I just don't know what to do with my hair.

[MrsPennyapple]

I seem to have spent the last few years going through this cycle of growing my hair so that I can do more with it, then when it has grown, just tying it back in a pony tail. I then think I should cut it, as it would be easier to make presentable. I'm back at the permanent pony tail stage and am hating it, but just don't have a clue what to do.

My hair is very curly when I make the effort to style it, but I don't often have time. I had layers cut into it, so that means that when I tie it back, the top is too short to get into the pony tail, so I have all this stupid fluffy stuff poking out all around my face, which then requires a load of gel and clips to control it.

I mc'd in June, and am still in the post-pregnancy-shed-ALL-of-your-hair stage, along with accompanying gorgeous "halo" of new hair growth. I am now pg again, but at what point does the pregnancy-non-hair-loss take over? I am sick of finding my hairs all over everything, and fishing handfuls of hair out of the plughole. (Another vote in favour of cutting it short.)

I say I don't have time to do much with my hair right now, but once the baby is born I'll have even less. Normally I'd think that this was a vote in favour of keeping it long, so that it's out of my way in a pony tail. But given that a pony tail is neither quick NOR tidy, I'm not convinced.

I sound like a right stunner, don't I? It's really getting me down, I look a mess all the time. Can anyone suggest any suitable hairstyles for a 35 yr old with curly hair, who is not very good at styling? Incidentally, I don't do straighteners. My hair is so curly it would be fighting a losing battle from the outset. I accepted a long time ago that I simply have to work with what I have. Sorry to be so gloomy, it's just I've been googling hairstyles for days and am just not seeing anything!

I should also have mentioned that I'm getting married in May. I've been keeping it long thinking that it would give me more options re "wedding hair" but it occurred to me that if I just have it cut immediately afterwards, my wedding pics will be out of date straight away!

Please help! Tell me pros and cons of cutting it / keeping it long. Suggest celebs with curly short-ish hair that I could look at. (I don't know anything about celebs so no idea who anyone is.)

Just don't suggest the MN hair cut.

Thanks :)

Bumping to see if the morning crew can help.

Final bump. Please folks, I'm desperate. I look and feel like shit.

Morning :)

No real advice apart from finding a really good stylist and having a proper chat with them.

I wouldn't dream of suggesting the MN hair cut

Thank you Valium

The last hairdresser I went to made a right mess of it. I hadn't had it coloured for a year, but she insisted it would be fine to just colour the ends, and she'd comb it through to blend it. I did suggest that the colour could have faded in the space of a year, but she swore it would be fine. Obviously I ended up with two-tone hair, there was a clear line between old and new dye. (Had I known that would become fashionable I may have left it, but at the time it wasn't.) I had to go back and get her to colour the rest. She also cut the shortest layers too short, giving a lovely poodle effect to the top of my head. I don't think I'll go back there. Maybe a different one :)

Back It's a bit of a mix. Parts of it do make nice cork screw curls, but there is one particular patch which always forms into a ringlet that a Victorian child would be jealous of! It's like a sausage, and no matter how many times I separate it out, it always re-groups into a sausage.

I think my hair is fairly thick. I use a wide tooth comb if I'm styling it, but if I need to tie it back I brush it, which really is the worst thing as it just makes it all bushy and frizzy, but it's the only way to get it tied back.

I find that when I cut my hair shorter it becomes much higher maintenance and that I can't get away with not properly styling it, let alone just simply blowdrying. I was on steroids for quite a long time last year and the year before which made my hair really dry and brittle and a lot of it snapped off and looked shit so I cut it to bob length. Nice, but really high maintenance. Then, like you, I got pregnant and since then have decided to grow it longer again as I know that when the baby comes I will have limited time and I can do more things to make it look nice quickly than if it were shorter. I may find that's not so easy when I have post pregnancy tufts, who knows! It doesn't have to be just a ponytail. I can put mine up in a (casual) chignon or sort of bun (not quite long enough but may be by the time the baby's due) and I also use a lot of decorative clips, scarves, flowers etc.

I'm also thinking in terms of being able to tie it up to avoid getting sick in it!

I wouldn't worry too much about your wedding hair style being out of date if you cut it afterwards. I do a lot of bridal make up and quite a lot of brides use hair pieces for their wedding hair anyway, so the hairstyle in the photos is rarely a representation of their real hair. Obviously it depends how drastically you'd want to cut your hair afterwards though. Going from a big fancy up-do to a pixie crop may be a bit more radical in the case of wedding photos being out of date.

L'Oreal Elvive Exraordinary hair oil is wonderful for taming frizzy hair and stopping the sausage look!

Have a look at this Pinterest board - full of lovely curly shorter styles pinterest.com/molly_aaker/haircut-inspiration/

I had mine long for my wedding then hacked it off a week after honeymoon! The pictures weren't even back from the printers! It's weird though, that kind of thing matters before the event, but after, you probably won't mind at all.

I'm also in 'ponytail hell'. I've grown mine for 3 years to bra strap length (dead straight - what I'd give for curls!) and now toying with a pixie crop!

Good luck, I say go for the chop

Thank you everyone.

I don't ever, ever blow dry it. Probably it's a case of not knowing how to do it properly, but whenever I've tried it just goes huge, and so fluffy that it takes about four days until I can do anything with it again.

I have this idea that if it's short I'll be able to just run my fingers through with a bit of gel, and be done in two minutes. Having had very short hair before, I do know that this is do-able for me, but I'm caught in this dilemma of wondering, if I cut it again, will I just want to grow it again?

Thanks for the pinterest link, I will check that out.

Ahh, OK. See, I have the opposite problem. If I don't blow dry my hair, especially when shorter, it becomes a giant fluffy mess (probably enough to frighten the baby!). If you can leave yours to dry naturally and it look good then find a hairdresser who specialises in curly hair who will know how best to cut it so it falls into a nice shape easily.

have u tryed leaving it down and using argon oil xx

Back2Two a depressing non-style that makes me feel fairly crap

Sums it up right there! If it looked ok it would be fine. If it was quick and easy it would be fine. It's none of those things. I live on the Isle of Man, nowhere near Brighton, but thanks anyway :)

HairbyJade I haven't used argon oil, never heard of it actually. Where would I get that?

I am going to phone the salon I've previously avoided because it is very expensive and ask about a consultation. SIL goes there and loves it. I'm also going to ask if they have someone who knows about curly hair, that's a good tip, thanks.

I'm certainly leaning towards cutting it. I'll google loose ringlet bob, and see if that looks like something I could manage.

Thank you everyone for your advice, it is really helping.

Whats the MN haircut? Sounds like a reet winner....

Video

Instant layers. Many swear by it, but it doesn't work for everyone.

Maya's not very far away. I'd leave it longer and cut after the wedding.

Not Maya,May!!