Help someone clueless- wedding!

[GinevraMollyWeasley]

In two weeks I'll be attending my first ever wedding, well as an adult anyway! I need to know.... everything really. I don't know what to wear, how to do makeup, anything really. This is a Big Deal for me- very good friend, meeting all of her family for the first time, and his too!

So I know I want to wear a nice frock- I'm thinking Monsoon. I have to try on, I have a very odd shape so trying on very important so nothing online. Budget up to... I don't know, I don't know what people spend on dresses etc. £100? More if needed? This is a one-off thing and I want to look my best. What else do I need- I'm thinking a bag, shrug/cardi type thing, shoes. I'm staying at the hotel with them the night before and after so can change, take stuff with me! I'm size 16-18, I think, it keeps changing because I lost weight and have gained some too. Top-heavy. I can't show my arms above elbow due to extreme stretch-mark scaring, but some kind of shawl thing could cover that?

I have the day off before, what could I do? Bride has stuff booked so I won't be meeting her till the evening (we're sharing the night before). I'll need something for that evening too! Anyway I'm thinking a manicure? I've never beautified! I need a haircut too. I've booked an appointment tomorrow to sort contact lenses, never worn them so about time I got round to it!

I'm rambling. Here's my list-

Dress
Something to go over
Tights
Shoes (flat or teeny heel)
Bag
Manicure, or something
Contacts
Something for evening before
Makeup advice?

Any help about any of... anything! gratefully received. I have no idea what I'm doing! I did post on this before but.... I gained weight since then (stressed, lost job, actually this wedding is the day after my job ends and I have no new job yet).

First of all - stop stressing out, no one will be looking at you they will be looking at the bride. So relax! :)

Re makeup advice, you can go to a makeup counter and get them to show you but you may or may not come away looking like jodie marsh! If you're not the type to usually wear it then I would say a bit of tinted moisturiser, mascara, and a glossy or tinted lip balm. Don't go overboard.

Dress, hmm, it really depends on your personal taste and how formal the wedding is etc. But generally a nice summery girly dress, do you like 50s style dresses? I went to a wedding last weekend and a lot of the women had 50s type swingy knee length dresses in pretty patterns/colours.

Definitely go for a shrug or cardie rather than a shawl, a shawl will get annoying.

Shoes, whatever you are comfortable in, there are so many pretty flats around you don't need to totter around in heels if it's not your thing.

I would take a LARGE clutch, I have often made the mistake of picking a pretty clutch which is too small to hold anything!

generally I would say don't go overboard, as long as YOU like your dress, and feel comfortable in your makeup hair etc then you will look fab.

Most of all have fun!! Sorry to hear about your job loss, fingers crossed you find a new one soon!

Many thanks for reply. Am trying not to stress about it all but it's so odd that this wedding, that I've been looking forward to since last summer, coincides with the last days of my wonderful job (I'm a nanny so it's emotional leaving).

50's dress sounds good, I'll have a look when I get to town to see what I can see. I'm thinking of going to Westfield next weekend, bit of a trek but I'm hoping there is more choice there. I hope I'm not leaving it too late but I was really hoping I'd have lost more weight by now, I lost 3.5st since December but gained a stone! Damn.

agree that the key thing is that you feel happy in what you are wearing. Stock to shapes and colours that you know flatter you. I would stay away from stiletto heels because most weddings involve a lot of standing around on grass and you'll sink in! I would go for a cardi or jacket rather than a shawl - I always find you are fiddling with them constantly. have you got someone that can go shopping with you? £100 is not a bad budget but you may find a lot of the things you are looking at may be up to £150 and you do need to get everything else too. For the night before I would go with dark jeans and a nice top. Have a lovely time x

Sadly I don't have anyone to shop with- I'd go with the bride-to-be but she is recuperating from a broken ankle!

I hadn't considered jeans for the night before- mainly because I live in them for work and well.... everything else! But I could get some new, non-stained ones.

My budget is very flexible- I'm dipping into my savings to make sure I'm not out of place. I'm quite happy spending a bit more on a frock then getting a cheaper bag from Primarni!

To complicate matters- the wedding has a red theme so anything red would be good, or if I was being really brave a sari! Oh no wait, not that brave!

Where do people buy handbags from? Should I be finding a a dress first then getting a bag to match or is that silly?

The big department stores like debenhans and House of Fraser offer personal shoppers (free) so perhaps you could make an appointment and start there. You might get some ideas if nothing else.

Lots of sales on at the moment so it will probably be a case of working your way round the shops - it can be difficult to search at this time of year but you should get a bargain. If you like Monsoon try Oasis and Mango - I find their styles a bit simpler than Monsoon but more formal.

Does the hotel you're staying in have a spa or anything? You could get nails done there. Definitely book into somewhere like Mac for a makeover - they'll give you the money off any make-up you purchase and a card telling you how to use it all.

I still get excited about friends' weddings now, hitch is definitely un-Mumsnetty! I love getting dressed up and having a nice day with friends/family.

What sort of odd shape are you? I'm not a standard fit but I had a choice of wedding type dresses at Pepperberry... I'd never had a choice of dresses which actually fit before! Good luck x

chocoroo Thanks, never heard of Mango I'll check it out. I've heard of Oasis but never looked in there- I should have said, I've been ENORMOUS all my life (size 32 at my biggest) so this world of 'normal' shopping is all new to me! Hotel sadly has no spa etc. What is Mac? Isn't that a brand? How would I book in there?

Am now googling personal shoppers..... I'm near Richmond so I could go to House of Fraser but I've looked in there and couldn't find anything to fit.

saveme Odd like a beachball or something! I'm 5'2, size 16, 18, 20, depending on the shop. Big chested, huuuge waist, fairly thin (in comparison only!) legs. I have a big back! Wil check out Paperberry, is that a place with a shop or online? I've never ordered clothing online!

I always hire dresses for weddings. Wish want wear has some lovely ones.

ginevra Mac is a make-up brand, they have counters in the big dept stores and often stand alone shops. I think you can pay £50 for them to give you a make-up lesson and then you get that amount off cosmetics you buy. Worth it of you were thinking of buying anyway.

I think Mango go up to an 18 and Oasis to a 16 but Oasis are generally cut well for large norks. I suffer myself! There's Coast too which is always a good stop off for wedding shopping. Pepper berry may work well for you - it's owned by Bravissimo so you can buy different sized dresses/tops depending on bra size. French Connection fit well on my boobs too, I'm usually a 14 but can wear a 12 there.

Just be aware that mac is owned by estee lauder, one of the companies that has returned to animal testing

AKiss Never even considered hiring. I did look at that site but I think I'd be terrified of ruining the dress! When I put my date and size in it only had 3 dresses, all long. I can't wear long dresses, way too short! Oh and I never considered animal testing, I don't know much of the issue.

chocoroo £50 for a lesson! Goodness me. Maybe I'll have to stick to doing it myself, I have a few bits of makeup from £ shops. I'll try all of those shops, I'm thinking Westfield next Saturday is a good idea as it'll have loads of shops and department stores too. It'll be hell but just for one day!

Oh oh and another thing- I've never had leg, or anything, waxed. I've heard of it, but I don't know- is it a good idea? How long does it last? Where do you go and do it? What's an average price to pay for such a thing? How painful? I tend to shave but my stupidly legs grow it all back by the evening.

Hi Ginevra, if you're near Richmond then you're probably also not too far from Kingston, where there's a John Lewis and Bentall's department store. I imagine both would offer a personal shopping service, and Bentall's also has a good make-up section (including a MAC counter). Likely to be slightly less hellishly busy than Westfield!
Whatever you wear, I'm sure you'll look fab and have a great day!

Thanks shortly, I am indeed near Kingston too. I'm planning to go there if I don't get anything! I'd go tomorrow if I hadn't booked this eye thingy.

You could wear red shalwar Lakers or lengha instead of sari, if you were feeling brave? raping, Southall etc will be the best place to shop for this.

Ealing I said Ealing. Auto correct fail

I'd recommend going over to Holloway Road & checking out Vivienne of Holloway HERE you'll find some lovely styles to flatter your shape & plenty in red too - its a friend of ours, but she's been doing the 50s thing for as long as I can remember, so really knows her stuff on fit, cut & quality
good luck & enjoy the wedding

nailak I've never even heard of those garments- perhaps I'm not the best person to be experimenting! If I do go for an Indian-inspired outfit rather than a frock I think I had better get advice from the bride-to-be (the Indian half of the couple) before I made an arse of myself! And I think Southall is where we'd end up, she's actually from there.

rockinhippy thanks for the link- am now seriously considering ditching the appointment and heading there tomorrow, I'm loving the idea of this with this over. If I ever dared! Soooo beautiful, I want some of the day dresses too. I live in jeans and trainers, I need to find a style.

Asian weddings tend to be blingy, think big costume jewelry and sparkly outfits, google Salwar Lakers and lengha to get an idea, also there are Asian magazines like asiana etc which will give you an idea of what Asian wedding parties normally wear. I think you should get eyebrows threaded, and buy some make up and experiment at home, use you tube tutorials, find a look you like and try to copy it, also hair styles as well, Asian weddings don't normally include hats, but do use hair accessories. I know its not strictly an Asian wedding, but I am assuming a lot of the brides side will be Asian .

Also check out Unze shoes, google it.

Not Lakers Kameez

thanks nailak- thing is the wedding itself isn't Asian as such, the bride was born here, groom is American. Her family is from India. She has mentioned guests wearing traditional Indian garb but.... I honestly am not sure if I dare do something so different for me. this is my first ever 'event', apart from 2 funerals I've attended.

Thankfully I won't need to get eyebrows threaded- it's one thing I keep on top of as hormonal issues mean I'm erm... hairy! I did get them done once and it was one of my worst experiences in my life, not due to pain or anything but even with my eyes shut just being laid down looking up at the light had me streaming and took me days to get over. Barely felt the actual threading!

I'm going to have to think a lot about hair too, I need a cut anyway but I always seem to end up looking 'mumsy' whatever I ask for- I want something modern, or different, but end up looking 60. I'm 29! And not a mum!

Oooh I googled Unze shoes, I'm liking these they actually go up to an 8!

Ok am I nuts thinking this is suitable for a wedding?

And I'm loving this too but have no idea what I could wear over it to hide my arms. Or what shoes, I guess black ones wouldn't match.