bishboschone I'm so sorry. I am just 7 weeks into my dads death, too, which was very shocking and unexpected after a shirt illness. It does become a head cruncher trying to decide what to wear, because your heart is in bits and it seems at the same time to be so irrelevant. But it isn't. How comfy you feel on that day will matter - and if a pattern relating to his profession has meaning for you, then you are free to indulge in that.
I wanted a posh, silk dress from Jaeger, but opted out after MN advice that I may not be able to wear it a second time (it was expensive). I did buy it later, oddly, but in the end I wore a dress I already owned which was just a plain black fit and flare, with low den tights and patent ankle strap shoes. I brightened it up a bit with a patterned scarf and a slim jewelled belt. It was simple, yet dignified and comfortable, which suited me most at the time.
As for other family members, my sister wore a bright pattered blouse with black trousers, so not everyone wore black at all. A patterned dress in a smallish print wouldn't be out of place. And also, as an immediate family member, you get a free pass to do what you wish - and if you went for a nautical theme, the people who knew your dad would probably love that.
I hope it passes without too much difficulty for you.
We were dreading that day. It felt like a long slow trip to hell just getting ready that morning.........and yet it went peacefully and without a hitch. We looked out for each other and (hopefully) did him proud. it's the hardest thing in the world - but a beautiful symbol of having cherished a life.
Best wishes x