HELP! I am a 32 year old frump!!! Save me from myself!

[OohMrDarcy]

bit of history first I think - as a teenage / young adult I was a slim, fit and health size 10 - I liked casual clothes, but also wore lots of tight jeans / nice tops - looked generally good....
In the last 10 years I have had 2 babies, 2 cesaereans, a disc bulging repeatedly for about 5 years and a ruined deep core....

I am now at least 4 stone overweight (5.5 to get back to my mega slim / fit past) I have lost all sense of style in favour of comfort, and well basically I look a mess!

I don't have a big budget - which is probably half the problem I guess, my hair isn't cut regularly, my clothes aren't particularly flattering and I need an eyebrow wax

I would really like to start getting back a bit of me- I am starting to lose weight, slowly and gradually - about a stone this year, shape wise, I used to have a completely flat tum, and bigger thighs (muscle from hobby) now... I have even bigger thighs, a really lovely overhang / apron thing from the c-sections, and a protruding tum because of the deep core issues... and I am around a 16-18 depending on shops!

I am 5'4" so not the tallest to carry off the weight, so ideas for really cheap, but flattering outfits / clothes that I might suit would be really really appreciated right now - colourwise, I have brown hair / eyes and have kind of olivey skin - in that it tans easily at least

help me collective power of mumsnet before I have a breakdown

wrap/mock wrap dresses in drapey jersey fabric are your friend. They will skim over any lumps and bumps and define your waist. If they are too low cut, you can pop a vest/cami underneath to protect your modesty.

oh! on the positive side, I am now at least wearing a correctly sized bra (thanks to the famous bra threads!) 38GG

I would love to wear more dresses, but don't feel confident in them - legs rub, and don't like wearing tights all the time

What type of struggling are you wearing at the minute? Have you looked at any of the style blogs?

then what you need are Evans comfort shorts! £8 a pair and they slip on under your dresses and stop the chaffing from your legs rubbing together. They are almost totally seamless so don't show under clothes. I'm shorter than you and they come to just above my knees. They are similar material to tights so they don't leave you too hot. They come in black or nude and in two sizes, I wear size one which stretches from size 16 to 20

Deodorant on your thighs! Works a treat for dresses, and dresses feel nice and cool and free in this weather (and look awesome with boots in winter).

Wips, I work in an office (mostly male) so can be hard to find 'business casual' type clothes.... I generally wear one of two pairs of trousers from matalan - 1 black ribbed type stretchy ones, and one grey with a side zip which is horrendous as my back struggles to twist that way, along with random tops I happen to have - slightly fitted t-shirt type

I want to look a bit more stylish, but not OTT - just a bit more.... together

at home I either wear the same work trousers, or some jeans with similar tops - vest tops in this weather

I have a couple of maxi dresses but not convinced they suit me

will go search on those shorts, thanks OLL

Well you've told us lots about the bits of your body you don't like. What about the bits you do like? What is your best feature?
Ok, we all have bits we want to hide, but to feel better about the way you look, you need to concentrate on accentuating the positive!
The norks sound like a good place to start.......

What about knee length dresses with heels? I have two lovely dresses and when I wear those, I look glam. Rest of time I'm a frump.

Eg a couple like this with smart jackets and shoes. Sorted!

The norks are definitely a ....feature I also like my eyes but wear glasses (not suitable for laser correction) which annoys me....

best feature, definitely the norks and the bit just underneath at the sides- I guess thats where my waist is nowadays!

I love that dress believeitornot, but really not sure it would look even ok on me - its the tum thats the problem... I swear I look pregnant sometimes because of the lack of deep core

oh and I can't really wear heels because of my back problems in the past - nothing beyond an inch and a half - which I do love, but can barely walk in due to lack of practice lately!

Thanks so much ladies, keep the ideas coming

this weekend I have lived in some 3/4 palazzo type trousers in a classy royal blue that I got for a red, white and blue themed day last year, teamed with vest tops

reasonably cool at least, even if a bad look

Have you done any exercises for the core? Did you ever see a physio? Pilates can be helpful or there's a book by somebody Tupler (try amazon).

Do you want or need to wear dresses?

What about on trend jeans - boyfreind fit with flats, next relaxed skinny fir with h&m plain jersey tunics (it apparentky is a dress but...)

Plain robust denim skirt to with summer shoes or tights in autumn...

hiya,

yes have seen Physio, and have exercises but as outer core is ok, its tricky... it is a work in progress!

I generally need high waist jeans to hold the tum together, but will look at those styles, thanks

I'm a similar shape to you (c section overhang here too)... and the same age.

I'm only just trying to get myself back too - like you I used to be a size 10 !

At the moment I am wearing fat face sleeveless tops from eBay (I don't have a large budget either) as the cut of most of their tops are great for skimming over the tummy area... ! I also just discovered primark for some lovely maxi skirts in patterns which I buy a larger size in (so I'm normally 16-18 and I buy a 20) and they hang really nicely.

Papaya from matalan have some lovely sundresses with a focus on your boobs so you can show them off with a good supportive bra - I don't mind straps showing as long as they contrast with the dress so I might wear a pink bra with a pink strappy dress etc.

Yours have a sale on... some nice longer tops and some cropped trousers etc.

As for thighs rubbing together, you need spanx pants orssomething similar. Yours do their own version for £15..brilliant.

Thanks for the tips fairylea, I will check out some of those ideas