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Original poster

feeling a mess...........help me

12 replies

tazzy65 · 14/08/2012 08:30

i am 41 and feel /look fat and frumpy, i buy loads of clothes which remain in my wardrobe....saving them for best !, but the best never comes.

i don't know what suits me.

i love clothes and love looking what other people wear, but i am always afraid to try something new.

i have recently worn, cropped linen trousers in 3 colour ways and a vest top, god its so boring but do not have the courage to wear a different outfit. my ideal outfit would be jersey dress with leggings etc but cant even pluck up the courage to wear these....what the heck is wrong with me ??

i am overweight,part of me thinks who cares wear what you want but cant seem to apply this.

sorry for ramberling on and on....need help.

OP posts:
Eliza22 · 14/08/2012 08:59

Stop being so hard on yourself Smile

I would buy stuff and save for a special occasion and find that nice things never got worn. Now, I'm not saying I'm glammed up ever day to trip round Sainsburys but, generally, I wear what I want (regardless of my top end of a size 14 frame) when I want. I was told recently "you always look nice" and I think that's because I wear what suits me. I rarely wear trousers (cut off but fitted capri style chinos only) and never wear jeans cause I look shite in 'em and they rant comfy, to me. I like slightly above knee skirts, T shirts, a crisp white shirt, scarves, a nice neckless or two. I like to wear belts cause I have a neat waist. I paint my toe nails cause I have shockingly deformed feet after years of point shoes (ballet- in my youth), I get my hair well cut and highlighted because I'm mousy brown and it makes me feel drab.

My point is, go with what you like and what makes you feel good. If you feel boring....it could be more about you attitude to life/self. I don't mean that as a criticism but I think your self esteem is key, here.

Good luck!

Original poster
tazzy65 · 14/08/2012 09:27

i think you have hit the nail on the head ! its more about attitude and a huge lack of self esteem, in my mind i know i should not care what anyone else thinks but i cant seem to put it into practise, stuck in a rut i think.

Doesn't help that i have always felt like this and always been criticized about my weight what i look like from my dear mummy.

OP posts:
Gillybobs · 14/08/2012 10:11

If you have a bit of money to throw at this I can wholeheartedly suggest going to House of colour for their Colours day then their Style day. Colours day involves them figuring out your absolute best colours and explaining how to wear them. It's life changing and fascinating and if you start buying things in the right colours before you know it everything you own will coordinate and make dressing so much easier. The style day analyses body proportions and personality and explains your style type and gives you extensive guidelines on how to put together outfits that fit and flatter. Couple that with the knowledge you will have on your colours and I think you'd find it revelatory.

It's not at all Bridget Jones Mother, I understand why people think that and I dithered for years before getting my colours done but I know girls of all ages, from early twenties upwards, who can't recommend it highly enough

It is a huge boost to confidence and might just give you the lift you need. Think the colours day is 100 quid and the style day similar

PutIcecubesDownTheVestOfFear · 14/08/2012 16:31

Ooh Gilly I had my colours done with House of Colour recently - went with a friend for her birthday. Am only 30 and did think it was a bit of a Bridget Jones's mum thing to do, but you're right, it was a revelation! I feel loads more confident in the clothes I've got that are the right colour for me, and have chucked out/sold the ones that made me feel crap because they weren't my colour and were doing nothing for me. Wearing your right colours makes you look slimmer and brings out your features - the wrong colours make you look fatter, spottier, even ill. I sound like a House of Colour advert now...

Also you could go and have a session with a personal shopper (it's free, no obligation to buy) - most shops do it now so just go to your favourite, or to a department store. I went to Topshop and the girl got me into all kinds of things (dresses, shirts, colour) that I never wore before and I haven't looked back :) I was totally lazy and only ever wore jeans before that.

Hopefully · 14/08/2012 16:39

When I completely lost my way with style after 2 DCs (literally wore jeans and plain tshirt every day) the colour and style days with House of colour really helped me get back on track, and gave me the confidence particularly to try out some styles that I thought were too young/old/cool for me.

Disclaimer: am such a convert that I am now associated with HoC, so you may wish to ignore me Grin

Naysa · 14/08/2012 17:36

I'm only 19 but if I buy something that is a bit more risky than what I normally buy, or a bit different that my normal style then I wear it round the house, just do my make up nicely, put my hair up and just watch tv or something like that. Just until you're comfortable in it.

Also the leggings thing, if you're not comfortable wearing them ASDA do 300 dernier tights. They don't make you too hot and they aren't wooly. They suck in any bad bits and give you the coverage of trousers with the look of leggings. I started wearing them as I'm a serial tight ripper and don't like how most leggings are see through. Hope this helps xx

Naysa · 14/08/2012 17:36

I'm only 19 but if I buy something that is a bit more risky than what I normally buy, or a bit different that my normal style then I wear it round the house, just do my make up nicely, put my hair up and just watch tv or something like that. Just until you're comfortable in it.

Also the leggings thing, if you're not comfortable wearing them ASDA do 300 dernier tights. They don't make you too hot and they aren't wooly. They suck in any bad bits and give you the coverage of trousers with the look of leggings. I started wearing them as I'm a serial tight ripper and don't like how most leggings are see through. Hope this helps xx

AmberNectarine · 14/08/2012 19:10

Another one jumping on the HoC bandwagon. I got into a real rut of beige after DC1, and wondered why I always looked shit. Turns out I am a winter and absolutely should not wear it. Wearing my colours has made a huge difference, and also makes shopping masses easier!

PutIcecubesDownTheVestOfFear · 14/08/2012 19:30

Amber I'm a winter too and have had to get rid of loads of cream/beige coloured stuff! I always thought I'd look better in cream than white because it's softer and I'm so pale, but nope!

AmberNectarine · 14/08/2012 20:29

Oh yeah, my consultant out the White drape round my neck and then laid the navy over my shoulder to imitate a jacket. Then she did the same with cream and brown. The difference was astonishing, and not in a good way. OP, you would be surprised that even subtle differences in colour make...

Eliza22 · 14/08/2012 21:14

Mothers!! Why do they do it? Mine told me, years ago, that my knees have had it and I should wear long skirts. She'd have me in permanent Per Una, I think. There's absolutely NOTHING WRONG WITH MY KNEES.

Some people have no legs. That's all I have to say.

AmberNectarine · 14/08/2012 21:35

Oh, and my mother has commented on how much bigger I am than her all my life. I am a size 8-10. Sometimes I think mothers can be a bit bitchy as their beautiful daughters remind them of their lost youth at least that is what I tell myself

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