sweat the small stuff (nails) unless it has a really impact on making you feel more confident. I've been there - I couldn't even start enjoying how I looked until I made new friends, swapped glasses for contacts, cut and dyed my hair a more flattering style, got a good job, found fun hobbies MN etc. etc. so you need to work on what YOU enjoy, both inside and out, and not stress about what the majority of us thinks "looks good".

Once you stop giving a shit about what other people might think (and it's INCREDIBLY hard to stop worrying, but you can get there by doing confidence-building stuff), then choosing what you like to wear will get easier.

Pcos is crap so I can see why your confidence has been sapped. However. Size 16 is the average in the UK so you are no different from many many women. You sound very unhappy, forgive me for sounding a bit airyfairy but you will never be happy until you learn to love yourself. That nail polish sounds lovely, go back and buy it. It will be a small confidence booster cos you can look at it and say, I can do this! Please try to adjust your way of thinking about yourself. I'm sure your gp is treating the pcos? Don't let her/him fob you off.
I am 53 and here's what I've learned. Nobody else gives a sh1t about how you look, they are too busy worrying about how they look! 27 is young. Black trousers are a great basic to build a wardrobe around. Lastly, give yourself a break and be kind to yourself. Get a few quid together and take a day to go shopping, have a leisurely browse and a bit of lunch. When shopping, hold items up to your face and consider whether the colour brightens your complexion or deadens it. Consider what type of neckline flatters you, vneck or round etc.
You will get there but your glass is half empty at present; try to see it as half full instead. Good luck.

My daughters have PCOS too one of them is a size 16/18. She was referred by her GP to a dermatologist who in turn referred her for laser hair removal on NHS .It was a great success and really boosted her self esteem. Invest in a good foundation worth spending extra as you can then economise on things like blusher etc. a little bit of lippy can brighten your face and your day ! :) :)

Oh lovely, you ARE young! You sound very down on yourself, but you obviously have an instinct to make little improvements and I think it's a good instinct. That's the healthy inner you nudging you towards coral nail varnish Looking good is just a series of little incremental improvements, and it IS daunting/offputting to think about it all at once. So start small - buy the varnish and wear it on your toes at first where it's less noticeable (or even not visible). Give your feet a going over with a nice foot scrub. Then when you're used to having nice, cared for feet, see how you feel about something bigger, like a good foundation or some new tops.

Also very much agree with investigating the laser hair removal if that's a possibility.

Try the GP for laser hair removal, I have heard of them paying for it with PCOS. That would help a lot. It is much harder for you to lose weight but it is possible so don't give up on yourself. Make sure your hair and teeth look good and do the best you can every day with what you've got. Smile, and invest some time and money into looking good. You might be surprised at how lovely you can be.

I did go to my GP as the hair and having to shave was really impacting on me. I hate looking in the mirror and I hate people looking at me. I asked about laser hair removal as it would be amazing not to have to shave my face like a man. The GP said that the NHS isn't there to fund vanity projects.

Bl**dy hell, that makes me fume! Try another GP, I think. Is there a friendly and more sympathetic one at the practice you go to? Or can you switch practices?? Clearly explain that the pcos symptoms are effecting your self-esteem and limiting you socialising etc. Pcos symptoms can cause depression - it's not 'normal' to have to shave. Pcos is clearly causing it and worrying about it is not at all vain. Good luck...

What your GP said is unacceptable. Do go ask another GP. You deserve much better care than that. And do paint your nails. If it makes you smile / amuses you/ looks pretty to you, it's a good thing and you are worth it.

suchawimp,you shouldn't feel this way about yourself, you are still very young,pcos can be treated or controlled,with some medication,and yes you should see another gp,I'm sure you are entitled to laser treatment since the excessive hair growth is causing you great distress.
You shouldn't give up.

What an ignorant GP! Change and while you're at it, put in a complaint about this one. His response is unacceptable. Find a competent GP and explain clearly that you are deeply unhappy and you want to sort this problem out as its affecting every aspect of your life. Do not be fobbed off. Well done you for wanting to sort this out. Most of us look very average first thing in the morning, but a little bit of lippy and some nail polish is a good start, and some well-fitting clothes in flattering colours/ shapes. Please don't give up, you really are very young and you deserve to be happy!!