First date in 10 years and I'm a spotty, slobby, boring frump!

[Dilemmargh]

Wasn't sure whether to post here or in relationships or lone parents, and not really sure what I'm after. Basically some general encouragement and advice, I think!

Have been dipping my toe into the murky waters of online dating and exchanged several messages with a guy who seems well-educated, fit and interesting. He wants to meet up for a drink. (Yay!) I would really like to as I am keen not to fall into the endless-messaging-no-meeting trap. However...

I haven't been on a date since I met my ex husband 10 years ago. The circumstances of our split involved quite a hefty blow to my confidence and perception of my body, and I never had the greatest self-esteem anyway.

I'm 28, 5'8, a size 12-14 with small boobs, slight muffin top and a spotty chin. By spotty I mean big pre-menstrual cyst-type spots which are now reducing in size, thankfully, but might still be slightly noticeable on the day he has suggested. I have absolutely no money this week, so buying something new is out. I rarely wear heels. The only smart shoes I have are brown brogues and black suede Wallabee wedges. (Love them, but they might be too 'grandma' for a first date?) What should I wear?!

He's into clubbing and I've not done that for about 6 years. I don't do a whole lot besides work and childcare. He's got loads of friends according to Facebook stalking, most of mine disappeared as a result of the split.

Also, I will probably be on my period. I'm not intending to shag him anytime soon anyway, but is this a bad idea for a first date?

I'm also a single mum and haven't told him (didn't put this in profile to be on the safe side). When is the best time to tell him? He seems generally positive about children, and I wouldn't introduce anyone to my DC for several months anyway. I'm also theoretically married and only just starting the divorce paperwork... If the situation were reversed I know my red flag alert would be deafening!

I blush easily and when I'm nervous I don't talk a lot, and when I do my voice gets very squeaky. I'm rubbish at small talk.

Basically, this is going to be a disaster and I just know I will go home feeling rubbish about myself, but as I'm having another Saturday night on the sofa, I'm thinking I should just go for it. I've been single for 3 years, so it's about time. Please help

in advance!

Don't worry.
Be yourself and wear something that you currently own that is comfy and feels good.
Can be simple, and just arrange something small to start with.
If its just a drink in a bar or pub, then jeans and a top or teashirt will suffice.

Good luck, and hope it goes well

Just go for it!!! Wear what you're comfortable in, if he doesn't like you for being you then he ain't worth it

Good luck!!!!

Go for it! You'll have a fab time and it will boost your confidence :). For me, make-up is the secret to improved confidence. Natural, well applied make-up. Build your foundation up by aplying it in thin llayers, allowing it to dry and then putting more on until you're happy . Use a blusher on the apples of your cheeks, mascara and lipstick: you'll look gorgeous and not too 'overdone'. Make sure you're comfortable in your clothes. Brogues are fashionable and cool: brogues with a casual dress is good .

Resist squeezing any spots. Attack them with TCP on a cotton bud as often as you can to dry them up.

Wear what you feel comfortable in. If he doesn't like your image then he isn't for you.

If you are nervous avout chatting, think of things to ask him so that the flow of conversation can keep going. Not twenty questions but try and pick up on things already being spoken about. If the weather is nice then follow on with asking about holidays, where he has been or would love to go etc.

Hope you have a lovely time.

Thank you!

Liking the brogues and dress idea. I would wear jeans, but I don't have a 'nice' top that would adequately hide the mummy tummy.
Planning to do quite simple make up, but my chin gets oily quickly so you can kind of see the layer of foundation sitting on top of my skin, so I think it'll have to be mineral foundation as that takes longest to dissolve.

Now what to do about the DC/marriage disclosure...?

I think I'll have to suggest a different day as I'm actually supposed to have a very small operation on my mouth on the day that he's suggested. Don't think he'd be impressed if I turned up with a half numb face.

Bump...

Haha yes, avoid the half numb face! hmmm, if he asks do you have any children then I would proudly say 'yes', but say that you keep them seperated form your personal life. That's perfectly understandable and my sister, who is also a single mum, does the same. Her DCs haven't met any of the men she's dated . But if he doesn't ask and you want to mention it then maybe ask him what he did earlier in the day, then when he asks you back you could mention you took DCs to the park? As for the marriage, I would just describe yourself as 'seperated'. If he asks you 'Are you divorced?' just say 'In the process of divorcing, it can't come soon enough!' smile and seem relaxed about it. You'll have a fab time! Mineral foundation is good, or Rimmel do a cheap powder that is very good which would 'set' the foundation. I think brogues and a dress are a good idea.

Now I'm thinking the day of the mouth op may be good. It means you can just go somewhere low key and if you don't like him you can make the excuse that your mouth is hurting .

Ooh, lots of useful phrases there Mango, thanks. He's chosen a nice relaxed pub 20 minutes from my house (he doesn't know where I live though obv), so definitely going for brogues. Now which dress... Most of mine are work dresses, so might have to dip into the savings to buy a 'date dress'. Any ideas for a budget under £30?

Definitely won't meet on the day of the procedure as I have no idea how sore it'll be. On paper this guy is almost ideal so he's bound to be tiny with a funny voice, so I don't want to put him off.

A relaxed pub is always good! And if it's 20 minutes from your house then I doubt you'll see anyone who you know (always awkward on a date!) but you're close enough to get home quickly if it goes badly . ASOS do good dresses for under £30, and they have free delievery (3-5 working days). ASOS are true to size, too. If not, New Look and H&M? Although I find H&M come up small and are very off with their sizing. Gok Wan has a gorgeous collection for sainsbury's! I hope it all goes to plan and let us know what dress you get/how it goes! And hopefully he won't be small with a funny face