anyone fancy going grey next year?

[notactuallyme]

so, i've been toying with this idea for ages (am nearly forty) but always end up dying it. i thnk i'm going to go for it - anyone want a support thread for intermittent updates?

[knitknack]

It's so great to see women embracing their natural colour and looking so beautiful!

[Jellykat]

Those women are stunning!

I haven't dyed for @ 6 months, and just checked under a good light, lots of grey in there, but i'm lucky as the darker root colour isn't far off the dyed atm, so its all blending pretty well.

Only trouble is, a lot of the grey seems to be sticking up at right angles to my head! Maybe it'll end up spikey
Spent years in my youth trying to get it to do that..

[BehindLockNumberNine]

I was a dull brown with grey / white streaks for years and years. Combined with being overweight I looked rubbish.
I then lost some weight and to celebrate had my hair highlighted. Twice over the space of a year. Cost a fortune. Had lots of positive compliments.

BUT, I am 41. I can't really afford to keep colouring my hair. I know it is not an awful lot of money but it is still money we can put to better use elsewhere.
And then there are the chemicals in hairdye...

I currently have a lightly layered chin length bob. My hair was last highlighted in July so I have obvious re-growth.
I think I will go and get my hair cut into a shorter layered bob, buy some purple shampoo and embrace the growing out of the rest of the colour.
Now that I have lost some weight and can dress better I hope / think I will be able to carry the grey off better...

So, Operation Silver 2013 commences here

[TheFarSide]

Yuleheart the hair in both your pics looks fab! Clearly there is also a prejudice against older women having long hair as well as grey hair.

[yuleheart]

[Operation Silver 2013] it is!!

[notactuallyme]

Love the new title! We must use Operation Silver 2013 when we run out of space. I saw someone in a feature (my age) with long curly grey hair - looked fab, but helped that she was stunning.
Might be a place here for the odd reminder that we are aiming for chic silver fox not witch
Still impatiently waiting for a few more inches of grey!

[FirstPersonPlural]

I love this thread. I click here everytime I have a wibble at the mirror (and currently the pregnancy hormones are running rampant, so it feels quite often!) That said, I know without a doubt that my skin looks better against my silver/grey/dk brown natural tones versus the dyed unnatural colour.

But, again, I really wish there was more positive media coverage and more celebrity women in their 30's and 40's wearing their grey with pride.

[notactuallyme]

Maybe I should move it to style and beauty?

Don't do it - by the time the baby's a year it'll just be nappies in boots, not dye! I too think the white grey suits my skin much better.
Easier to know I'm not on my own doing this. We should all meet in 6 mths for my 40th to update visually!

[naturelover]

I've just read this whole thread.

I'm having a huge dilemma over whether to continue dying my hair or not. I'm 38 and my natural colour is "mouse". I can't afford salon colour, so for the last couple of years I've been doing semi-permanents at home every 6 weeks or so. The problem is that I can never match my natural colour. It always ends up darker and "flat" IYSWIM. Too dark makes me look washed out and I'm convinced that this obviously dyed look is making me look older than I am.

But it takes courage to go against the grain and NOT dye. I mean, if you look around you could be forgiven for thinking that women only go grey in their 60s! (And men go grey in their 30s and 40s ...)

I don't have much grey, it's on my temples and parting. I love all those pics you have posted of older women with long glossy silver hair, but alas my hair is short and I'll never be as beautiful as those women either!

If I decide to NOT dye any more I figure I won't have to deal with the in-between stage of growing out colour. Even though I use semi-perm colour I can tell that there is build-up (which always looks brassy after a while) at the ends.

How about this for a strategy:

• stop dying it
  
• get hair cut more often so that it always looks well styled
  
• use better shampoo so the condition is always good
  
• continue to focus on diet and exercise to look healthy (I'm tall and athletic/slim which I appreciate helps me look my age)
  
• always wear make-up (I'm lazy about this)
  
• wear more of the bright colours that I KNOW suit me?
  

I'm hoping the above will counteract the potential ageing effect of some grey hairs. What do you think?

[notactuallyme]

That is also my strategy nature so i can only agree it is a good one!
I think the proble is the tyranny of pretence at youth; which at its worst leads to puffy faced/ puffer lipped/ freeze framed slebs who don't look twenty but look like strange photoshopped beings. I am quite happy about this now - just want to get more grey in!
Also - why are you dying your hair? To attract a mate? For self esteem? To look young? For other women? I'm trying to work out which of those apply to me, and why it matters.

[naturelover]

I think the reason I'm dying it is because it's going to be years (10? more?) before it's fully grey and I somehow don't like the mix of brown and grey. B the fact is that my natural grey-streaked colour does flatter my skintone much more than the too-dark dyed look. I suspect some nice highlights would look good but I am not willing or able to spend that amount of money. And the whole tyranny of it annoys me! I'm by no means a rebel but it feels quite non-conformist to stick two fingers up to the whole norm of dying hair. A whole industry worth a lot of money! The whole thing is such a palaver, whether you go to a salon or do it at home, it takes TIME! I'd rather be reading a good book I think.

Thanks so much for this thread - it's giving me confidence. FWIW DH thinks the grey hairs are fine (he has more than me!)

[Aquelven]

yuleheart I don't think your links look witchy at all, they're fab. If yours is like that it will look stunning silver or grey instead of mud brown.

If it's any help, when I was going through the transit I speeded up getting the dye out by using those kits you can get from Boots for removing hair dye when it's gone wrong, or just too dark. (Just search "colour remover" on Boots site) Plus regular use of Head & Shoulders which helps fade hair colour. Near the end when it was looking just a bit muddy blonde, I sprayed it with Sun In before drying. It soon was light enough that the silver coming through was indistinguishable
Wouldn't go back to dying it now for anything! I love my " platinum" silver/ white hair & wear it shoulder length not all cropped off.

[notactuallyme]

I'm definitely not going for a pixie crop, have decided to go shoulder length. I'm so excited - weird!

[ThreeBeeOneGee]

I'm still very impatient for my grey silver to grow all the way through to the ends, but looking at the photos of me from Christmas and New Year, the transition isn't actually that noticeable, which has made me feel more confident about continuing. By this time next year I'll be getting the last dyed ends cut off!

[PessimisticMissPiggy]

Has anyone with darker hair used the colour remover kits? I was looking at them and considering giving it a go but was wary when it said about greys might have absorbed more colour than other hairs.

I'm worried it'll go patchy and look shit.

[yuleheart]

Emmylou Harris rocking the grey hair

pinterest.com/search/pins/?q=emmylou+harris

[notactuallyme]

Hi misspiggy i haven't tried, as henna is apparently permanent and can't be coloured over, removed etc.
I now have a halo of grey/ white and am quite excited. Straightened my hair yesterday and it's quite noticeable. I wonder how short I can actually beat to go though, as I have spent several years growing it long.

[chocoluvva]

Takes deep breath.

Puts hand up.

Asks to join.

Time, cost and the principle of accepting that greying hair is normal - attempting to set a good example for my teenage daughter are my reasons.

I like my caramel highlights and they give the illusion of body to my fine hair, but the thought of spending so much time and money at the hairdressers year in year out is a bit depressing.

Verrrrrrry nervous though!

[TheFarSide]

Welcome choco.

Normally I top up my roots with a semi-permanent dye every two weeks, but I haven't touch it since a week before Xmas (although I did put in some rather thick highlights to help disguise the grey regrowth).

It's pretty noticeable already and I am swinging between feeling liberated and feeling incredibly self-conscious about the half inch of regrowth.

I think it's scary because it's a big change in identity - I'm trying to re-imagine myself as a wise and stylish grey haired middle-aged woman (as opposed to a youthful dark haired woman).

[TalkinPeace2]

I stopped dying my hair years ago. Its long, but always worn up or neatly plaited. The grey is growing in via a gradually widening white streak above my right temple.
People ask where I had the highlight done !
And my hair is naturally shiny because I put very few chemicals onto it.

[notactuallyme]

welcome chocoluvva - think of what you could spend £80 every six weeks on?

Stick with liberated farside - if one crumbles, we all crumble!

peace - nice timely pep talk.

When shall we put photos on our profiles? (Except I want to stay anonymous so will have to hold a big mask up!)

[RollerCola]

Has anyone used a white toner to lighten blonde hair? I have a (probably stupid) theory that if I start to lighten my currently mid-blonde highlighted hair to a more ash/white blonde then the grey/white bits won't be so noticeable when they grow through. I could then gradually stop highlighting and let the natural grey take over.

I don't mean by actually bleaching it lighter as that would damage it, but by using a blue toner to take away the yellow.

[TalkinPeace2]

silly thing - how many of you actually know what colour mix your natural hair is?

a dear friend went grey at 17, dyed for 30 years and now has let it all fade and grow out leaving the most amazing salt and pepper stripes - that look stunning with red dresses and high heels

less is more ...

[notactuallyme]

80% grey.......

[TalkinPeace2]

which grey .... and what 80%

I'm originally dark blonde, so my 'grey' is in fact white
and its come in as a stripe rather than salt and pepper
my cousin is battleship grey, evenly spread among her natural black