Dreading 'Dress-Down Friday'

[retrocutie]

OK, so I can do smart. I have a few good quality skirts, trousers and a couple of jackets and good quality shirts. I have nice shoes. I wear tights. I do my hair and wear make-up. I can look nice. People often make nice comments about my appearance at work.

However, at the weekend I turn into a bag lady. I have no style. I look awful. But never mind - it's the weekend, and I seldom go anywhere nice so it doesn't matter.

The problem is, I have just started a new job and they have 'Dress-Down Friday'. I am that anxious about it, I seriously considered turning the offer down. I just can't do 'relaxed casual' or whatever you call it. I just can't. My new office is very formal, but they have this Friday dress-down thing and everybody wears jeans and stuff, but they still really look nice (I was interviewed on a Friday).

Help me - how do you do 'Dress-Down Friday'? Can you recommend some combinations of outfits? I don't want to look underdressed, I would rather look a bit overdressed. Also, is there anybody else like me, or am I the only one?

Thanks.

Dh does dress down - he takes his tie off! The whole thing is such a minefield.

Sorry to get into psychobabble, but from what I have read you have certain beliefs about how you dress outside work and have worked yourself up to believe that you just can't do 'relaxed casual'. Being in a new job you may think that all eyes will be on you too ... but they won't be! After the first Dress Down Friday you will have a better idea of what everyone else is wearing. I am not a fashionista but I don't think you can go wrong in a pair of well fitting jeans and a long sleeved top that fits well. Ask your friends as to what looks best? If you think you can, you can, if you think you can't you can't. Hopefully you will look back in six months and wonder why you worried? Good luck

Ok, dob you can do smart.....so stop thinking casual and think business casual. A nice pair of fitted jeans (if you can't do this go to a store that has personal shoppers). Team with an existing pair of heeled shoes or boots, an existing white shirt and a smart blazer.

Good luck and enjoy Fridays.

So, not dob. Stupid effing phone

You can gradually start adding statement jewellery over the next few Fridays but don't stress about it straight away. Maybe done bracelets in the colour of your shoes/blazer to start with.

My new firm has dress down July, August and December. Awful...

No help but I feel your pain.

What pixi2 said! Well fitting jeans, crisp shirt, tailored blazer. I'd probably go for a mid blue jean, White shirt and navy blazer. You could add more colour with accessories or scarf once you are feeling more confident!

I do dress down Friday wearing jeans boots, long sleeve t-shirt and some jewellery from eg white stuff

I am a total scruff normally. Dress down Friday is still dressy for me

Dress down Friday can be really difficult as it's far too easy to look fluffy/over fashionable/sexy, any or all of which can, depending on your workplace, look wrong.

I think you need to approach it as another day of workwear. I wouldn't wear jeans until you are more sure of what is actually worn by the successful, high reputation women in the workforce. Try perhaps a neutral pair of trousers, with flat loafers, a basic top and either a jacket that isn't a Mon-Thurs one (different less-officey colour, or more embellishment?) or a very structured cardigan (channel Chanel?). Or a dress or skirt with a (not too garish) pattern, rather than in a plain business colour, but again with jacket (which you can take off if you want to go a notch down, but put back on if there's a sudden important meeting).

I would wear a knitted dress over leggings/opaques with boots and a nice necklace. Our office is casual, jeans & trainers are even fully accepted. We can't wear flip flops or shorts, that's it.
I used to wear jeans a lot but found myself scruffy. So now I go for the dress/leggings/boot combo. Comfy, looks nice. Total winner

Thanks for your replies. OK, I don't have any of the things suggested, so I am going to have to go shopping. I don't even possess a pair of jeans! To give you an idea of how bad it is, I am still in Maternity clothes and my baby is 6 months old! Actually, this year I have decided to really sort myself out.

May I ask which shops are good for 'relaxed casual' kind of clothes? Thanks.

PS: So glad I'm not the only one who struggles with this.

Retro I would try johnlewis.com, massive selection and you don't have to leave your sofa!

Primark have indigo jeans in various styles (not sure what shape you are so what would best suit you?) for £10ish. H&M are good for long sleeve t-shirts and have lots of nice ones that wash well for £8. I also got a nice shirt in there for £8 recently. New Look also good for jeans and have a great selection of shoes as well.

What sort of styles do you like on other people?

We do dress down Fridays in my office. Yesterday I wore hobbs knitted dress and lk bennett knee high boots. I have a bunch of dresses that I wouldn't wear mon to thurs as they're not sufficiently business like but they are at the very smart end of smart caual.

Last week was white shirt, khaki jodhpurs and riding boots. I think last week I wore black sweater over the shirt, but other times I will wear it with a blazer. Other times will do the same outfit but with black jeggings, black slim fit trousers or black cigarette trousers.

On rare occasions I wear jeans they are smart jeans and I wear them with a nice top, eg a cowl neck top or bateau top. One girl at the office wears very pretty lace/victorianna/frilly type tops from Oasis with jeans.

This is just my look but hope gives you a few ideas! Congratulations on the new job!!

Personally, I'd find a top, boots and smartish trousers you feel comfortable in. I do black cord or navy jeggins and expensive flat long riding boots boots bought in JL's sale.

Tops are very personal, mine are Seasalt and debenham's longish and patterned. The mum at school who always looks effortlessly elegant does plain tops, nice necklaces and long cardigans or nice jackets.

I'm not tall enough for long cardigans and I have small boobs and big hips, short suit jackets I can do, longer relaxed ones never fit.

As someone else posted, I'd leave jeans until you see what everyone else does.

DH does dress down Friday, but he just wears M&S cords in winter, smartish navy or olive cotton trousers and a vaguely coordinating rugby/polo shirt.

He only does this because I throw them at him, otherwise he wares his shirt and tie.

No good asking what the women wear, he'd only notice how short their skirts were.

He just doesn't do clothes.