Having a frump crisis

[LesleyPumpshaft]

Can I please get advice from you lovely MN people?

Unfortunately, I have to confess that I am not a new mother, DS is 13. No excuses there really! The issue is that I relocated and work from home, so I could happily spend days on end working in my PJ's these days.

I am on a budget, but I do actually buy nice clothes, but then I think what's the point in wearing them? I live in a rural area and don't have to leave the house very much because of work. Also, since my folks moved abroad me and my DP hardly ever get to go out. DS father is on the other side of the country and is a complete waste of space. My son doesn't want anything to do with that side of his family, so he doesn't go to stay there. Basically, I rarely have an excuse to get dolled up - I don't exactly have a great social life tbh. Getting made up and wearing nice clothes just to kick about in seems silly to me these days.

I'm 35 and I don't consider myself to be that old! Is it a confidence thing? Idk, I always used to make an effort no matter what. I want to get back to being the well turned out, confident woman that I once was.

Any advice?

I think you've answered it yourself there! It may seem silly to get dressed up and put on makeup to just stay at home, but if you want to be well turned out and wear nice clothes then thats what you'll have to do! I don't go out all that much either, but I find the (rare) days that I put on makeup and a nice outfit at home I feel really good and get more done.

If Im staying at home and dont bother with my makeup I feel blurgh, I think I'm ill if I dont . I dont dress up at home, I like to change into comfy clothes , but I do have decent tracksuit type bottoms from Next so I can nip out to the school or corner shop without scaring children and animals.

IHaveAFeatureWallAndILikeIt - you are righ of course and I feel somewhat foolish for posting this

Btw, do you have a feature wall and if so what is it like?

What about buying some nice 'loungewear' (knobby term, but you know what I mean). Hush is always good, or that Love Stretch place that advertises on MN looks good. Then you won't feel over dressed while you sit at home, but you can pop on a bit of make up and wear nice clothes.

i must admit i have turned into a frump as i am off in the holiday. yesterday i did my hair and went out for a bit. it is hard to be bothered when you are at home.

if i am popping out I will change.

maybe once a week do your nails or make more of an effort and see how you get on.

I have the mentality that if i am home i shouldn't mess up my 'nice' clothes as i am usely hoovering, doing washing, cleaning etc

I think you do feel better if you make an effort.

I'm a SAHM but pretty much always dress up even if only activity will be a school run and trip to the park. I do it because I feel better in myself if I'm dressed with hair done and make up on and its fun.

Agree with hopefully about perhaps starting with upgrading pj's too 'loungewear' - hush good also companies like me and em and also places like the white company and gap.

Also - why don't you book a babysitter and go out? Or go out with your son as well for early suppers and dress up a bit.

I have only left the house today to walk the dog but am wearing a maxi dress! I have no make up on though as it is too hot.

OP - why not get your DP and DS to dress quite smartly and the three of you go out to a naice restaurant or gastro-pub and that'll give you an excuse to dress up?

BTW I have no idea what a gastro-pub is but I assume people make more of an effort fashionwise in those places that they do at the Feather & Duck

I'm with MrsCampbell Black - Try and make an effort, even if it is just for you to see and enjoy. You'll naturally feel better about yourself.

Do wear makeup - light foundation and mascara (at least)
Do wear nice casual clothes that make you feel good - try different labels. Mint Velvet is a great option.

Do it for yourself and see the change!

Thanks for all the replies
cocolepew - I am going to try forcing myself to wear a little bit of makeup everyday.
Hopefully - Some nice loungewear is a good idea or I could even get off my lazy backside and put on some jeans and a nice top!
alemci Nails, yup, I'm with you on that.
MrsCampbellBlack - Haha, I have started dragging us out for meals so I can have an excuse to wear something nice! I'm in total agreement about making an effort.
dexter73 - I don't own any maxi dresses, do you think they would suit someone of a short stature?
rollingfog143 - I have recently started doing this Idk about gastro pubs, but there are a few nice places to eat round here.
Whizkidwithacrazystreak - Thanks, although Mint Velvet is a tad pricey for me at the moment, having recently bought a money pit that we're trying to rennovate. The clothes are lovely though.

Thanks once again. You have all inspired me to stop being such an old halibut!

Maxi dress fine if you are short providing you keep it fairly sleek fitting and avoid large patterns and clashing colours imho. The White Company usually have a couple of nice ones, or if you are v slim just the ones from Topshop which are like a long vest should be fine. Even a plain black maxi with a little denim jacket and pretty sandals can feel 'special' if you're used to just slob clothes.

Oh and I always think that painting my toe nails makes me feel/look a bit more dressed up!

Thanks for the tip RemusLupinsBiggestGroupie.

I'm a size 8-10, but a funny shape. Massive boobs and no hips. I'm not sure that a vest style maxi from Topshop would look very flattering. Besides, the last couple of things I bought from there were very poor quality imo.

A trip into town is in order. I like the idea of maxi dresses, but I would have to try one on. If you have big boobs there is a tendency to look either quite tarty, or matronly in a lot of clothes. You can't tell until you try them on.

So, I'veactually worn a nice Warehouse day dress today and done my makeup. I'm feeling much better!

You could try a maxi skirt, just with a fitted t-shirt or cami - less matronly!

I saw a couple of 'youngsters' wearing black maxi dresses with little sleeveless denim jackets today - looked nice imho.