What on earth do I wear to a wedding when shitty lymphodoema makes my feet and ankles massive?? really struggling and feeling sad :-(

[doublecakeplease]

Just that really. Summer wedding - posh manor house affair with DH family.

My feet and legs are pretty much permanently swollen so i look vile in anything that shows my legs. I struggle with nice shoes (although i long to wear them) because i need super wide fit.

I feel like an old lady but I'm only 35 and long to look 35 and not 75!

I'm 5'2". Size 16 with 36hh bust (which also make it difficult not to look sack lady ish)

Am i destined ti be the frump hiding in the corner again?

ROAR at Nazi dresses!

Thanks so much everyone for taking the time to search - i really do appreciate it. I'm on my phone at the minute and links aren't working properly. I'll look through every single thing you've all suggested in the morning.

Thanks again - and keep them coming please!

I'd start by going to bravissimo and getting fitted for a new bra. New bra and pants always makes a good "foundation" to build on, whatever you wear will hang better.

If you're worried about heels but want a bit of a lift then how about a low-medium wedge heel? I think a maxi dress can be worn with heels as well as flats.

Really well cut trousers could work well too though.

Don't feel bashful going to a personal shopper it's their job and they are really helpful. We took DH's mum for one for her christmas and she loved it! They get commission from the store so it's in their interests to find something you will love!!

I've seen some women looking extremely stylish wearing flowing floor-lenght silk pajama pants (you can do polyester in a pinch) to formal parties - would really recommend!

Gladiator sandals are v fashionable and there are some very glitzy ones. They would be fine under a maxi dress or loose soft trousers.

Imagine you've just returned from a tropical cruise and put on something loose and flowing, you'll look lush.

And totally get a good bra.

I feel your pain - I have the same thing and it tends to be even worse after a warm day/being on my feet for long periods/alcohol so weddings are a nightmare!
Have no clothing suggestions - I am a size 10 but have the most enormous calves, ankles and feet. I go up 2 shoe sizes when v bad. Much as I love the sun, dressing for Summer makes me sad.
If you can, I would wear lovely shoes with trousers/long skirt/dress but put flip flops in my bag - if yours are like mine, they are the only thing I can get on when my feet swell badly (other than trainers with no laces). Or during the event, if at all possible, put your feet up on a chair under the table to minimise swelling and drink tons of water.
Suggestions re clothes on here sound lovely. Try not to dwell on it - I blame it on a 'since pregnancy been awful' lie! Hope you have a good time.

Signora and Catrin - sorry you're lumbered with it too :-( i feel bad moaning because other people have so much worse but its so limiting and painful. I've had it for years but until the last couple of months docs put it down to water retention. I'm on a waiting list for a clinic.

Thanks so much everyone - i love the jumpsuit, I've NEVER considered one - can they really ok on a size 16 short arse??

Absoloutey! It'll almost certainly need taking up a wee but (to a couple of mm short of floor length, with shoes). Very elegant and not frumpy at all.

How about
blazer
maybe these shoes? is EEE wide enough? Too high?
hat

oh heck, lost th e bag

Can I recommend this, with the promise it looks better on shorter people and a slight heel.

I can't help with the outfit but have exceedingly wide feet and have bought shoes from New look's wide fit range that fit me and are really comfortable (and with a small heel which I can never normally wear). I actually found two nice pairs of shoes that fit me (which never ever happens) but could only afford one pair! So might be worth a try -

also next now do wide fit and extra wide fit although the range in store is small they have more online and the extra wide fit shoes also fit me width wise.

There is another thread on at the moment regarding palazzo pants. worn with a fitted top and high wedge heels( making sure the trousers are long enough to cover the shoe) you would look elegant ,glam, long legged and lovely.

Wow - can't believe how kind you all are (where are the vipers??)

I've wangled a DS free hour and a half tomorrow so I'm off into town with a list from all the links so fingers crossed!

A bit cheeky after all the help so far... I need something to control a wobbly low tummy too - any tips on brands? I have a pair of sucky in knicker shorts from Debenhams which were fab pre DS when i was just a bit chunky but they don't do anything for my apron tummy!