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Original poster

Dress as gift from DH looks frumpy on me. Please help me style it.

70 replies

abigboydidit · 06/06/2013 19:30

To give a bit of background, I am 36 and have been pregnant for pretty much the last 3 years & left with a pelvic organ prolapse after DDs birth. All this has really knocked my confidence & body image & has been starting to really get me down.

DH is not one for grand romantic gestures but arrived home tonight with this dress as he said when he saw it in the window he had to have it as he knew I would look beautiful. He has also arranged dinner at an amazing restaurant so I can wear it.

The problem is - I make it look like a Jacques Vert creation Sad Whereas the model looks all boho, on me it is fitted but not clingy so I just feel like am off to the registry office. I used to have long, thick naturally curly hair but had to get it cropped after DC1 as it went all thin and wispy (as stupid as it sounds, losing my curls has been a real blow for my body image) & I think it makes the outfit all Mumsy.

I can't ask DH to take it back as it really would hurt his feelings and be really ungrateful so I hoped someone out there could help me accessorise it so I don't look like a frump brideBlush. I should add am 5'7" and a size 8/10 (dress is 10 but needs to be as otherwise wouldn't squeeze my breastfeeding boobs or post baby belly in)

OP posts:
Tweet2tweet · 06/06/2013 19:40

I think that's a lovely dress and from your description you will look lovely in it. Why not go for gold sandals like the model? You could also get some nice earrings too?

Sounds like you have had a full on 3 years. I just had number 2 and am feeling down because my stomach hasn't gone back, looks like bread dough.

I bet you look a lot better than you think. Enjoy your evening and just concentrate on what a lovely mummy you are.

Lizzylou · 06/06/2013 19:48

Lovely dress, what a lovely thing for your DH to do Smile
I agree, strappy metallic sandals would look great.
From your description of your figure I think you are being too hard on yourself, bet you look fab.

BreasticlesNTesticles · 06/06/2013 19:51

Could you get it adjusted so it is a bit more snug? Sounds as though you have a great figure!

BellaVita · 06/06/2013 19:53

Lovely dress.

You need a big chunky statement necklace.

RemusLupinsBiggestGroupie · 06/06/2013 20:05

Pretty dress, and lovely dp!

I think it would look great with 70s style clunky-ish tan sandals (Hasbeen types) and some bangles. Would a hair cut and colour elp with your confidence at all? Cropped styles are what all the 'young and hip' girls are wearing, so they don't have to be mumsy. :)

I think you'll look gorgeous in it.

Cheerymum · 06/06/2013 20:09

Also consider Spanx or other control underwear underneath to give you a smooth silhouette.
Lovely gesture, lucky you with such a lovely husband x

EuroShaggleton · 06/06/2013 20:19

It's gorgeous. I don't see how it could look frumpy. I bet you'll look amazing.

SundaySimmons · 06/06/2013 20:24

Metallic flat sandals, long beads and a small raffia clutch.

NomDeOrdinateur · 06/06/2013 20:27

Agree with the others - lovely dress, lovely DH, and it sounds like you're being far too hard on yourself.

I would wear these shoes, and a collar-style statement necklace like this. Turquoise makes everything look younger and more bohemian, IME. Add about half of these stacking bracelets, and you'll be good to go.

Yes to shapewear or alterations if it will make you less self conscious, but I'm sure the dress will look great on you either way as long as you wear a good bra.

Have a great time!

Original poster
abigboydidit · 06/06/2013 20:32

Thanks everyone. It was so sweet of him and DS exclaimed "pretty Mummy!" when I put it on but I think I just have difficulty adapting to how I look now. The pelvic organ issue makes exercising hard and pre-DCs I was a pretty wiry size 8. I had A cup boobs and strangely find my new DDs make me feel Mumsy. The hair has been the biggest blow though, as the curls were so much a part of me. My cut is cropped and edgy (!?) but has a v short fringe so it just seems so severe compared to the dress (am sallow skinned with dark brown hair).

Can anyone link to any shoes or accessories? I started looking for tan leather wedges (I can't manage proper heels) but couldn't find anything I like & to be honest I don't really trust my taste any more as I feel am too old for the things I used to like. Am so annoyed at myself as 3 years ago I would have been happy (in the size 8 Sad) with flat metallic sandals, some wooden bangles and lots of ringlets but the me these days is all breast pads and snot stains Confused

OP posts:
mais · 06/06/2013 20:41

Newlook have a huge collection of wedges, reasonably priced too
Will try and pick some I think are nice

PasswordProtected · 06/06/2013 20:44

What a loving, thoughtful husband you have! what an adorable child, too. Try not to look back, but see now as an opportunity to discover new and delightful things about yourself and your life.
Most of all, have an enjoyable "date" with your husband. You will look stunning and he clearly thinks the world of you.

Original poster
abigboydidit · 06/06/2013 20:45

Oh thanks NomDeOrdinateur. Will try those shoes on as not sure I could walk in them but they are nice! Good idea re the turquoise and I wouldn't have thought of that. Actually saw a lovely one in primark the other day which would have been perfect. Bet they've sold out Envy. And thanks in advance mais

OP posts:
AlwaysSleepingBeauty · 06/06/2013 20:46

As soon as I saw the dress, in my mind I saw it on someone with a cropped hairstyle like you have. I honestly think that you'll look beautiful. I know that doesn't add much but thought it was worth saying.

Original poster
abigboydidit · 06/06/2013 20:46

PasswordProtected you are very kind and you have made me all teary (in a good way)

OP posts:
NomDeOrdinateur · 06/06/2013 20:46

I already linked you to my favourites, but here are some others that I noticed -

Other shoes: cream wedges; metallic wedges; www.clarks.co.uk/p/20343902 low metallic wedges]]; like the Topshop tan wedges from my earlier post, but not quite as nice IMO; white but may work.

Other necklaces: long and east-meets-west-ish or possibly a bit "much" but more traditional.

Do you want a bag and/or hair things too?

Chubfuddler · 06/06/2013 20:46

I find it very hard to believe that at size 8/10 and five foot seven you look frumpy in that dress. Very hard to believe.

Otherwise accessorise as ^^ they said.

And grow your hair back if you're not happy with it. Obviously you can't do that before your dinner date. But mothers do not have to have "mum" hair. Mine is the longest it has ever been and I love it.

Original poster
abigboydidit · 06/06/2013 20:48

Really AlwaysSleepingBeauty? I just keep picturing it with soft, long hair like the model. There's just no way to really soften my hair without using clips and am not a 7 year old. Oddly it's starting to kink a bit now so maybe by then I will look like Audrey Tatou [deluded]

OP posts:
NomDeOrdinateur · 06/06/2013 20:49

Oops, cross-post and broken link - I am doing well this evening! You're welcome - hope the shoes are comfortable for you, I really want a pair myself...

The link should hopefully work this time!

PaleHousewifeOfCumbriaCounty · 06/06/2013 20:51

Can i borrow your bewbs for my holidays?!

Seriously, your husband sounds an absolute doll. Gawd love him. I would copy the model look - gold sandals, or maybe even a wedge sandal for a super leggy look ( you have the height for it). Fringy back, and maybe even a boho type waistcoat thingy over the top.

I really sympathise with you. I was so excited to have my last baby and get back into my heels n skinny jeans, and when the time came i just felt crap, and like i had lost my styke and my mojo. Its took a while but the only way round it was to get rid of a lot of my old stuff and start over. Its been really good! So i can recommend it, and it sounds like your legend of a hubby will be 100% on board too

NomDeOrdinateur · 06/06/2013 20:53

BTW - your hair actually sounds lovely, but if you want to "soften" it then hairclips don't have to be childish. Depending on your hair colour, you could get them to blend in (I use tortoiseshell clips on my dark brown hair sometimes and you'd have to be very close to notice them) or subtle gold/silver ones.

It sounds like you'd get a real confidence boost from a trip to a hairdresser who knows what to do with short-ish curly hair - is that an option, as a little treat before your dinner date?

mais · 06/06/2013 20:57

My choices all look high! Do you prefer low/high wedges? I am similar height/size to you and find when I'm out of the habit of wearing heels, I feel ridiculously tall.
There are lower options if you like

Original poster
abigboydidit · 06/06/2013 21:01

OooOOhh! I actually like the neon ones mais but am just not sure I have the balls to try to carry it off. Chubfuddler & NomDeOrdinateur I had/have started to grow it out as I used to have a short bob which I loved (sort of like Julia Roberts in The Mexican) but it's just so unpredictable and some days I look like a Playmobil person. Am starting to think I just need to draw a line and accept the curls are gone and go for a proper cropped crop as at the moment some days its sleek and choppy, other days a bit wavy in a nice way but the rest of the time it just fluffs out and looks Mumsy. Anyone recommend a hairdresser in Glasgow area??

OP posts:
cocolepew · 06/06/2013 21:01

That dress,would be great with short hair,, think Audrey Hepburn, Jean Seberg, Michelle Williams.
Bigger boobs can make you feel a bit mummsy but they are being put to good use!
It is a lovely dress.

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