Can you help: I can't find my "look"! Mid/late 30s

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I'm surprising myself by writing this question in chat, because I normally post in Mental Health, in support of others or for my own needs.

I've had so many things to deal with over recent years, my "looks" haven't had a look in. I'm in my late 30s and my wardrobe is a complete hotch-potch of different styles.

If I take a look in there now, the first five items are:

Pin-stripe trousers
A very pink, sequinned summer skirt
A plain emerald green t-shirt (too small)
Baggy black jeggings with those fake yellow seams
A big brown cardigan, belt loops but belt missing, seen better days (car boot sale)

I don't really know WHAT my style is. I never wear make up (never have), some days leave the house in all-black, baggy leggings and t-shirt (probably looking a right sight). Other days with much more care, hair clips, dangly earrings, bright, colourful skirts...

I've NO idea what suits me, my clothes come from two or three decades of charity shopping and bargain hunting (never rich).

I would LOVE to feel comfortable that I have "a look" that suits me, and no longer to be experimenting and chopping/changing at nearly 40!

But I've no idea how to start to identify what would suit me, and I'd feel comfortable in. Can anyone help?! Where do I start?!

no idea....I live in loose knits and skinnies

must make more effort myself so will watch with interest

lucysmam hopefully someone will come to my rescue soon! At least you stick to one "look", I look like I'm trying to change my identity every other day

Shape is always a good one to start - are you curvy/straight-up-and-down/apple? Are you tall or small (or in-between)?

The other is, out of the clothes you have now - what items make you feel happiest and which ones would you be most likely to wear if you knew you were going to run into any, or all of:
Your worst enemy
Your boss
Your first love
Your current one/the one you'd like to be current

Put everything on with that in mind, give or throw away the ones that don't fit the categories above, and you should then be able to start seeing what your look, or looks could be from the remainder.

OK thanks moonlight, good test!

I was totally "beanpole" but, since having DCS, am beanpole with a bulge that won't go away (not that bad, really, I just have hips now that I never had before).

OK...

So:
Worst enemy - I think I'd power dress, patent boots, dark colour smart clothes
Boss - ditto (they are one and the same, unfortunately)
First love - something hippie
One I'd like to be current - again, something more hippy and colourful

Well, there you go:

Your work style is formal (with 'don't even think about it attitude?) - so to build a modern look on that: two/three pairs of trousers (you already have the pin-stripe) acquire a pair of cigarette pants/ankle skimmers as well as having the standard 'just below the ankle' variety.
Maybe two dresses (LK Bennett/Roland Mouret/Vicky B. type style)
Three straight skirts from mid-calf to just over the knee
Don't just stick to black though - wear navy/dark greens/greys too
Some smart shirts, but include at least one 'three-quarter' length sleeve for your more 'casual' days at work. White, naturally, but, the nice thing about the dark base is you can get away with confident colours underneath.
Couple of sharp pieces of jewellery (have a look at Lanvin/Marni to get an idea of shapes)
You already have your patent boots, now just pick up a couple of pairs of similar courts for warmer days.

Your 'I know I look good' look is, umm, well, not formal.
Lots of '60s/'70s references around at the moment, so should be an easy look to pull together.

Worth posting in Style & Beauty too - there are some very helpful posters over there - particularly Tethersend & MrsLettuce,

My guess is that you like drama and variety - so some days, that's all black, and some days that's bright colours and big earrings. So perhaps you're never going to be someone that dresses in tasteful shades of grey and navy with small pearl earrings, but that's fine - you're someone in navy and shocking pink and with some funky earrings on.

Are there particular outfits that people compliment you on?

Thanks again Moonlight, you seem to know what you are talking about . I will venture over to S&B too...

GrendelsMum, I sort of wish I was the tasteful grey and navy person, but, you're right, it's not going to be me. I impulse-buy things like a floaty fluorescent pink chiffon blouse (!)

TBH I do not that many compliments about my dress but I have had people say thinks like "You're an Indie chick", "You just throw clothes together [true haha] and it works".

I'm going to test out your theory on my wardrobe tomorrow moonlight (just without chucking away yet).....see how far I get .....

Am also going to load up a basket in Primark and irritate the fook outa the assistant on the changing room by wanting to try it all on when I save a bit more cash up

Moonlight: I googled the designers you mentioned, loving Roland Mouret! That reminds me, I love La Redoute.

Welcome AT - think you kind of knew it yourself, though, so the answers were slightly easy to give!

Lucys - I will be interested to know how it goes.

There's something wrong with impulse buying a floaty fluorescent pink chiffon blouse?

I say go for it!

Like Moonlight says, match some dark basic pieces (navy / brown / grey rather than black, perhaps?) with the bright coloured tops you really like.

See you in Primark lucysmam!

Definitely put this in style & Beauty - you will get lots of help/good advice.

Hi,

Just to let you know that we've found this thread a new home in style and beauty.

Thank you!

Any more advice on how I can identify my personal style (it must be there somewhere!) would be great! It's quite exciting!

Bump if I may

Didn't realise you had 'moved house' from chat....will see what comes of it being here

Are you on Pinterest OP? I've found this really useful for finding out what I like. It's also brilliant for building outfits around existing clothes.

Hang around on S & B too for some lovely links and ideas.

Agree with above about putting together a wardrobe to meet all your potential situations. It's my aim to never panic buy again (always results in poor choices). I'm getting there slowly but feel much happier and less stressed about it all - more time for other things.

Hi, I am not on Pinterest but I could sign up...

Banana Republic ? having a sale
Isabella Oliver ? Baukjen
Coast

Thanks blueshoes...

My budget for clothes is just under 100 pounds per year, and that includes shoes. I love the idea of scouring the charity shops for these labels, but it might be really time consuming. Or do you mean i should look at those sites for inspiration? I did have a look, some lovely clothes, but not so much "entire looks".

I kind of need advice on what to put with what and ideas on how I can identify what suits me. Some good ideas above, but any more are welcome!

Thanks issimma. Great idea, I can do a kind of pie chart of my time and see what outfits I need.

Hi I would add - when you have a try on session, get someone to take pictures (DCs or a friend?) or take it yourself in a long mirror I find I "see' myself differently I the mirror than I do in pictures. It's also good to then have a reminder of the different items and potential outfits you have.

Can you sew? As you can search pinterest (or Craftgawker.com) for "refashion" ideas for funking up your clothes, great for charity shop buys that are good material but wring size/ shape. There are some good ones for refashioning a mans shirt to a ladies top, loads of t-shirt ones and jumper to cardigan type ones for example.