Arrrrghhh why do I always look frumpy?

[DustYourSkirtingsDeirdre]

I have 2 dsis and a glam friend, I feel like a total frump next to them. My sisters grew up in the same house as I did yet they seem to automatically know how to do their hair, paint their nails without smudging and find the nicest clothes.
I on the other hand struggle to even straighten my hair, chip or bite off nail polish and feel silly if I get dressed up.
I just can't do it I try, if I dye my hair I end up with a red scalp or dyed ears, I can't walk in heels and my hair is crazy frizzy and thick. ( I sound a charmer don't I ?)
What makes it worse is when I do manage to look nice for a day or a night out everyone makes a big deal of telling me how different I look and how nice I could be if I always make the effort.
Grrrrr what am I doing wrong? I have roughly the same income as dsis and friend so it's not that they're buying products and clothing of better quality.
I know it sounds shallow but I just can't face another person being amazed that we are all sisters or seeing a picture of me looking mummy and frumpy next to them two looking all gorgeous.

Oh and once I managed to look really nice and DH's granddad drove past us, he then rang mil to tell her he had seen DH out with another woman!
Dear me :(.

Deirdre I think you need to work on this a bit at a time - there's a lot to work through: home hair dye, chipped nails, "frumpy" clothes, frizzy hair. Work on them one at a time - if your sisters have similar income levels to you, what shampoo, moisturiser etc do they use? Can you get some? Do they have different habits to you re: smoking, drinking water / alcohol etc. Maybe a bit more mirroring of them is in order if you already have examples of what you want to aim for!

Maybe start with your hair, as it's a defining feature for most women. Go to a decent saoln (not necessarily an expensive one) and have a consultation about a hair style that will work for you in terms of it being easy to manage and stylish. Ask them about dealing with frizzy hair, what products diffuser etc to use, and get them to dye your hair for you. Your're less likely to get hair dye in odd places.

Leave the clothes until your hair is sorted but in the meantime look at the clothes you've got - have any got child stains on which you could remove, do any of them need taking in to give you a better fit? Could you try some of your sisters' clothes on to see what they wear that suits you, even if you need to look for different colours. When your GF-i-L saw you and didn't recognise you, what were you wearing? Start with that outfit and work on other items to wear in a similar vein.

I think it's practice, none of us are born knowing how to blow dry and paint nails.

For your nails use seche vite top coat, it dries really quickly and makes them glossier and less likely to chip.

Could you go for a personal shopper session? I think debenhams do them. It would help you find what suits you and they might pick things you wouldnt have chosen but suit you. I think with clothes you have to shop for outfits and then buy pieces for specific events eg I have a funeral dress and shoes and a night out with DH dress.

Everything needs to be dry cleaned/washed and ironed so you can just pull it out of the wardrobe at short notice.

I go to an expensive hairdresser but as I dont have colours or blowdrys inbetween my 8 weekly trims it's not that much. I ask them how to style the cut so I know what to do when I get home. I am naturally crap at blowdrying but with a nicky clarke hot air brush (very underrated imho), some nicky clarke blow drying root boost stuff and ellnett I can look quite presentable.

Lot's of women have frizzy hair, what's your shampoo and conditioner? If I use cheaper products my hair gets very un-manageable but with the expensive products (bought online because it's cheaper) my hairs shiny and easier to style.

Do you get your eyebrows threaded? it makes a big difference. You look so much more groomed if you have neat brows and no moustache.

Small things like curling eyelashes can make a big difference.

I dont do half as much during the week as I do at the weekend, I work in healthcare so as long as I have clean hair tied back and subtle make up that's all I need, I do more with hair etc at the weekend when I have time to do it.

Perhaps you could go shopping with your sisters? Each separately.

I also have a sister who is far more put together than me and one reason is that I like a bargain while she is happy to pay full price. She also tries on many more clothes than I would. If she has a wedding to go to she will go to a mid scale department store not during the and try on 50 dresses until she find the perfect one. Sam with jeans I went jeans shopping with her once and she was like this is work get ready to try on 20 pairs to find one.

We went shopping around Easter and she purchased her summer wardrobe -- one nice suit or dress for work & maybe 3 summer dresses. She probably spent 300 pounds but she will look nice all summer as I go wasting my time trying to find bargains and not being put together.

Sorry this post is so long -- I'm berating myself for my bad habits (which you probably don't share).

Do you have a good relationship with your sisters? Could you ask them to help you on your project?
I know I've had similar conversations with my sister in the past and she's been delighted to help.
Go shopping with them and let them pick out what you try on. They might well pick things you would ignore. And we all tend to be very hard on ourselves - thinking we're bigger than we are and won't suit things. Other people tend to have a more objective view of what will suit.
Good luck!

If you are going to dye your own hair, then put vaseline all around your hairline and on your ears - it stops the dye from staining your skin. When you are done, clean any smears straight away.

Wrt nails, I think short, neat and with clear polish is the easiest way to look groomed, or perhaps a shellac polish, to reduce chipping.