what will you NEVER wear because it will "make you your mum"

[MaureenCognito]

Always remember laughing at noddyholders posts about her mum and her penchant for silver chunky jewellery and flicky hair.

what item epitomises your mum?

a looker
with penchant for slacks
slack is an attitude not attire

SO many things fall into this category. This is why I wear odd things I expect.

I can't wear cotton jumpers. Ever. Or jumpers that are sort of flary and don't go in at the hem.

Earrings I struggle with but mostly, the sort with coloured beads.

Men's waterproof jackets. Or fleeces.

washed out looking jeans made for 'women' with that sort of tapered leg thing going on. Usually from M&S/charity shop/cotton traders. And elasticated waists.

nighties. I just cannot go there now.

Mainly it is the (short) hair though. I love my mum, I really do, but when she wears any sort of hat she looks like she is bald. Some people look great with short hair. Sometimes she does. But often it is a bit, well, I just wish she wouldn't. It seems to be some kind of rebellion.

She has her reasons. But I want to go at her with a pair of scissors. ykwim?

although thinking about this, I often wear stuff she wore when she was young...I have long hair I wear up, like she used to when she had some sense of style and nice coats and long skirts.

She was an icon when she was young. What went wrong? Am I going to go the same way?

Nighties... my mother wears those big T shirt things, usually with a very high percentage of polyester, with a simpering kitten or dopey looking teddy on the front and a slogan like "You're Cute!" She often buys me one for Christmas (once, thrillingly with matching slippers...).

Oh and the hair dye... pale Old Lady Orange, all one shade because "you don't want to waste good money at the hairdresser." Oh and "Your father used to think it was terrible for a lady to go grey." (Said when fixing her gaze on my odd strand of grey.) "You want to dye your hair the same colour as me. What's it called? Hang on, I'll get the box..." (Please don't.) Her friends all dye their hair either Old Lady Blonde or Old Lady Brown, apart from one, who is clearly no better than she should be, and gets hers done at the hairdresser.

Oh my mum's are lacey. It's horrid. She doesn't waft - she is built like a Teutonic heroine. Very muscular. With odd short hair.

And knee length wafty nighties.

I would never, ever tell her any of this. I love her too much. And I probably get it hideously wrong, too, if I am honest...

I wish my mum dressed like your mums she is in her 50's but thinks she is 20. goes out in short dresses and skirts and thinks she is cool. calls me and old woman (im her youngest at 23) she is a total embarassment to me.

Yes. The nighties. Cotton, sleeveless, mid calf from M&S with no knickers despie being disturbingly translucent... She once did her Rosemary Connelly video wearing it. I'm still traumatised.

And desperate hair that she gets cut all the time as she hates it over her face. It would be ok if she had a Dame Judi but its more escapee from bedlam. Mind you my aunt has only just stopped getting hers dyed "minky beige".

Anything tweed. She moved to the country ten years ago and started dressing like Sherlock Holmes.

Meggles76 My mother has special 'holiday' clothes too . The fuss when they go away - you'd think it would be easy, what with having all those special holiday outfits all ready and waiting, but no. Packing starts around a fortnight before a holiday, involves everything being laid out ready in a spare bedroom, and includes a last minute panic as she realises she is taking far too much stuff and is over the weight allowance for the plane.

You'd need a fucking holiday to get over the trauma of the packing.

My mom does fairly well clothing-wise but is always insisting on getting her hair chopped off. The second it starts to grow out and look nice (she would look lovely with a bob) she is calling her hairdresser. And she is never, ever satisfied with the job they've done.

OMG where to start? My mum is 70 today but I think she was born middle aged. She honestly doesn't seem to give a toss what she looks like (and she truly looks dreadful)
Tartan skirts/trousers are a particular favourite of hers. And anyone's cast offs. I remember her glee when her friend's mum had passed away and told her to take anything she wanted. She was 50 or so and the old lady was 80+, my mum was in raptures because of all the "almost new SO COMFY shoes.
Once she came to stay and I feel dreadful for saying this but it made me cringe to walk down the street with her - she was wearing her beloved tartan trousers with socks & sandals, a flowery shirt (sorry - blouse) and a man's fleece jacket.

Ah yes, scarves.

per una- literally everything she wears is from per una. she even buys the underwear range.

I used to love Per Una until somebody on mumsnet said those two all important words which repelled me evermore:

Audrey.
Roberts.

big-bum-elasticated-waist-old-lady-trousers.

ankle length and long sleeved brushed cotton night shirts (without any underwear)

Black trousers from M&S
Black mum boots from Clarks
Per una scarves
Dangly earrings in semi precious stones I have never heard of

An open shirt with a camisole underneath, cotton jackets with rolled up sleeves (think don Johnson in the 80's).

"I am obviously the same age as some of your mothers"

So am I. I will defend my Per Una jeans to the hilt. They are a perfect fit so I will wear them. So there!

pmsl @ audrey roberts

black top's and gypsy skirt, but I do wear them occasionally when I'm feeling particularly frumpy.

lol at Audrey,
occasionally if a bit heavy on teh old liquid eyeliner I look like Alma off corrie

high wasited trousers with a vest tucked in

You do realise that somewhere there's a thread full of teenagers writing exactly the same sort of stuff about US........."oh my days, you should see what my mum wears, I mean, wtf??"