Thigns beauty counter women say that flippin WORK on you and you know are crap

[EliotNess]

me
" all the reps from the other counters are buying this"

or " even if I didnt work for Lancome ( or whoever) I would buy this"

I KNOW its shit.
as is the " stroking cream on your hand and you marvelling at the silicone softness of it"
why do i lose all sense when at these places?

Our local Chanel woman has this hypnotic voice that sends me to sleep then i bUY

Like the name - have you been reading, 'Educating Rita' lately?

They never talk to me - I put up all my, 'Piss off' barriers and only look when they leave me alone.

But a nice lady in that place that used to make the fantastic matched to your skin foundation that doesn't exist anymore and I have forgotten the name of, once told me that I had, 'English rose' skin. She was wrong (I actually have slightly consumptive looking yellow-ish ghost skin) - but I still fell for it.

Oh yes, the second. Definitely.

I went to the Dior counter for foundation last weekend and asked for a heavy duty concealer. So the assistant produced their new product which is a concealer and eyecream in one - said it would cover my dark circles. Stupidly, I didn't ask her whether she was wearing it. It's useless, cost me £30 and I can still see the circles. Grrrr. Rant over!

Stupidly, I didn't ask her whether she was wearing it

They lie, you know! Of course, they're meant to wear only 'their' brand... But they don't (would you?). But they have to pretend to the brand and to everyone else, that they do!

The Space NK women are pretty good at leaving you alone I find, tho sometimes they float noiselessly up behind you and say 'that lipstick really suits you' which I find a bit weird.

But generally yes, I crumble at even the soft sell. Happened in a flipping charity shop the other day, leaving me with a pair of Hoss Intropia trousers that felt too tight, looked too tight, ARE too tight - but the elderly staff told me 'looked brilliant' so I bought them.

Looking at a chamomile rinse thing for blonde hair, I asked the girl how often to use it.

She said "oh I use it twice a week at least".

She had BLACK hair

This didn't work, but it did give a chuckle. I was buying a few bits as a present for a friend, and the assistant kept trying to push a blue eyeliner on me, insisting that blue near your eyes makes the whites look whiter, therefore "brightening my lovely dark eyes". I stared at her for a few seconds before she twigged. "Oh, you have BLUE eyes... "

'Oh that's a great match for your skin tone'

Falls for the hype, buys and skips off merrily into the sun.

Get back to car, check face in mirror - omg, I've been tangoed

I must have spent a couple of hundred quid over the past couple of months - I have MUG written all over me.

What gets me is that every time I go to a different counter I resolve myself to say 'thanks, I'll think about it' and walk away, but I crumble like a freakin' desperado and part with my hard earned cash to someone who most of time is wearing so much makeup they resemble a waxwork (apologies orange ladies)

I still snigger at the girl in Jigsaw who wearily assured me something was "very flattering" when it was a polo neck sweater that made me look quite terrifyingly squat.

Don't know if this counts but I was watching Nails Inc on QVC and they were flogging some polish and said "if you have just got engaged, this would look perfect to show off your beautiful ring".

Despite being engaged for years and having lots of nail polishes, it just hit a soft spot and made me want to buy. I was good and didn't though

"this gives such natural coverage" yes, if you have the scary skin tone of an oompa loompa.

"it really does erase dark circles" - unless you have the eyebags of an opium-addicted elephant like me (sad face)

Yes yes to stroking cream on hand - they all look and feel the same

I wandered into Space NK after a really bad home dye hair job....I tried to go copper blonde but ended up looking like I was wearing a Jimmy Hat...An assistant wandered up to me and said "I just love your hair, it really suits you !"

I wandered off thinking to myself "you think this is a good look you're not getting within a mile of me with your make up brushes you mad cow..."

Yes yes to stroking cream on hand - they all look and feel the same

I am such a sucker.

lo at beautiful ring

Now I am as old as methusulah I refuse to buy a foundation without a 24 hour cool off period where it can be subjected to the " car rear view mirror " test.

I am not sure this Bobbi Brown one isnt making me look like a banana tbh

They never approach me. I am obviously beyond all help.

Occasionally, if I nip in just before closing time and they've not achieved their commission targets for the day, they will try and nab me but I run the gauntlet through the store.

I don't know but the beauty 'consultant' at the MAC counter in Fenwick today was rubbish, as well as being surly and having a bad attitude. Yes you with the big boobs

"This shade of foundation will suit you because it's one of our most popular shades."

WTF???

An Estee Lauder rep tried to recommend a garish blusher because she said I had "pink undertones" to my skin. I'm the most 'Spring' colouring on the planet.

i like the 'YOU ARE NEVER THAT AGE ' approach.

also 'No, you don't need the mature skin range'.

fall for those two every time.

When epilators(sp) first came out the rep in the department store was using it on my palm and saying how pain free it was. I fell for it, forgetting I didn't have hairy palms so if course it didn't bloody hurt.
Hurt like hell on my chimp like legs though.

ouch