What do people really wear to funerals?

[miche8]

I have my grandmothers funeral tomorrow, this is the first time I've ever been to one only staying for the service a cremation then I have to dash back for the school run, could I get away with dark purple skinny jeans because they fit me tucked into tall flat boots, have a black top and a black coat, so you would only actually see a small amount of purple from mid thigh to knee.

Really don't want to buy black trousers, I wouldn't wear them again and they attract dog hair.

God that does sound very daunting. Like I said upthread probably the last thing you want to be fretting about is what to wear. The torusers dont sound like jeans jeans iyswim. Just wear those.

I hope it goes well (as well as can be expected) tomorrow.

I would stop worrying and wear your trousers, it's stressful enough for you.

Sounds absolutely fine to me.

I never wear black, so I'd always go to a funeral in something dark or muted, but never black.

The most important thing is that you are appropriately covered, so no short skirts or low cut tops.

Hope it goes ok. Don't worry about your trousers. They sound just fine.
Could you ask someone from school/friend/neighbour to take your kids home after school. You might not want to have to juggle too much.

How long is the coat? If it is at least mid-thigh then it will be fine, I'd be very surprised if at this time of year you will want to remove your coat during the service. I've been to church this morning and even in a radiator seat didn't loosen my layers after arriving.

Sorry for your loss.

At my Grandma's funeral this year people dressed somberly (if that is a word!). I wore black trousers and a black jumper with a grey scarf to break up the black, my auntie wore grey trousers and a nude blouse, the men all wore suits. Your outfit sounds fine to me.

I would ditto the people that say the people who stood out were those wearing the only black thing they owned, I did feel it was inappropriate to wear a very low cut lycra maxi dress to a funeral!

I hope tomorrow goes as well as it can.

Is the service in the church or crematorium OP? Sadly I've now been to more funerals than I can count. You (as the close family) will either follow the coffin in to the church or it will be there already and you will just go in and sit down. You may find that it makes you tearful just being there - is a very intense sort of atmosphere - or you may not feel anything or you may feel like you want to laugh. Don't worry about how you feel (though try not to laugh obviously because that may confuse other people). If it helps you find something to fix your eyes on and look at that. There will be some prayers and a hymn or two and usually some sort of tribute talking about the person's life. This is often a great opportunity to remember - and laughter is very appropriate there. At a crematorium there will be some sort of final prayers and then usually the coffin moves out of sight or some curtains are drawn. Then you leave. There's usually a lot of hugging afterwards and often some tears. Take tissues with you but don't worry if you don't use them. Nobody can predict how they will react. I find seeing others cry very, very hard. The worst thing for me about a funeral is hearing other people cry. But that's the point of a funeral service - to give everybody a chance to say 'I loved this person and I'm sad that they have died'. Is there anything else you want to know?

Purple is also a traditional mourning colour, so you will be fine if anyone comments.

At many family funerals i have been to there has been no formal dress code, some have dark somber clothes on, some have jeans, some are in work clothes (think hi-viz clothing), but no one cared what anyone else as wearing, the fact was they attended and thats what was important.

Op I hope everything went of ok today.

I hope all went well today miche, and it wasn't too daunting seeing all those family members you haven't seen for so long.

Reporting back, everything went well, was very quick, I wore a black fitted jumper with the purple jeggings, brown riding boots and black coat that came to mid thigh and a purple & navy striped scarf was happy with my outfit and felt comfortable, was very cold so didn't take the coat off. All the men wore black suits not many women there but they all looked very stylish and they didnt wear black I noticed quite a bit of purple, purple coats, grey coats, purple scarves/pashmina, grey waterfall cardigans, and a grey stripey knitted dress that I actually own too, even the oldies didn't wear black saw an older lady wearing a long navy& red tartan skirt. Whoever said that black was a bit dated for a funeral was right.

Thanks for everyone's opinion on the outfit, and the person who told me what to expect and for those asking how it went x

I am glad that everything went well. I hope you;re OK - I always find funerals make me exhausted. So hopefully you have a restful evening planned.

When my Dad died one person turned up to the funeral in a pillar-box red suit. You know what? The important thing to me was that she made the effort to be there, not the colour of her outfit.

I am glad it went well, Miche and hope you are feeling OK.

Also glad it went well and you felt ok in what you wore.

TK maxx do LBD that are perfect for funerals, mine is Calvin Klein. I'm only 35 but dh is older and we had a run on funerals