wearing same wedding outfit twice (in black!!)

[Pattypooped]

I'm going to two weddings within 3 weeks of one another. The ladies getting married are in my close circle of friends and they are bridesmaids for one another.

Obviously this is a nightmare for us from a financial point of view - two lots of everything three weeks apart.

I haven't been to a wedding for years and have nothing smart to wear since my 'smart' clothes are all from before I had children and no longer fit. I'm a size 16 these days and find clothes shopping stressful and usually unsuccessful.

I have been really stressing out about this, especially since it's been the summer holidays and the children are with me, so I've struggled to get out looking for something.

I have finally bought a dress today in Monsoon. It's a long black maxi dress with a subtle flower detail in various colours. The little pink cardigan to match was a bit flimsy so I got one from Coast which was better made but in black. I have a pink fascinator and chunky pearl jewellery. In total I've spent about £250 without shoes and a bag (which I think I have already).

My question is this - is it ok to wear so much black to a wedding these days?

More importantly, can I get away with wearing this same outfit for both weddings? I've also had to kit out DD1 and I really don't have the money to buy a second outfit for me at this price. In total I will know 5 people (plus partners) at both weddings. I'm going to another wedding in March with a completely different set of friends so I'll definitely get some wear out of it.

Opinions??!

Firstly, I wouldn't spend £250 on an outfit for a wedding! Maybe I'm tight.

Secondly, if you're going to wear the same dress I would go for something plain that you make look different to each wedding. So a jacket to one and a wrap to another... Different hair and different shoes and jewellery etc. I would wear a black dress to a wedding.

If you have a budget of £250 you should be able to get one or even two outfits which are more wedding appropriate than black IMO.

I understand you may want to get something you can wear again hence the black or even that you may not want to stand out if you are uncomfortable about your new shape but I would perhaps try to find a dress which is slightly brighter - plum, teal etc - and shoes to match.

Fascinators are nice but you will never wear it again. If you get a stunning chunk necklace to glam up the outfit you could then wear it at other times and get more value from it.

Since you mention you can get to coast what about this type of dress? It's £95.

or this for £40

Re wearing the same outfit to both weddings - I probably would unless everyone else said they had two outfits as I might then feel uncomfortable at the second wedding (although only until I'd finished my first drink so perhaps I'd just do it anyway!!!)

Ask if your other female friends are wearing the same outfit. Or perhaps you could get a dress with a matching cardigan for one and a jacket in a different colour to the cardigan for the other so the outfits are not identical.

or this lovely colour!

I wouldn't think twice about wearing the same outfit, I've never understood why this is supposedly frowned upon. But then I've worn the same dress to pretty much every wedding I've been to (and almost wore it to my own :))

Black is probably fine these days, especially if it has a coloured pattern, and you're wearing coloured accessories with it. The main thing IMO is not looking like you're going to a funeral or to the office (and you won't, from what you've described!)

For £250 I agree you could return the dress and get two cheaper ones, though I know how difficult it can be to find one dress that fits and suits you, never mind two!

I think you can wear the same dress. Would you notice & comment if you saw someone in the same dress? I wouldn't. Quite frankly, I often can't remember what my own family members wore to an occasion.

Have fun!

If it were me, I'd take back whatever it was that cost the bulk of that £250, and spend the money on 2 outfits. The S&B experts on here regularly link to lovely dresses ranging from £20 - £60.

If I didn't have any money to spare, then I would have no problem wearing the same outfit - it's your company they want, not a fashion parade - but as you seemingly have a very healthy budget, then I'd spend it on a couple of outfits and keep the change in my purse.

Is this your dress? If so then it looks more weddingy than I imagined as it has lots of colour on it.

I'd be tempted to have a colourful cardigan/jacket though instead of black.

I'd wear the same outfit twice. There is something very satisfying about getting your money's worth. On the day no one will notice. If you feel you need to do something differently change your hair.
Dont waste money on cheaper stuff just so you have 2 outfits.

I wear the same 'best' dress that I have had from Monsoon for over twenty a number of years. Who really cares what anyone apart from the bride wears?

I can't believe you would spend over £250 on a wedding outfit, although I think it is not appropriate to wear black to a wedding (or white). I bought a very nice maxi dress from Asda a couple of weeks ago - cost £18, and I am a size 16 18 so I appreciate it is not easy when you are a bit large.

Because we want to feel good about ourselves and comfortable in public. Not rocket science and not really anyone else's business how much the OP has spent.

I know it is not anyone else's business but the OP has clearly stated that 'Obviously this is a nightmare for us from a financial point of view - two lots of everything three weeks apart.'

I genuinely think that it is sad that the first thing people seem to think about when invited to a wedding is what to wear and how much it will cost.

I guess I am a lot older than most mumsnetters and perhaps immune to 'appearances' but to me going to a wedding or any other function is about seeing your friends/family and appreciating those people in your life, not what you (or they) look like .

Agree Ragwort. However, finding something to wear to special occasions is genuinely stressful for many women. Can't just get out the old quality suit like a man.
It's a pity how it can overshadow the event itself. I've been there.

Ok I see what you mean but some people like that element of weddings - an excuse to dress up and look good.
I agree that it shouldn't be this stressful though.
I never remember or care what other people look like. Just have a secret laugh at awful hairdos

I agree with Ragwort too.
If the OP had come on and said "I have no money, do you think it will be OK to wear the same outfit to 2 weddings" the responses would be different, but she has asked opinions, after stating she's paid out £250 !!!! I've NEVER spent anywhere near that on an outfit, so know you can dress well for a lot less, therefore, my opinion (which she can choose to ignore, but opinions were asked for) is the best thing to do with that budget is to buy 2 far more sensibly priced outfits and then she won't be at all self concious about wearing the same outfit to the 2 weddings - which would bother some people and not others, but is clearly on the OP's mind.

Personally I would book a personal shopper appointment at debenhams, explain the dilemma and see what they come up with. For £250 I would guess that you could get a couple of dresses, or maybe one dress and a couple of different shrugs/wraps/jewellery options so that you don't feel as if you are wearing the same thing twice.

I did this for a wedding and came out with two great dresses, neither of which I would have looked twice at on the rail. I am also very conscious of my size and there was absolutely no pressure to buy. The return for the hour that I spent there was worth all of the time that I usually spend trawling round the shops (if that makes sense)

Thanks for your replies and opinions.

Yes, Panda, that's the dress I have bought - well spotted (and linked to!)

Regarding the budget - I am surprised so many of you have concentrated on this. I am sure many of you would not spend £250 on an outfit but at the same time there are many who would spend much more. I did not buy shoes and a bag for that price - and as you can see, the dress was £139 to begin with. I think the price is irrelevant and FWIW I will wear it to a 60th birthday and another wedding in March.

I think my problem with shopping is that I'm different sizes - a 14 top and 16 bottom. Usually the top of the dress is slightly ill-fitting in order to accommodate my size 16 bottom half - I really would like a nice dress but many shapes make me look ridiculous and the dress I bought was quite flattering. How I wish the dress had been £60 or that the £60 dresses I tried on were flattering or available in my size, but they were not (not even online).

I did rather sigh at the price ticket!

I think I will probably wear the same dress to both weddings, though I have a little fur stole that I wore to a wedding a few years ago and that would match the dress for the October wedding. Friend has a pin-on flower I can add as well.

I hate shopping!

Im glad someone linked it. its a lovely dress and much different to what i had pictured when you said it was black. it has so much colour on, you could easily wear it a bunch of times with different colour accessories each time. a pink flower one time, a purple cardi another, a blue silk scarf etc.
like i said, its fine to wear twice but does that bother you. for eg, if you got complimented on it on the first wedding, so people actually paid attention and may remember what you wore, would you mind them seeing you wear it for the other wedding, or would you feel more comfortable doing that if it was a more discreet outfit?

It's a lovely dress! Maybe try a belt with it too?

Kate Middy regularly recycles her clothes but always changes her accessories. If royalty does it, why can't you?

Enjoy the weddings and the party
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