I feel totally overwhelmed by makeup but I'm going to be 40...

[MerryMarigold]

...and I want makeup for my birthday present. I never wear makeup, a bit of tinted lip balm and that's it. Now, I think I need it and have asked dh if I could have it as my birthday present as it is soooo expensive.

But I don't know where to start? There's so much of it around. I want to spend the money wisely and not get stuff I'll never use. I'd basically like something to go on my skin (not full blown foundation, even BB cream sample I got felt heavy but maybe I could get used to it), something for my eyes, a blusher? (do people still use that?). See, I really have NOOOO idea.

Do I go for a 'consultation'? Where? Would they teach me how to put it on? Do I need lessons? Does such a thing exist? I have looked at youtube too, but again, there is so much that I don't know where to look or start. Do I go for one brand? Which brand would be good? I have quite sallow skin...

Heeeeelp!

I find Benefit to be a good brand for pepple are not really into make up. If you have time go and get some advice at some beauty counters, without committing to buy there and then.

I'm 36, always been rubbish with make up, but have been trying a bit in the last year or so as I have noticed that it does make a difference to me now I'm a bit older and more knackered from having small children!

I've always been scared of not looking like myself, but have worked out that just a bit of mascara and lipstick makes a huge difference to how I look, so I stick with that for daytime and then only do the whole eyeshadow and blusher thing if I'm going out somewhere posh at night. I hardly ever do foundation, but I don't think I need it as my skin is in good condition (I like to think that's because it's not been plastered in make-up every day for 20 years so has had chance to breathe!)

If you're only buying a couple of things like mascara and lippy, and it's for a present, I'd be tempted to buy from an expensive place. I am a novice but certainly notice the difference between cheap (Rimmel/Bourjois) lipsticks and posher ones (Chanel). I like Chanel in general (I have lovely eye shadow and blusher from there) and I like Lancome mascaras. Suggest you check out those two counters.

You really don't need much, particularly if you are very wary of make up like I was/am. My make up bag now consists of 2 mascaras (black and brown, both Lancome), one eyeshadow palette from Chanel (4 shimmery tones - cream, peach, lighter brown and darker brown), a blusher from Chanel (I just bought the one they said suited me, and I do like it!), and about 4 lipsticks, although I only tend to wear 2 of them - a coral one and a slightly redder one. I find getting the right lipstick the hardest thing so that might be a bit more trial and error and you may want to buy high street ones until you've worked out which tones you like. Brown mascara generally looks softer than black and a bit more natural so might be less scary if you're not used to make up.

I always tell people in this situation to go to Bobbi Brown. They won't make you look like a clown, just a better version of yourself. The make up is good. It's quite expensive but you won't need loads and once you know what to get you can buy it gradually.

Thanks everyone. Great advice. I am going to check out some brands online now. It is a bit scary in real life so I will need to pluck up courage for that bit. I live near Westfield so I have loads of choice (too much).

I'm rubbish if anyone tries to sell me stuff at saying no, which is why I wanted an idea beforehand or I will take everything chucked at me. I will have to go for an initial check like Chandon suggests with 'Just say no' mantra in my head.

Glad I am not the only one, evertonmint, and that it is possible to change this permanently. Thanks for your advice, it really makes sense to just for those basics first and to go 'good' which is why I wanted it for my birthday.

There are lots of good make up videos on youtube. Pixiwoo and Lisa Eldridge are good to start with.

Ooh, exciting! I suggest getting a nice tinted moisturiser with SPF (Laura Mercier, maybe), a blusher (NB less is more - Nars?), a good mascara (I like YSL Shocking) and some tinted lipgloss (the Chanel ones are lovely). Simple and easy, and will make you look like you but better.

Have a good wander round Westfield and get the makeup ladies to try the products on you, and watch how they apply them, then go away and see how it all wears and if you really like it before buying anything.

Totally agree with Bobbi Brown.
Make up is great, subtle, natural and although quite pricey, lasts for ever. I have a pot of blusher which has been on the go for about 4 years, although I use it five days a week.

Thanks. Pusspuss, that;s really helpful suggestions. I have spent some time looking online and there is really so much out there, was starting to feel overwhelmed again. I was thinking of tinted moisturiser. I feel really nervous about going up to make up ladies! Also, I don't have tons of opportunities to get out so I wonder how I could do it in a couple of sessions. I will get there though and hopefully look good for my birthday!

I know I am becoming a bit of a bore but ............. ever since I had my colours done I have been wearing less and less make up. I am older than you and spent years using make up to try and correct the harsh effect of wearing the wrong colours. Now I am just wearing a light b&b cream, a slick of the cheap Revlon blusher that Sali Hughes recommended in the Guardian, an M&S Autograph eyeliner, mascara and the Revlon lipstick(thanks again Sali) and I look so much better than I ever did in my 30s.

Just to confuse me further, chocolate !

Just watched a pixiwoo youtube vid and I want her to do me. I'd be a 'rewarding challenge'. Are you out there pixiwoo?

Don't be nervous of the makeup ladies - I know they're intimidating somehow, but remember they are there to serve you! You could always take a makeup-wearing friend along to help fight them off, and to give you a second opinion.

No need for two separate trips - just pop to the loo once you've got it all on, and have a good look at it in private, so you don't feel rushed to make a decision with someone standing over you.

Suggest telling the sales assistants that you don't usually wear makeup, so you're just looking for (say, a tinted moisturiser) that will give you a pretty, natural look. Get them to recommend a colour to suit you from their range. Do the TM first, then the other bits!

As you're new to makeup, like Chocolate, I did wonder whether it might be worth starting with high street brands as opposed to the higher end stuff, so you can experiment cheaply. Then again, it's your big birthday, and good quality basics perform better and will last you ages, so I say go for it!

If you're near the Westfield W12; the Bobbi Brown ladies in House of Fraser are really nice, as are the NARS ladies. BB counter staff spent 20 minutes trying to help me match a lipstick I'd seen in a magazine, even checking other counters for me!

I recommend the NARS tinted moisturiser and concealers. You won't get any pressure from the staff at HoF to buy on the day; they will colour match for you & write down the products used, if you say that you want to walk around with it on for a bit, see how it wears throughout the day, how it looks in natural light, etc. The NARS colour range is quite directional and I think you'd be best off moving over to Bobbi Brown for eyeshadows, lipstick, etc.

The other brand to take a look at is Clinique. If going to Westfield, stay away from their counter in Boots! They seem to be fresh out of training and go through the sales patter quite robotically, not really listening to what you're actually asking for. The assistant who I asked to colour match me to their foundation, applied it OVER the makeup I had on my face, then starting saying that my skin was flaky! No...You've caked makeup over makeup, that's why it looks shit.

The Debenhams Clinique counter is much better, assistants are experienced and have a more relaxed approach. Have a look at their Chubby Stick ranges for eyes and lips. You can go through the samples on the counter yourself, as you can with any counter where samples are on display. If the SA comes over, you don't have to accept their offer of help straightaway. I normally just say that I'm okay by myself for the moment, but I'll shout if I need them, then call them over if I want help working out which shade is going to work better, want one of the products applied on me to see how it looks, or I'm ready to buy something.

I think those are the only high-end brands I'd recommend for a new starter. Chanel, MAC, Benefit etc. are great for exciting colours and innovations, but I think if you can get your head around what products and colours are going to work for you with the help of the three brands mentioned above, you can start experimenting with the mid-range brands, without worrying about spending £17 on a lipstick, only to find you don't like it a week down the line.

PussPuss - I'm not new to make up, I've been wearing it for about 30 years!! The point I was making was that I was wearing too much make up to compensate for wearing the wrong colours. (I happily wear a combination of high end and high street these days - but often don't see the difference in terms of quality/performance.)

Thanks so much for your long post MrsBert. I'm near the Stratford Westfield, not the W12. No HoF, but we have John Lewis and I think Space NK and Sephora.

That's really helpful on what to say and how to behave! I needed that. Feel more confident...

What do you mean by NARS colour range is quite directional?

Thanks

Me and my also nearly 40 year old friend went for a consultation at the same time - to scary to go alone! I wanted to replace the make-up I'd bought to get married in 15 years ago (that's old right?!)

We walked around looking at the ladies behind the counters to see which looked least orange and fake (on the assumption that they thought they looked good and would try to make me look the same) - the nicest made up lady was at the Boots No.7 Stand. She used one of those (from the advert) shade tester machines - was all made very scientific and so made me happy!

The day I wore the make-up for the first time I had loads of people say I was looking very 'well' so it must have done something! I went for the lightest cover as I hate the feeling of stuff on my skin. Wasn't too expensive and they had a buy 2 get 1 free thing on too. Good luck

Directional is just another word for fashionable - pro lines like NARS or MAC often pick up the more 'out there' catwalk trends like neons or, I don't know, green eyebrows ("a green brow", darling), or something. Classic make-up ranges like Bobbi Brown or Clinique aren't so emphatically fashionable, and are really more about making you look polished, rather than Made-Up.

Space NK is another great place to go for a make-over as all their assistants are trained make-up artists, but the slight downside is that all the ranges they carry are lovely and quite top-end in price. That said, it's worth splashing out on a really good foundation and concealer - you can pick up perfectly good lipsticks, shadows and mascaras in Boots once you know the colours to choose, and how to apply them.

book yourself a little makeup lesson at the Bobbi Brown counter, and ask them for advice.

NARS and the like can be a little to ... er ... trendy for the rest of us ...

Chocolate - my fault, confusing use of commas! I meant 'As you're new to makeup, like Chocolate I did wonder...' - I wasn't for a moment intending to cast aspersions on your makeup savviness!

Ah ha - I shall put my boxing gloves away then! :) (too hot to fight anyway!)

Phew - close shave! I completely agree with you that having your colours done is really worthwhile to help you look your best, makeup or not. OP - you might be interested in that too? Part of the consultation covers makeup, certainly with Colour Me Beautiful anyway. Not sure about the others.

There's a Sephora at Stratford?! I really need to head over that way.

NARS is a brand that is very editorial and catwalk-led. The makeup artist behind it doesn't market NARS as being 'suits-all' or easy to wear.

When a new collection is launched, the campaign for NARS is always very editorial; see the way the Summer 2013 range has been used on Stella Tennant for example; not one for going to the supermarket! 8 out of 10 times when I buy NARS, I ask the assistants to show me how to 'water down' the suggested looks for everyday wear (which can be successfully done) and with the eyeshadows and liners, I really have to think about what shades will work with what I'm wearing that day. So for a makeup newbie, I think it's not the best brand to start with.

At the other end of the spectrum, Bobbi Brown designs and create products that are easy to wear and her view is that makeup is to enhance and her ad campaigns are always quite approachable and you just think, 'wow that woman looks all glowy and healthy'! If you look at the spectrum of eyeshadow colours available in the BB range compared to NARS, you'll see the difference in the colour spectrums used. Clinique also operate at this end of the market (although they're undergoing a major revamp later this year, so will see if this remains the case once the new products are launched in autumn).

Take a look at the brands' websites before you go shopping and if particular shades or suggested looks interest you, Googling them should bring up various beauty blogs, where the products have been tested and rated by bloggers. They will usually have photos showing how the products look when applied; more helpful if you can find a blogger whose colouring is similar to your own! Then when you talk to the assistant, you have an opening gambit like, "I've seen Product X in Colour Y online and thought that might work' to get a conversation started about what you want.

Sorry for the long rambly post: inhaled two coffees half an hour ago; bit wired.

That's really interesting, mrsBert - what form will Clinique's revamp take? I'm often surprised by how much of the range I really like, but my mental image of Clinique will always be that paint-stripper toner that everyone had in the 90s, and a sticky yellow soap in that green plastic soap coffin container.

AH now I geddit. I thought you were saying the colours on NARS tinted moisturiser were directional and was wondering how directional translated into skintones!

Just checked and Space NK and Sephora are NOT in Stratford - arghhhh, sorry. I could have sworn I definitely saw Space NK (tho just to walk past). And I don't see how I could have dreamed Sephora since I've only been into it once in New York and had a nail varnish which I kept for years and years, and forgot all about it until I thought I saw the shop in Stratford. Maybe there is a shop that sells their stuff?

I decided to spend money on buying nice makeup and doing my own when I got married, rather than spend the money on someone doing it for me.

So I made appointments with a few different places for make overs. I think I went to Bobbi Brown, Clinique, Space NK and MAC.

I found space nk and MAC by far the best. Space NK is good because they have lots of different brands they can pick and mix from. I have always found their staff good at make up in all the branches I have been to. I went to the MAC shop in Covent garden and the girl there was amazing, really listened to what I wanted and picked shades of eye makeup I would never have thought to try which really enhanced my eyes.

I found that I liked different brands for different products. For example I really liked the Laura Mercier (space nk) base products eg primer, eyelid primer (amazing at just evening your eyes out and you don't have to use eye shadow on top so can be a very natural look) concealer and tinted moisturise. I liked MAC best for eye shadows and eye liner, and Bobbi brown for blusher.

I also used to always feel really pressured to buy things by the sales assistant, but now I always say that I am going to see how it feels and lasts on my skin over the course of the day and that I will come back to buy the product if I like it.

The only product you might need to explore for yourself is mascara - it is very hard for anyone else to apply it well on you I find. I personally rate the Clinique mascaras, maybe something like their 'long pretty lashes' one if you want quite a natural look. Or Lancôme 'defincils'.

I will also go against the grain and say that I have had a few Bobbi brown make overs and they have always gone OTT on me! But they do have nice products.

Good luck!