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Style and beauty

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Help me look better please!

16 replies

Beechview · 12/03/2013 12:44

2 people have told me recently that I 'need to take more care of myself'. Theyre telling me I'm looking shit basically.
I'm not bothered that they've told me as they're both people who care about me but I feel depressed that I must look so bad that they felt the need to tell me (neither of them are dh who would never say such a thing even if he thought it)
I do realise that they are right.
I had a baby almost 6 months ago at 40.
I have put on a lot of weight and am in the obese bmi range.
I am tired and my skin looks bad.
I have spots.
My hair is falling out.

I have taken some action and am walking a lot and doing an exercise dvd 4 times a week. I am trying to eat well though its hard and I fall off the wagon regularly.
I have lost 1/2 a stone.

How can I improve the way I look so I start to look better?

OP posts:
TerraNotSoFirma · 12/03/2013 13:33

I hear you, I met someone I used to work with and they didn't recognise me :(

I too have made a start but have a way to go and a stone to lose.
I would start with getting your brows threaded and tinted, lashes also tinted.
Defining the eyes goes a long way to making you look less tired.

Hair falling out is normal at this stage after having a baby, how's your hair other than the falling out.
I'm having a Brazilian blow dry done which I am hoping will stop the scruffy ponytail look.

Beechview · 12/03/2013 13:41

Thanks TerraNotSoFirma. I have dark colouring so no need for tint for me and I get my eyebrows threaded every few weeks. I have fairly dark circles and bags under my eyes so they still look crap Sad

My hair is dry, straight and dull.

Its shit isn't it but at least we're doing something!

OP posts:
MerryMarigold · 12/03/2013 13:47

6 months ago. Give yourself a break if I were you! I've just started getting myself together and my kids are 4. (Tho I admit it's a bit late). I would just keep doing what you're doing slowly and gradually. I think the weight was the biggest thing for me. Looking better in clothes again, I bought more things and was more concerned about how I looked.

MerryMarigold · 12/03/2013 13:47

(For me, it was a 10day detox which really kickstarted me)

TerraNotSoFirma · 12/03/2013 13:50

Don't put too much pressure on yourself, you've just had a baby.
I'm just starting to get back into looking after myself and doing a bit of grooming and mine are 22 months and 3years.
I swore I wouldn't 'let myself go' as they say, but boy did I ever. (And I'm a make up artist)
Whilst I don't give a stuff what others think of my appearance, I know that when I look my best (or just better) I feel so much better and my mood improves greatly.

Beechview · 12/03/2013 14:06

I definitely think the weight is the biggest issue and I am trying with that. Its just horrible to look in the mirror and see an overweight frump looking back.

I want to think that I don't give a stuff what others think but I do.
If those people had to tell me what they did, God knows what others are thinking.

OP posts:
Rooble · 12/03/2013 14:19

I was in exactly the same boat after giving birth - didn't get it sorted till DS started school!
Is there anything you can do to ensure you can get a really good night's sleep maybe once a week? I've been doing the 5:2 diet for a couple of months - hasn't had a massive impact on my weight (because I'm too greedy on the 5 days!), but I find on my two fast days I have a bath and go to bed really early which has a really impact on eye-bags.
Also, how well balanced is your diet? Are you having plenty of fruit, veg and water? This tends to leave my skin clearer.
Also using a really good exfoliant then plenty of moisturiser (and I've been using boots rosehip oil this winter) can really make your skin brighter and less grey.
The weight does make the biggest difference to be honest, but you'll get there in the end, I'm sure. Good luck!

Beechview · 12/03/2013 14:29

A product recommendation! Thanks Rooble. I'm willing to give anything a try so rosehip oil it is.
My diet has been ok. I do eat fruit and veg but I was also eating too much chocolate, cakes and crisps too. I've cut right back on those now.

OP posts:
Callycat · 12/03/2013 15:38

Unless those people have also had a baby six months ago, I'd be telling them to feck off.

Sonotkylie · 12/03/2013 16:36

Dark circles under eyes can be a sign of iron deficiency. Try snacking on dried apricots. Helps DS ...! Also how about a multi vitamin generally and if you need a boost (I confess to drinking it daily!) a swift glass of Berocca. Apparently its all vitamins but to me it is a major upper but without the price tag or criminal record. Feeling a bit less tired will help you feel better about yourself. I had DS when I was a few months off 40 and it is tough but if you can feel less tired, then you will enjoy it all more and so on and so on. Good luck. You are doing all the right things.
Oh and can you persuade DP or someone to let you have an evening a week for pampering. Even a bath and magazine with lots of body lotion after and time to cut your nails in peace will make you feel that you are more groomed and back in charge.

Sonotkylie · 13/03/2013 09:04

One other thing and not to worry you because its very common especially after having had a baby in which case it often sorts itself out, is to have your thyroid function checked. Talk to your GP about it. Check is just a blood test and its very treatable and makes a huge difference. Putting on weight, tiredness and hair loss are all symptoms - although equally may be because you've had a baby. But if those that know you are concerned it is worth checking it out. I had whacky thyroid levels after DS, found by accident, and now entirely sorted out and a couple of my friends have been diagnosed since. Each of us were amazed how much impact it had.

Maraki · 13/03/2013 10:09

Weight warchers online worked for me, I get M&S ready meals (count on us or fuller for longer) when I am too tired to cook. I didn't tackle my weight until DD was 4, I was just too tired and sleep deprived to do anything for myself sooner. I really did let myself go, I have so many embarassing photos!
Lots of great style advice on this board which will help you chose some inexpensive casual clothes and make you feel better.
Don't be hard on yourself, it's tough having a baby. Hair loss is mormal 3-6 months after birth and it will settle in a couple of months.

Beechview · 13/03/2013 10:24

Thank you everyone.
I've been reading through and have come up with a 30 day plan to kick start things and give me a boost. A short term thing is easier for me to handle at the moment.
I'm aiming to lose 10lbs in that time which will take me out of the obese range. Ive lost 1/2 a stone cutting down on junk so hopefully, my thyroid isnt an issue.
I've told dh I'm going for a massage and a facial this weekend and to get my haircut next weekend.
Basically I'm going for the 3 meals a day snack only on fruit approach and just carry on with the walking and exercise dvd.
I've been to Holland and Barret and got some multi vits and rosehip oil. I also bought some jojoba oil to start oil cleansing with and coconut oil for my hair.
I need to do this regularly.

OP posts:
HoneyStAngelo · 13/03/2013 10:28

If you are losing weight then brighten your look with a new scarf, h&m do cheap and colourful ones. A new bag in a bright colour etc. I find accessories make a difference as people will comment on them rather than clothing and that will give you a boost.

You could look at taking a good B vitamin supplement but get advice first, it makes a difference to me but we are all different.

Having only had a baby six months ago and now caring for your baby, realistically you are not going to look like Camilia Alves or any of the other super models and celebrities who have babies!

Panoxyl used to be the best thing for spots but they've discontinued it so it will be trial and error what works for you. Being over zealous and stripping your face of oil with harsh products won't help.

I'm currently using baby wipes as a disposeable flannel which I soak in warm water, apply a facial exfoliator, I use all different ones, and gently rub the wet baby wipe in circular motions to exfoliate.

I then wash/wipe it off and rinsed out the wipe and then run under the hot two and then open it out and spread over my face under my eyes and it seems to open my pores from the warmth and the heat from the bath water and then I pat my face dry with a towel and after drying myself I use a mild toner and a light moisturiser.

The hair loss should gradually stop, I used to moult terribly after I had my children but now many years later my hair is thicker than ever before, so don't worry you will stop shedding!

I think the people who said those things to you are rather rude. They could have suggested that if you need some time for yourself they are willing to look to babysit. Thereby giving you the opportunity for some me time, or to catch up on sleep or have or do any beauty treatments.

Beechview · 13/03/2013 10:40

Good idea HoneyStAngelo I don't have many accessories so a scarf and some new earings will be lovely.
Your cleansing routine sounds very similar to the oil cleansing method except for the ocm, you use a flannel soaked in hot water after using an oil on your face to cleanse.

Unfortunately both people don't live nearby and one hadn't seen me since the baby was born til the weekend and the other hadnt seen me for a couple of months. They were probably surprised that I still looked rubbish!

OP posts:
Sonotkylie · 13/03/2013 16:28

Good for you. And good luck. E Bay is good for scarves too. I also swear by new knickers for improving posture ...! Maybe wait until after the 30 days as any you buy now will be far too small by then!

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