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Going round like a tramp and no end in sight....

29 replies

Doowrah · 15/03/2013 15:06

I know I am not alone in this feel free to join in....

My hair is a mess and has been for months, it needs cutting and highlighting desperately. I have no jeans and have to wear leggings which look dreadful on me because they are cheap!

I have not bought a new coat in over 6 years and I can only dream of new boots. I daren't even start on the underwear or make-up.

I have spent years since becoming a mother looking like total crap and I cannot see it ending because whenever there is any money it goes on the DS, bills or food.It's a nightmare....sorry I needed to get that out.

OP posts:
HoleyGhost · 15/03/2013 15:08

Can you look for new jobs, downsize, whatever it takes to change this?

Doowrah · 15/03/2013 15:16

Spent thousands re-training myself only to not be able to get a job despite hundreds and hundreds of applications downsizing for me would mean sleeping on the streets.

OP posts:
GinAndSlimlinePlease · 15/03/2013 15:18

charity shop? Lots of nice coats in charity shops our way.

ask for vouchers for clothes shops for presents?

GinAndSlimlinePlease · 15/03/2013 15:18

offer to model for trainees for your hair?

GinAndSlimlinePlease · 15/03/2013 15:19

primark do reasonable and nice jeans

HoleyGhost · 15/03/2013 15:25

Is anyone helping you with your applications? Fresh pair of eyes can really help.

How about temping to bridge the gap on your cv?

lemonmuffin · 15/03/2013 15:50

It's awful and depressing when you have no money to spend on yourself isn't it?

Re the hair: why not try doing the mumsnet haircut? A lot of posters have been really pleased with it. Or maybe look at offers at your local hairdressers with trainees. Or do your own colour with the home dye packs.

Coats - try charity shops in nice areas, they get some really good stuff. Or ebay.

Jeans - how about Asda or Primark. Or again, Ebay if you don't mind second hand?

TheCrackFox · 15/03/2013 16:02

Do you live near a beauty college? They often do cheap haircuts.

Do you need to highlight your hair as it is bloody expensive? Might be cheaper to just go back to your original hair colour.

Lidls are selling skinny jeans for £7.99 this week.

It is shit being skint. Is their anything you coukd do to boos your income - ironing, baby sitting, dog walking?

I hope you find a job soon. Xx

GinAndSlimlinePlease · 15/03/2013 16:07

I do feel for you. When I bought my flat, I was mortgaged to the hilt and couldn't afford haircuts so I grew it long and mousy. Things are tight again, so I asked for a voucher for my hairdresser for my birthday.

This is where the Internet is annoying, I'd love to be able to help in some way.

(hugs)

CeeceeBloomingdale · 15/03/2013 16:15

I was a bit like this until recently. I've been careful with money, bought my girls less clothes as they have loads and have started doing things for me again. I'm always finding clothes for next to nothing on sale rails. This week I got 2 pairs of trousers for me, a pair of pumps for me and a pair of sandals for both girls and it was £8.10 in total in Matalan. I did similar in Asda when they reduce all sale items to £1. If you can spare small amounts like that on occasion it can make a huge difference.

MyLittleDiva · 15/03/2013 16:15

I do the mumsnet haircut and love it. What about a new lipstick? Do your own manicure at home.

MyLittleDiva · 15/03/2013 16:17

Primary have nice basic tshirts for £2.50 l

MyLittleDiva · 15/03/2013 16:21

Primark !

BeCool · 15/03/2013 16:23

I gave myself the MN haircut with the confidence that I looked like crap anyway so I may as well give it a go before paying out ££ I didn't have on a hairdressers.. It was actually great and I got compliments

I give myself 4 MN haircuts in total.

Coats -wish I could help. I'm wearing an 'old ladies coat'. Long, warm, functional but not stylish & ages me by 20 years. I had brought coats via ebay but don't recommend it - they were all frumpy. I had better start saving for a proper coat I feel good wearing next winter now. It's a huge expense.

Please get some fresh eyes to review your CV. Sometimes there are glaring errors or off putting statements only another person will spot (personal experience of this).

I've put on a stone since splitting from P - all my clothes are tight & lumpy & I feel crappy too!!!

Lakota · 15/03/2013 18:04

If you take a bag of second hand clothes (can be kids' or adults' and doesn't have to be good condition, they will sort for rags) into H&M they'll give you a £5 voucher off a £30 spend. They have nice skinny jeans at the moment.

Lakota · 15/03/2013 18:07

Sorry that probably wasn't much help if things are really tight at the moment. There are definitely bargains to be found in charity shops though, you just need to look lots and be lucky!

Or you could organise an evening where people bring round to swap their unwanted/wrong sized things. You might pick up a few bits that way.

Doowrah · 15/03/2013 18:25

Thankyou ladies...all very good suggestions. I trawl charity shops and rarely find things to fit me, have done the MN haircut in the past and twas a disaster I have very thick hair which shows every chink if not cut properly. I bought the Lidl jeans today as a treat only to get them home and the zip broke....hence my lamentable poor me thread thereafter!!!!

I will just have to put a pound away here and there and try and save to really re-invest in myself...it could be a lot worse I have a home, food, bills paid (mostly!)

I am told my applications are good and I do get interviews but never the final job....tried temping which is not easy as I am a single parent and leaving my DS before and after school is tricky but I had to stop because what benefits I do get were stopped entirely leaving me sometimes with £300 to live off for the whole month!!!!

OP posts:
HoleyGhost · 15/03/2013 18:35

How about asking job centre etc for help with interview technique? The fact that they've called you for interviews means they think you could do the jobs, it is just a matter of convincing them you'd be the best fit out of the candidates they have

MrsKoala · 15/03/2013 19:08

what size, height, body shape are you OP?

what kind of look would you like if you could go shopping?

mysteryfairy · 15/03/2013 19:54

I know this wasn't the intention when you started the thread but please do post your size and height. If you are a tall size 12 for instance I have a pair of Dorothy Perkins tall skinny jeans size 10 which are a far too generous 10 for me. They have been sat on the eBay pile for months with tags still on and I would be so delighted to post them to you. Have lots of other stuff I would be happy to part with if you can give hints but jeans is what you mentioned.

TheCrackFox · 15/03/2013 20:01

Remember to return your broken jeans to Lidl!!

MrsKoala · 15/03/2013 20:29

Yes, i agree with mystery, i am currently having a very strict sort out before we emigrate. i have loads of clothes in good condition i would happily post to you - it can be my Friday random acts of kindness deed. i also have loads of makeup free gift bits, like estee lauder lip glosses i have never used as totally wrong colour for me, which you are more than welcome to have (otherwise i will bin them).

as for highlights, when i was going thru tougher times i dyed mine over with my natural colour as i decided bland coloured, but shiny, hair all over was better than grown out roots. Aldi sell dye for a couple of quid. atm i use poundland dark brown to do my greys and it's better than nutrisse for lasting and coverage.

Doowrah · 16/03/2013 17:21

Hi, again...I took the jeans back..they were very good about it. I am 5'6" and a size 16/18 in jeans depending on generosity of cut. If I could I'd just like a pair of jeans that don't fall down my backside, slight flare or straights some tan/brown ankle/knee boots...standard 40 yr old fare really. I do like dresses as well and am as we speak drooling over an orange Myleen Klass number at Littlewoods but t'is £60!!!! Thanks mysteryfairy and MrsKoala...your kindness has cheered me up.

OP posts:
QueenCadbury · 16/03/2013 18:40

I don't mean this to sound cruel in any way but what are you wearing to interviews? You're obviously capable of doing the job as you wouldn't be short listed but maybe you're just not looking groomed enough? I know looks shouldn't matter but unfortunately first impressions do count.

If your hairs a mess is there any way of putting it up to make it look neater?

Do you have any friends/family that can lend you stuff to wear? Even accessories such as a good handbag? Or a generous relative that could give you a little bit of money to buy something?

As others have said if you have a birthday coming up can you ask for vouchers to get something for yourself?

MrsKoala · 16/03/2013 19:22

I have pm'd you OP :)