approaching 40 - style crisis, please help!

[tasmaniandevilchaser]

I always used to shop in places like Top Shop or H&M, I could generally go down a high street and find something to buy. Now I'm nearly 40 and I just need some new shops/brands to browse. Something that isn't like a fancy dress costume or frumpy or really smart.

If I go in TopShop, everything looks like it's for "young people". I definitely don't feel young anymore. I tried something on in Zara a couple of years ago and it was so depressing I can't go in there anymore.

I like dresses but need something that goes in at the waist and in under the bust. I also can't wear dresses /skirts above the knee anymore

If you're around the same age, where do you shop without buying frumpy stuff?

Amazingly, I recently bought 2 things from Topshop (I am 46). A pair of leggings while I was in with my daughters - I wanted some decent thick leggings and found a good pair. Plus, on a different day, a pair of straight jeans. This was after trying every other shop on the high street and trying on about 30 pairs, I had bypassed Topshop as being for teenagers but after running out of shops that's where I finally found something that fitted and flattered .

Does anyone else feel odd wearing leggings? I'd love to wear them but last attempt was black leggings with one of those scarf design dresses and I felt so uncomfortable. Is it because I've always lived in jeans. Any suggestions on how to get over it as it seems to be v fashionable at the mo.

Can anyone tell me where to find slouchy t-shirts? I'm a curvy 16, reasonably well proportioned. I've been trying to find long slouchy tees without success. I pick things up that I think fit the bill but when I put them on they are snug or fitted. And I still wander through top shop but Zara has never been good for my figure. I like Phase 8, occasionally Next, and Gap. Wallis trousers fit me well. Although I think I'm still burying my head in the sand about hitting 40. I'm still 23 in my head

H&M do some great slouchy tees, as do Warehouse.

I bought the leggings to wear under a long tunic with boots. I'd feel odd wearing them with say a t-shirt and ballet flats as if I were 16 .

I've never shopped much in H and M before, they seem to have passed me by, but their new catalouge looks great and v reasonable prices. I think I will be an H and M convert!

39, wear Zara, Malene Birger, DAY Birger Mikkelsen, DvF, Marc by Marc Jacobs, Marant, Maxmara - but also own a Topshop leather pleated skirt. Wanted just to add that don't overlook the Outnet. By shopping wisely there you can score designer denim, D&G, Marni and many other great things! I go for fairly classic pieces, don't mind buying last season.

Hi tasmanian
I was/am in a similar situation to you. Fast approaching 40 and lost my style after two pregnancies, health problems, putting on 3 stone and suffering PND.
I have lost alltheweight and recently went shopping to update my wardrobe. I had my 'colours' done and a body shape assessment through Groupon and spent a lot of time researching styles and capsule wardrobe tips from blogs, magazines etc. I put together a 'look book' of things that inspire me and sold lots of my old clothes on eBay and boot sales. I then went shopping armed with a list of essentials to update my wardrobe and complement my lifestyle as a working mum with babies and toddlers!

I found Debenhams, TKMaxx and Zara pretty good and Gap sale for basics like jeans. I got cheap tops in h&m and a couple of blazers for work then treated myself to a leather jacket in the Reiss sale. Next is good for cheap coloured skinnies and All Saints Stam range is fab for layering if you have cash to splash.

I'm sure you will find your style and have fun doing it just don't panic buy.
I lost the weight through exercise once I was well enough to move around and followed the glycemic load (GL) diet . More forgiving than the glycemic index (GI) diet. You can find books on amazon the best are by Patrick Holford. I saw results really fast and have lost all my extra weight plus another 7lbs on too which was beyond my wildest (weight related!) dreams. It's been nearly a year since I lost the weight and am still loosely following the plan with treats regularly included and reasonble amount if exercise. Now I just have to tone up the mummytummy.

Meant to say another 7lbs off!!!

Just out of interest, what sort of things do you all wear when it's too hot for jeans/leggings? I can't bear anyything on my legs when its warm.

My dear old Ma is 65 and bought shoes and trousers in Topshop this week. I haven't seen them yet, but am assuming she's managed to avoid wet look leggings and stripper shoes. Buy which I mean, if you are selective, most shops probably have things that will work for you.

I'm mid 30s, and shop mainly in Zara, Topshop, H&M, Whistles and bits of Gap/Uniqlo for basics.

In response to dancergirl, in hot weather I wear denim shorts or crop pants in lightweight fabrics. Linen for the respectable look / combat style for days out with kids etc.
Nobody's too old for shorts yano

disparatefishwife, I did the GL diet as well last year, I loved it! I still use some of the principles, but I need to be a bit stricter.

Thanks for all the tips, though I'm not avoiding shorts/short skirts because of any preconceived notions of what I should be wearing "at my age", it's because my legs are now fat and I look bloody awful!!

Great thread with lovely helpful posters, thank you. I was talking with my friends yesterday about turning 40 and couldn't believe how negative they all were - they were dreading their 40s. I cannot bloody wait for mine. I firmly believe it's a very sexy decade for a woman.

Hey tas, if ur not keen on your legs this is a great time of year to treat yourself to some nice jeans, maybe a coloured pair, next do nice thick stretchy denim, you can still wear them with flip flops, converse or loafer type shoes then invest in some cool boots for autumn/ enter.
Thick tights hide a multitude of sins with tunic type tops/ dresses and knee high/biker boots and when you get back on the gl plan the weight will drop off anyway and you'll be all ready to show your legs off in Christmas party dresses then ready for spring wth a new lease of life :@)))

*winter not enter. Up with teething child & dodgy keypad.