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Original poster

Is it okay to wear black to a wedding

26 replies

gscrym · 13/03/2006 15:31

I'm going to a wedding soon and have a really nice, long black dress. Is it okay or is it not the done thing to wear black to a wedding.

OP posts:

suzywong · 13/03/2006 15:33

I don't think so

since you ask

MrsBadger · 13/03/2006 15:34

So long as they're not sticklers for old-school etiquette it sounds fine.
I'd go for non-black accessories though - cream can look v stylish with black - or plum, pink etc or whatever suits you.

Radley · 13/03/2006 15:35

I would with a bright shrug and matching shoes and handbag, its the accessories that make an outfit after all.

Original poster

gscrym · 13/03/2006 15:35

I didn't think it was, my mum had thought not. I wasn't sure if it was different now. Oh well, shopping trip ahead.
Someone wore a mainly black dress to my wedding but it had beige swirls on it.

OP posts:

MrsBadger · 13/03/2006 15:41

oh, come on.
The whole point of a wedding is no-one cares what you're wearing because they're all looking the the BRIDE.

Unless it's such a formal wedding that all the male guests will actually be wearing tailcoats and all the women will be wearing hats and gloves, I think you'll be fine.

But then I didn't care what people wore to my wedding, it was just nice to see them and to know they'd made an effort.

(This has made me unreasonably cross for some reason - sorry about that)

suzywong · 13/03/2006 15:42

come on MrsB, dont' sit on the fence, tell us how you really feel

iota · 13/03/2006 15:43

I know someone who wore black to her OWN wedding

Original poster

gscrym · 13/03/2006 15:44

I wasn't trying to offend or sound self-centred (sorry MrsBadger). I just would hate to offend someone at their wedding. I don't know the bride and have known the groom for years. I'm dead chuffed to be asked to go as it's quite a small one. All the blokes will be in kilts.

OP posts:

edodgy · 13/03/2006 15:44

I do too Iota it was a black dress with white flowers stuck on it, nobosy was expecting it so was quite a suprise!

edodgy · 13/03/2006 15:44

*nobody

prettybird · 13/03/2006 15:46

I wouldn't have relasied it was "wrong" tbh - like mrsBadger, I'd just have been pleased to see them.

It depends on how you accessorise it I suppose, so that it doesn't look too sombre. If, as you say, it's a really nice dress and also, you feel good wearing it, then you should go ahead and wear it.

OTO, if you are looking for an excsue for a shopping trip.......

iota · 13/03/2006 15:48

I wore black to the evening do of a wedding once, didn't even cross my mind that it might not be the done thing - anyway it was so dark I doubt anyone notices - or are we talking about the daytime ceremony in a church - pastels and big hats de rigeur?

puff · 13/03/2006 15:51

I've worn a black dress, with a pink and black hat and pink and black coat

Original poster

gscrym · 13/03/2006 15:55

It's an afternoon ceremony in a castle then night-time do. I think I'll just go buy some shoes then buy a dress to suit them.

OP posts:

Mazzystar · 13/03/2006 15:55

I think it can look very elegant. especially if a city type wedding. i wouldn't wear it to a high summer wedding in a country church though.

lilibet · 13/03/2006 15:58

I'm with Radley, I wore a black dress to a wedding a few years back, teamed it with a cream and black spotted stole type thingy, I thought I looked pretty good

Better that than white which i thought was a real no no for guests at a wedding

bubblez · 13/03/2006 16:04

if it helps greeks nearly always wear dark colours or black to weddings, so that the bride stands out even more...!! it sounds a lot better when you look at it like that..

if you know the bride to be really well just ask her if she minds....

i had four weddings to go to after having dd and i was too big to wear anything bright and cheery to any of them, and it was fine.. i just accessorised a black dress with a different colours for each wedding...

so imo (not that i matters) yes it is fine to wear black esp if you bring colour into your accessories

Original poster

gscrym · 13/03/2006 16:09

Thanks everyone. You've all been dead helpful. I like the idea of a bright coat with a black dress.

OP posts:

meggmoo · 13/03/2006 16:11

Yes I have done so several times and it was always commented on (in a nice way)

MrsBadger · 13/03/2006 16:15

Just got back from a nice cup of tea and am sorry I got so wound up gscrym - I wasn't cross at you, but at the social conventions that wouldn't let you wear your nice black dress, but didn't express myself very well.

I've wheeled out my Best Black Dress for so many weddings with such success I think everyone should be able to do the same!

meggmoo · 13/03/2006 17:18

The arguement about so called wedding "etiquette" makes me laugh - especially as most brides go down the ailse wearing a colour pretty close to virginal white/cream, how accurate is that?

Same as black being associated with funerals - I don't think it is anymore TBH.

Just wear what you want, I think you'd stand more of a chance of upsetting people if you wore jeans and trainers and didn't make an effort, a smart black dress would look fine

Original poster

gscrym · 13/03/2006 17:20

I did tell the groom I was going to wear my PJ's and slippers so that I could spend the day in comfort.

OP posts:

slug · 14/03/2006 10:21

iota, do I know you? I got married in black.

shimmy21 · 14/03/2006 10:28

definitely depends on the wedding and the type of people (traditional mc or more relaxed).

castles and afternoon reception sounds a bit trad - hats and morning suits etc. in which case black would be 'non-conformist'. Dress it up with something colourful or wear it for the evening do but not for the reception.

iota · 14/03/2006 10:33

slug - I don't think so, my 'lady in black' doesn't post on MN

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