Frumpy and ugly and fat! Help

[loopyloou]

We have just had a photo taken at work which will appear in the local paper and I can't believe how fat and frumpy I look

I'm only just under a stone overweight, but didn't hold my stomach in. My hair is a frizzy mess and my teeth also look awful.

I need a complete makeover, but have no money really.

Probably a haircut would be the place to start, but I always think it suits me better when it's long, so it's a matter Of letting it grow. At the moment it's shoulder length. It doesn't suit me straightened either.

Clothes wise I have few work clothes as I'm only meant to work very part time but seem to constantly provide holiday/sickness cover at the moment.

Teeth - again I can't afford the work I need, but also have a bit of a dentist phobia. I have several gaps, one quite near the front where the bridge fell out 4 years ago and I haven't been back to have it refitted. I have an appointment booked in September, but can't afford the work tight now.

What does everyone do to make themselves feel better/smarter?

Find which colour really suits you and buy a new top (or scarf) in that colour. For me it's cream. Every time I wear cream, I get told how well or radiant I look, no matter how stressed or exhausted I really am!

Also, when I'm having a bad hair day, I spend as little time on it as possible and spent the extra time perfecting my outfit and make-up. It usually works and I end up feeling more confident.

Just come back from a long weekend away with DH. Am shocked by the photos. I seem to have aged drastically, in the past ten months. Lots of stress and too much wine (consolation).

Watching, with interest, as I have no advice to give. Sorry.

It's not helped by the fact that my colleague stood next to me is always immaculate and is also very petite!

Even though you're growing your hair, still get it cut: a stylist can give it some shape and sort out the ends if they're split, which will only exacerbate the frizz.

If you want a cheap haircut, look out for Groupon etc deals, or try your local beauty college.

I had my hair cut only four weeks ago, and coloured. They made a right mess of it. So definitely not having it cut again.

Thanks VitaminC. I just don't know what colour suits me. I also don't wear a lot of makeup as I have skin problems and react often to makeup. I've tried so many different brands, after a while they all seem to make the skin around my eyes sore and flaky - not a good look either. Also, even if I could wear it, I'm useless at applying it because I so rarely wear more than a touch of mascara.

Now I'm really feeling sorry for myself ...

I wish I had the money for a personal stylist . Sadly dh out of work so can't really spend much at all.

I think the real problem is my clothes. I don't know what suits me, struggle to find clothes that flatter but are comfortable all day. Even black trousers - I have a thick waist and small bum so they are always tight round the waist, but baggy on the bum! I haven't got time to go into town to try things on, so rely on Internet ordering.

I struggle to find tops or dresses that flatter, preferably loose fitting, but not like a maternity smock! I don't wear dark colours unless with a white/cream pattern.

Go to www.insideoutstyleblog.com and read about different body shapes, styles and colouring etc.

Then read the Putting Me Together blog to learn how to work your wardrobe...

I'm sure you'll figure out a style you feel confident with from all that!

Thanks, looks interesting.

Today I have straightened my hair and feel like a different person. As long as I don't smile ...

I think I need to sort my teeth out! Anyone know anything about bridges?

Some simple fixes:

Get hydrated - drink plenty of water
Build exercise into your day - walk to work, take the stairs, go for a walk with your children, do 5 minutes of step ups on your stairs during ad breaks on TV
Get enough sleep (childcare dependent, I suppose). Being well-rested makes you look better
Avoid loose, flowing clothes which make you look bigger than you are - think close-fitting but not tight

Teeth - check out what is available on the NHS?

Makeup - is there a department store near you? Try one of the less intimidating makeup counters (Bobbi Brown, Mac, Clinique) and see if they'll do a mini makeover for you. Save up enough to buy one product, eg eye pencil to try out the new look; add to it bit by bit. They might be willing to give you a test sample of makeup to see if it reacts or not.

If you have a university that teaches dentistry near you they sometimes have cheap or free dentistry available - the students do the work, but all work is overseen by the tutors (the treatment is good, but just takes a bit longer). Hope this helps

Thanks Hell and Berry.

Live in small town, no chance of getting into larger town at present no uni close by, no department store, just small Boots. I did go to department stores a month or do back for foundation, got Clinique samples. They are ok for a while, but I think eventually I will react to any makeup, it's just I can wear it for a while, but if wearing eye makeup every day, after a week the skin around my eyes becomes sore and flaky. I've tried No. 7, Clinique, Bare Minerals, Body shop. They all say it'll be fine, but it isn't after a whole.

Sorry , that should say "after a while".

Stop wishing you were what you aren't. Start celebrating everything you are, instead. This seems to be a major MN theme this week! Linked from another thread - read this blog ...

... and here's some inspiration :) :)

It's not just the excess weight, Garlic, just in general I feel frumpy and ugly and old. My colleague is 2 years older than me, but always glamorous.

I have never bought clothes that gig properly, am always buying stuff on eBay to save money. I could do with having a few hundred pounds to spend and going somewhere like Debenhams and booking a personal shopper. But I definitely can't afford that at the moment.

I don't have a clue what suits me, no matter how many blogs I read. I strive to find a balance between what looks good, but is comfortable around the waist, where I carry my excess weight.

Are you bigger on top? I find dresses that fit my bust and have a shaped waist work pretty well. Straight skirts with a grown-on waistband, in a size to fit my waist, look fine too. I hoik up my bosom to maximum sticky-out-ness and wear heels. The net effect is similar to my 'thin' shape - athletic; I never did have much of a waist - but enlarged, iyswim.

I've got this skirt in turquoise.

Would something like this work on you?

Thanks Garlic. I'm size 34FF bra, fitted at Bravissimo, so quite large of chest! I only have a couple of dresses, prefer wrap dresses, but they are too revealing for work. I do wear a black pencil skirt, but struggle to find tops that are smart enough for work. Not keen on shirts, only like blouses that are a bit fitted, not too fussy, but a bit feminine.

I struggle to find black trousers that are comfortable, both around the waist and that don't "crotch hug"! I also have no elegant shoes, I can't walk in high heels.

I just have no style

I'm with you on the trousers :( Ones that fit my waist are basically a bit big for me, so they wriggle down during the day giving me an unlikely teenage-boy-gansta look! I wear tie-waisted ones, but flattering they ain't.

34FF??!! Just wear pleated wrap tops & show off your cleavage! No-one will look at your waist!

Sleeveless with frills

Drapey, grey