How do I explain to my hairdresser exactly what I want in terms of colour?

[Tisgrand]

Ok this makes me sound so passive and unassertive. Whenever I ask my hairdresser to put in blonde hilights she talks me out of it. I'm quite grey and have been dying my hair for many years. I think if i wasn't grey that I'd be light mousey brown. The colour she does is lovely, its light brown with some subtle hilights. Thing is I always used to get 2 or 3 shades of blond in and I quite like being blond.
However the hairdresser I've been going to for past couple of years says this won't suit my skin tone. Now maybe my skin tone has changed as I've aged. I still can't wear black near my face without a pile of slap - unless I want people to ask if I'm ok - but where before I wore a lot of cream or beige, now I find that jewel tones are good.
My hairdresser is lovely, and cheap, so I don't want to change. But how can I persuade her to make me blond, dammit? Is there a shade I should ask for? When I mentioned ash blond last time she nearly had a conniption as she said it would look too grey.
Tia, and hope this post isn't too long but I am an insomniac so posting this on the Samsung from bed while dp snores beside me.

Could you take in some pictures? Just say you want to try it and won't hold her responsible if it doesn't suit you!

I agree with her re the ash blonde! Sounds like you might need a warmer tone than that. Why don't you go down the hair dye section at boots or something, and look at the names of the blonde dyes there (they usually have hair loops of the colours so you can see them) - pick a warmer shade than ash, for sure, and then ask your hairdresser for that.

If you're seeing her at a salon, she may have a dye-board anyway - ask to see it. If she sees you at home this is less likely. :)

I had a similar problem in that all hairdressers wanted to keep putting in two darker shades with my highlights and I wanted full on blonde, in the end when I went to a new salon I said really bluntly I want it to look really beach blonde, even like it looks like I am having it highlighted, I wasn't interested in natural at all and subscribed to the dolly Parton school of beauty rather than wanting to look natural!! It does seemed to have worked, if she doesn't like ash blonde then you could start talking about honey blondes and how with summer coming you don't want any darker colours running through it.

I have just had the same experience with my regular hairdresser. Sounds like we have very similar colouring OP. I am very white through the top section of my hair and have been having blonde highlights to blend with it. Despite my saying I wanted ash tones, he insisted that golden tones were the way to go. Last week I left the salon really p&ssed off that my hair looked way too yellow and gold for my liking. 3 days later I summoned up the courage to complain (politely and nicely) that it really wasn't what I wanted. They applied toner and my hair is now finally the blend of ash, platinum and light brown that I have been asking for. Hairdresser was "surprised" at how much it suited my skin tone and said he had been worried I would look too grey. The thing is, I want my white regrowth to blend with the highlights to cut back on the amount of maintenance!