Help!! I live and die in jeans and boring tops. Lost all confidence.......

[causeforanamechange]

Morning

Well i've been feeling like i'm stuck in a NO style rut for a long time, but this morning (school run) when I went to pick my jeans up off the floor and put on a boring black top I got quite sad. I've been doing the same for years now, but I just kind of accepted it because I don't really spend money on myself since having DD and i'm not working right now so therefore I don't have to get dressed up.

I am actually a girly girl and I wear make up everyday. I love getting dressed up if we're going out for the evening, but again it's jeans and a slightly less boring top and the same old nude shoes. I get to the point where I really don't have anything atall to wear and so therefore have to splash out a little on myself(which feels wrong) but everything I try on looks rubbish. I don't even think I look that good in jeans so i'm screwed really

My main problem(apart from money) is my shape. It's impossible to dress. I'm only a size 10, but I have an out of proportion figure. Broad shoulders, high waist(long legs) curvvy hips(no thighs) and a tiny bum which is more like a size 6.

Please help. I'm only 28 but I haven't got a clue. I've got no idea of whats fashionable and I genuinely think I look terrible in everything.

Has anyone got any ideas on how to dress my figure, but also doesn't cost a fortune?

TIA

I'll be watching this thread with interest as I could have written your post. I'm not quite the same shape as you (size 10 too but definitely don't have a tiny bum!) and I'm a couple of years older but I completely share the feeling of being stuck in a rut of jeans and a black top. Like you I've tried to buy some new clothes but don't even know what to try on as I have no idea what might look nice. I always give up and end up buying nothing or just another long sleeved T shirt. Sorry I can't help, but hopefully someone more stylish will be along soon!

HOW boring?

How would you like to look? Is there a certain style that you always admire in magazines/shops/ when you see people in the street dressed a certain way? There's lots of different versions of 'fashionable' so I think you need to work out what your fantasy image is and work down from that.

I'm a big fan of dresses, for smart and casual. It takes a lot of hassle out of coordinating tops and bottoms, looks 'pulled together' easily. Depending on the shape there's dresses to flatter everyone, and solves awkward hips/bottom shape problems.

you see i HASTE dresses unless fitted jersey types.
those tea dresses make me look like im dressing up and tunics are frumps ville

You sound quite down on yourself if you feel you look terrible in everything. I'm sure you don't but it's not easy to believe that if you have no confidence. As relucatanttownie said, you need to think about how you aspire to look. If you want an idea of what's in fashion either look at magazines or look at some websites of high street stores and see what sort of things take your fancy. Blogs such as school gate style, style guile, surburban mum etc may also give you some inpiration.

If jeans are your thing you need to get a good fit. No easy solution to this, it just means trying loads on. I always get mine from gap as fir really well but others seem to swear by topshop/primark/Dorothy Perkins or anywhere really. Apart from that how about buying yourself a coloured top to ease yourself out of black gradually. Again try some on to get an idea of what colours suit. Anything that suits should make you look glowing. Also some accessories, bracelets etc to brighten up black and jeans. Once you have found some confidence just go to the shops and make yourself try on anything that catches you eye and you'll soon get an idea of what styles suit you and you like. Good luck.

hello - i am the shape as you. thin but hippy and great big shoulders and very high waist. post dc i was in serious danger of turning into a super frump. i've had a real turnaround in the last 6 months though. the main thing i have done is just buy more clothes. it sounds silly, but that's it. i've returned stuff and got stuff wrong, and nowadays an afternoon in the shops is not my idea of the best way to spend child-free time, but it's had huge rewards.

Go on Dressipi.com
It will ask for all your measurements and tell you what suits your figure and what does not. (it's free)
I have broad shoulders too and really have to pay attention to that.

Thanks everyone!

Some really good tips here.

Queen, yeah I suppose I do have a bit of a down on myself. People tell me that i've got a good figure etc, but I genuinely don't believe it, hence LOATHING clothes shopping. I love clothes, just not on me.

reluctant, I don't really know who/what I want to look like. I'd quite like to achieve effortless elegance, but i'm not sure i've the right shape to carry that off, regardless of where I shopped! Whenever I try to do the flowey, no effort, layered look, It just looks like the no effort look full stop. I can't pull off shapeless clothes atall. I just look androgenous.

msO, thanks for the Dressipi suggestion. Will definitely be giving that a look.

I suppose realistically i'd just like to be more versatile. I love coral and emerald colours. Especially in skinny jeans, but because of my shoulders, I can't really pull skinnies off Wouldn't look right in bootcut, which at the minute are the only fit of jeans I can get away with(ish)

My DD said to me the other day "mummy, why do you always wear the same clothes?" That kind of sums it up really. If a 5 year old is wondering why i'm not more adventurous in the clothes department(literally) then it's time to do something about it!

I'm open to ANY further suggestions

You can always rely on a 5yo to be honest-I have one of those too!!

I agree skinny jeans don't suit everyone but have you tried some on and rolled them up? Sometimes they seem to suit better if they're cropped? Otherwise have you tried straight cut? I get mine from gap and they look better on me than skinnies.

You can still get effortless elegance with fitted/tailored clothes rather than flowey and shapeless. Can you spare any cash? If so it might be worth going to a personal shopper in Debenhams/John Lewis. Even if you don't buy from them it'll give you an idea of what suits and then try and find similiar things at cheaper prices?

You're a size 10 so you probably have got a good figure. I'm a size 10 and loath my mummy tummy but over the years I've learnt how to best dress to disguise it. Think about what bits of your body you do like and then try and show that bit off!

Thanks Queen

I don't really have any spare cash, no. Obviously it depends on how much a personal shopper is. I actually have no idea, but i'm really stretching things by just buying myself the odd pair of trousers or dress so i'd feel massively guilty if I spent it on a personal shopper. Who knows though. This time next year, we could be millionaires!! Or at least be more comfortable

I like my legs because they're slim and non celulitey(yet). However, i've got really pale skin and really dark, course hair, so I have to shave my legs often if i'm showing them off. The more I shave, the more shaving rash/bumps I get-not to mention the leg make up which I have to use, otherwise my legs would look like milkbottles! I love the winter cos I can just wear tights and not worry about it.

I love tea dresses. I love most of what Holly from This Morning wears actually. Told you I was a girly girl! But she has a very much in proportion figure

Oh and leggins aren't really my friend either, although I sometimes wear them regardless. Usually just because I CAN'T wear jeans EVERYDAY!! They make me really lumpy and bumpy, but tunics can really cover a multitude of sins can't they. They have to be fitted tunics though, not long and shapeless.

I had a couple of trousers made for me once and they were bloody awful!! I was furious cos I assumed that because she'd measured me, they'd actually fit me properly. Not atall. Camel toe alert!! I wont be passing on her details

I've just made an appointment with an 'image consultant' after talking to the ladies on the Avid & Wise thread. I'm 28 too and have always considered myself fairly fashionable, obsessed with Vogue but since having DD I feel like I'm in a rut of jeans and t-shirts. I'm worried about going back to work and looking smart and professional when I feel like I've forgotten who smart and professional me was! Part of me feels like getting colours done is a really old fashioned thing to do but I figure it can't hurt and hopefully will remind me what it's like to take care of my appearance...

Would you consider doing something like that?

I believe the personal shopper service is free with no obligation to buy although I guess if they found you something flattering you'd be seriously tempted so may be best to give it a miss. Holly does her own range at very.co.uk. Might be worth trying??

OP, I've done a turnaround you are planning to do over the past 1,5 years. Nowadays, I get complimented daily for my looks.

I'm size 10-12, 5ft8.

Where I started out:
Ill-fitting jeans worn with boring black tees.
Ugly practical shoes.

First step: I found a pair of jeans that really fits. i went through my old jeans, found a pair that I really liked, bought a new and updated version of it.

2nd step: I bought some bright tops to get rid of the black. Red looked best.

3rd step: bought some dresses and opaque tights

4th step: I thought skinnies don't suit me but finally found a pair that did (I have to wear either ultra tight superskinnies or cigarrette pants. The inbetween style does not look good on me.)

5th step: I figured out that the placement of waistline makes a real difference for my looks. Too low, muffin top and jeans fall down. Too high, proportions don't look right. Midrise was a good compromise but because I have very long legs I look best in dropped-waist outfits. Bought a few, they made a massive difference.

6th step:got hair sorted out. A sharp haircut and highlights made a huge difference.

7th step: had my colors done. A crucial step, gave me the confidence to try bold bright colors. Love red, coral, emerald green. Denim blues and blue gray and navy are my best neutrals.

8th step: spent a lot of time on Makeupalley and gradually revised my makeup - brighter colors, better products. A good lipstick is the cornerstone of my style.

9th step: lots of shopping, trying on, returns, trying on. Sorted out shoes (wedges and ballerinas suit my everyday lifestyle), found my most flattering shapes and styles.

So as you see it has been a long and gradual process. If you can arrange some child-free time to go browsing, that might help - I found shopping with DC impossible. Maybe you have a friend or relative whose style you admire? Take her along? Don't forget charity shops and jumble sales. Swap clothes with friends. I found a very stylish jean jacket last night for 3 euros. If you look at style blogs, you can also see a lot of good looks built with Primark pieces. If you have a birthday coming up, you could ask for a color or style analysis or personal shopping appointment as a present (it will be an investment that will yield long-term results).

Finally, watch the video recommended on the "frumpy" thread. I'm sure you'll get lots of ideas from it!

Gap curvy jeans. They are the miracle worker of jeans, are fab, def recommend. iF you're comfy in jeans but want to look a bit 'fresher', try them

What was the video that was linked to on the frumpy thread, donaAna? The post was deleted before i could look at it.

dona I think that's a great approach. The only thing I would add is that a sense of style doesn't appear from no where but you can pick it up by spending some time on S&B, reading a few blogs helps too, magazines always seem too much. I now have shopping lists of things I want to buy this season, I know where I'm likely to find jeans that fit, I know where to go for bargains and shopping doesn't seem as bewildering as it once did. You can copy what other people who love to shop wear.

Thanks for all the advice! I actually knew that Holly had her own range............but didn't think to check it out It's at very isn't it. I suppose I was actually starting to think that i'm too old for those kind of clothes! I know i'm only 28, but i'm really scared of looking like i'm trying to hold on to my teenage years. I threw out my denim mini last winter. I used to wear it with leggins, but the last time I saw myself in it, I thought I looked ridiculous. I've got the legs for them, but over the last year or so I think my face has aged quite a bit. Another charming comment my DD said this morning actually "mummy, you're getting older aren't you. One day you'll be really old and i'll be a waitress!" I didn't know whether to laugh or cry!! So anyway, I think i'm just worried I don't know what's age appropriate cos i've been out of the loop for a long while.

Dona, Wow!! That's a hell of a list! I think I could do with doing most of that. Again, it comes down to money, but I like the idea of updating my make up too. I'd love to get away with red lipstick for example, but cos i've been wearing pinky browny nudey colours for so long, I look like I different woman when I wear a colour so bold as red. However, clothes wise, red definitely suits me because i've got very dark brown/black hair and fair skin.

Will have a look at Gap jeans too

Hopefully i'm not a lost cause yet..........