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Help, I could cry :-(

11 replies

lynds1 · 12/06/2013 15:54

I've just been asked for the 2nd time this month if I'm pregnant :-( I'm definitely not pregnant (in fact I'm just about to start ivf so it's a double kick in the teeth!) & my youngest dc is 5 so I can't even blame my size on just having a baby. I'm wearing an empire line long length shirt today (that I'm never wearing again) & need help with what to wear to hide my apparently pregnant looking stomach sob...

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MrsWolowitz · 12/06/2013 16:17

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MrsWolowitz · 12/06/2013 16:17

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Birdies · 12/06/2013 16:23

Poor thing. I'm sure someone will be along to recommend things but just wanted to send a virtual hug as its horrible when that happens. There are some clothes though that even a stick would look pregnant in so I'm sure it was just the shape of your shirt rather than you.

kerstina · 12/06/2013 16:23

Honestly don't worry its the empire line! I am slim and can fit into size 6 tops but the fashion at the moment( tunic style tops etc )makes me feel like I am pregnant!

didireallysaythat · 12/06/2013 16:28

Same happened to me.

Head up, shoulders down, pull your stomach in like you're trying to put hipsters on, and push your collar bone forward. Takes pounds off me.

PenelopePipPop · 12/06/2013 16:43

You hadn't just refused asked for 'just a mineral water' when you normally have a G&T? Have you gone all gooey over everyone else's newborns lately and have a 40th birthday looming? Before you rush out and buy new clothes just check people are not misinterpreting something else...

Otherwise posture and anything that draws attention to your waist. Despite all the apples and pears stuff most women have a significant differential between boobs and tummy so anything that draws attention to yours by drawing the gaze down will highlight that you are not pregnant. All the very stylish larger women I know wear fairly fitted styles.

mignonette · 12/06/2013 16:57

Empire line is the very devil for mimicking pregnancy especially if you are otherwise slim. I can imagine how doubly hurtful it is for you to hear this considering the circumstances.

How to flatter a curved tummy? More fitted clothing. Think T shirts that have a little room in the torso but end just below where a tummy might pooch a bit. Then add a slim cut blazer/jacket or a waisted cardigan with a hem to the middle of your bottom. If you have slender hips and a decent waist then a shorter cardigan will work.

With skirts, avoid pleats from the waist, dirndls and excessive fabric. A line with a divided pleated skirt, straight, pencil or tube all work with a more fitted elongated top. Wear heels with them because pregnant women often do not plus you'll lengthen your lower leg line.

Dresses- no underbust gathers or large tucks and nothing that doesn't follow the lines of your body. A shift style dress worn with a cardigan or other top will give you definition and shape and wearing something over it will help you feel less self conscious about any tummy pooch you may have. Button through skirts can sometimes make a stomach look bigger, especially denim button throughs which seem to pouch. Remember that a curved tummy is not unattractive to others!

Trousers- much the same as skirts. No frontal gathers. Side pockets cut on the slant can make tummies look flatter. Try different fabrics and styles especially jeans and if you find your perfect pair, buy two. Waistbands that fall slightly lower than your natural waist can help disguise a little pooch whereas high waisted trousers may emphasise it if you are short.

Good underwear is important. Don't wear over-tight lingerie. Underpants that cut into waist and buttock will make you look bigger and you don't want your bra to make the flesh around it puff out. Spanx and control pants only work if you buy them a little looser than you think you need. Otherwise flesh spills out somewhere else and you will feel trussed up too.

JazzDalek · 12/06/2013 16:58

I'm a size 8-10 with a flat stomach and can look pregnant in the wrong top. Have learned from experience now which styles to avoid, empire-line anything foremost among the offenders. I also have a coat that looks fine from the front but makes me look huge from the side.

mignonette · 12/06/2013 17:36

Also experiment with pattern and scale. Clothing with interesting pleating or folding can really help accentuate the good and flatter the body regions you feel less confident about. Jersey fabric can cling, especially the oft-championed wrap dress. It doesn't suit every woman despite what Diane Von Furstenburg says (although it may suit you). Generally heavier cottons will skim elegantly over stomachs whereas light floaty chiffons can make you look bigger. They tend to drape or hang from the point of greatest protrusion (breasts/tummy) in a straight wafty line and make you look like a galleon in full sail. In fact a lot of clothing shapes you find in clothing for 'larger' ladies are ones you should avoid in your own (smaller) size as they tend to be not as flattering. No gypsy tops, no kaftan-y shapes unless on a beach, no tunic tops, no trapeze tops no loose shirts.

I can strongly recommend leaving your children behind and spending several hours in stores (department stores good for choice) trying on clothing that you especially might not think would suit you. Getting out of a style rut is good for all of us. I had an image of myself as a woman who did not do strapless/bandeau shapes. Well was I wrong when I took several permutations of aforementioned items into a changing room.

MadBusLady · 12/06/2013 17:55

Agree with Mignonette and penelope. A lot of the received wisdom about what to wear to cover up a tummy (or any other podgy bit) is just plain wrong. When I was heavier I lived in toning jersey layers with the odd bit of ruching. Anything non-stretch, floaty or tunic-shaped put another half stone on me. Empire line still does!

lynds1 · 12/06/2013 23:35

Thank you for the advice & tips (you are wonderful Mignonette), I have taken it all on board & will be ditching my empire line tops immediately & having a serious shop for things to flatter. I'm still smarting but also feeling positive now too. Thank you.

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