Mother-of-the-bride in 4 weeks - Dont want to look like mother-in-law from hell!!! Please help!

[PositiveAttitude]

Hello you lovely lot!!

Actually, you all scare the hell out of me, so please be gentle!!! - I imagine you all to be the perfect size 8/10 girls with legs to your armpits who were all so popular at school. while I am.......NOT!!!

Anyway, to the point! Daughter getting married in 4 weeks. I am returning to the UK for the wedding - have been living abroad for the past year. Getting a little lot panicky about not having the dress yet. I will only be in the UK 8 days before the wedding. No possibility of getting one here, so thinking of buying on-line and having it there for as soon as I arrive in case its not right.

I am short - 5'3" and fat! - size 22ish - that's why you all scare me!! But 10 months ago I was a size 30, so don't have a go at me please!!

Bridesmaids are wearing red, so need to avoid anything that will clash with that.

Most definitely NOT a hat person!! Was thinking one of those fascinator thingamys instead.

Budget - would like to keep whole outfit under 150 pound (sorry, no pound sign on laptop!), but would go over for the right one! But would love to stay under 100, really.

Oh wise MN styleese, please help me and in advance!

PS. Here's one that I have seen, just so you know what might take me fancy.

number 1

Curvety is your friend!

Congratulations on going from size 30 to 22. That´s amazing!
I like the one you fancy. I wouldnt wear with a shrug as I dont think they look very smart. Maybe a linen jacket?
Marks and Spencer have nice weddingy stuff in larger sizes if you can get to a large store I´d start there and you can look online first.
Good luck

My mother wore a similar floral dress to my wedding, with a smart tailored jacket. I think it was a white jacket, but she also had a navy blue one which she would have worn to my sister's wedding in the same year so I get confused without my pictures nearby.

Or a very smart cardigan. I like the longer ones without buttons, but I'm sure a S&B expert will say it'll all be too long with that dress. I think a very light neutral colour or white.

I love that dress! I wouldn't normally order online but I think you should order it to arrive just before you do, so you can send it back quickly if needed and still have time to look around / hit the shops.

Stay clear of a very bright outfit that will outglow the bride in pictures! My xMIL wore a coral glow-in-the-dark outfit, and xSIL electric blue dress. I can laugh about it now. But I have to say all the wedding pictures with them in were ordered in black and white!

The dress you have chosen is really pretty, gorgeous colours. I second linen jacket, maybe in white or even the pinky red colour of the flowers? Statement necklace? Get a really good haircut & colour and makeover/nails. No need for hat/fascinator if you don't like them!

Would this match?
www.debenhams.ie/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/prod_10052_10001_029010100057_-1

This is lovely and fresh - also well within budget
www.bonmarche.co.uk/dresses/tailored-jacket-with-printed-dress-and-scarf/invt/03450509/&bklist=icat,4,shop,shopbyoccasion,occasionwear&bklist=icat,4,shop,shopbyoccasion,occasionwear

This could go with your first choice dress and still within budget
www.bonmarche.co.uk/coats+jackets/linen-mix-short-sleeve-jacket/invt/14451393/&bklist=icat,4,shop,shopbyoccasion,occasionwear&bklist=icat,4,shop,shopbyoccasion,occasionwear

Book a personal shopper at any of the department stores john Lewis, debenhams for when you arrive. I guarantee that they will find you the perfect outfit from hat to shoes

Order the fess as a back up

They don't charge commission

Oooooh you are all lovely!!!!

Thank you so much. I didn't know if anyone want respond.

BoundandRebound the idea of a personal shopper sort of scares me!!! Would I be forced into buying something I don't like. I find it difficult to say no, so can sort of imagine myself hating something, but buying it just because someone told me I should, IYSWIM. But, if I do this do I phone and book one in advance? The more I think of this, though, the more appealing it is as I know I lose interest when the first dress is not what I want. What sort of shops have personal shoppers. I will be shopping in Southampton if I do go to the shops. They have a Debenhams there, nit sure about any others though.

MrsPaddy I had already seen the blue dress set that you linked to and I really liked it, then read the thread on here about how awful BonMarche is for anyone under the age of 70 and it put me off - fickle, I know! I love scarves, so that one really appeals. A definite possibility!!

THanks everyone for your suggestions. I will consult with my 4 DDs and let you know what I do.

More suggestions welcome - still wide open to anything.

I am glad you like the one I linked to aswell it has boosted my confidence.

DONT WEAR A SHIT fascinator
they are SO MOTB

just have your hair done

How about this
www.marksandspencer.com/Twiggy-Woman-Print-Secret-Support/dp/B0090V23OQ?ie=UTF8&ref=sr_1_19&nodeId=533512031&sr=1-19&qid=1370079811

would cover arms and a nice neckline - not sure about print, I would hjave to look in rl

if oyu go to southampton, go to the BIG marks at hedge end not west Quay

this? www.phase-eight.co.uk/fcp/product/phase-eight/Dresses/Sam-Spot-Wrap-3/4-Sleeve-Dress/201999755 is a 20 but their sizes are HUGE

www.next.co.uk/x5176s4#145016x51s22?i=22 ?

Thanks Nehru - you made me about the fascinator!!! Sort of my thoughts, but I thought it was a given that the MOB had to wear something on her head!!

Hair is going to be lovely. I arrive back in the UK in the early hours of 21st. Hairdressers is booked for 4pm that day!! My daughter is a hairdresser, so booked in with her for some pampering. She always used to do my hair lovely, colour and cut, but I have been living in hot climate for a year and my hair is like an advert for a scarecrow!! I am assured DD3 can beautify it again, although I have warned her that I thought a shave might be the only option!!

Yay and debenhams personal shoppers are free!!! What a bargain!!!

John Lewis fashion advice is v good, and no pressure to buy anything

Ah great, why not have the Bon Marche one ordered.. book the shopper and then you have a few options. I prefer a saucer hat as they are more flattering. Gosh I wouldn't care what people thought.. I bought a few things in Bon Marche in my late twenties!! I think it depends what you choose. I have a lovely fitted pencil skirt (black with white piping) that I wear with knee length boots and am often asked where I got it. Long as you have nice funky jewellery and handbag. I like the classic cut clothes but don't dress head to toe in stuff from there.

With your hair - would you buy a hair oil - like Argan Oil and wear with a hot towel a couple of times a week coming up to the wedding?

How about blue?

Or floral?

This could work with a hat

If you like hats.

Just read your OP properly- you do not like hats

floral

red

blue

Lace

Blue lace

I'm a 22 (but tall) - so far, must say that the blue Monsoon dress is the loveliest I've seen on here.

Would always go with John Lewis for personal shopper rather than Debenhams but that may just be me!

I'm off to two smart weddings this summer and not intending to wear a hat - nor is my friend, who is mother of the groom at one.
Good luck!

Definitely like the Monsoon blue lace and the Alexon blue lace ones best - the Linea lace one in cream is a touch bridal, I think.

No there is no pressure from personal shoppers, they are like having a friend with you who will tell you whether it suits or not in my experience

Debenhams ones are good, and they are salaried so no pressure to buy

All you need to do is try on what they bring

I love the blue monsoon dress.

I don't think a hat is obligatory any more, unless it is a very formal large church do. I know a lot of people don't like fascinators, but my mum wore a headband fascinator to my wedding and it looked great.

Tethersend has nailed it with both blue lace dresses. Love them!