I'm crap at beauty stuff.

[DonkeyTeapot]

Hello S&B experts, I'm really hoping someone can help me, as I'm really fed up with looking rubbish all the time. Sorry, this is long, but I feel the back ground is relevant to how I'm feeling.

Basically, I was brought up in a very strict, religious home, where anything more than the most basic of personal hygiene and making oneself presentable was viewed as sinful vanity. At the age when most girls would be discussing hair styling, clothes, and make up, I was thoroughly brushing my thick, curly hair (any curly heads can imagine the effect that had), and wasn't allowed to wear any make up at all. Almost all of my clothes were donated by other members of the congragation, they all used to swap clothes once their kids had grown out of them. A good idea to recycle, I know, and kept costs down, but it did mean that I never, ever got to actually choose my own clothes.

Sorry for the lengthy back-story - I'm getting to the point now. I find myself at the age of 34 with no idea how to make my hair look decent, or what clothes work with my shape. I have figured out how to put eye make up on, but I've always been grateful for my clear skin, as I have no clue where to start with foundation, etc. The older I get, the more ridiculous I feel asking friends etc how to do things like put styling products on my hair, and distribute it evenly throughout. I always, always end up with crunchy, straggly curls at the front and sides, and a fuzzy fluffy patch at the back where there is no product - no matter how hard I try! I am interested in trying the curly girl method, but have no idea how I'd distribute a tiny amount of conditioner through so much hair - it's only shoulder length but quite thick.

I normally shave my bikini line, but it's not really comfortable, gets a bit sore and rashy, have been for waxing in the past but thought I'd try home waxing strips. Well, I pulled off the strip, it left all the wax on my skin and didn't pull a single hair out. I got all the pain with none of the result! I went over it three or four times but no luck. Then I had to try and get the damn wax off me! Why am I just so shit at all this stuff? It's embarassing and makes me feel miserable and stupid that I can't even do the most basic things to keep myself looking nice!

I suppose what I'm asking is if anyone can link any decent websites that could show a beauty novice like me how to do things, or give me any tips about - well, anything really. I hate being a scruffy mess, but I think I'd rather look shit because I haven't tried, than try, and still look shit because I've got it horribly wrong.

I have curly hair and with product I apply it with my head upside down as it seems to work better
Eye make up - you could go to a beauty counter and get them to show you? MAC are v good, I am 28, my mum is 63 and we both love them
A v simple day make up that always makes me look better is a nude eyeshadow all over my eyelid and right up to under my eyebrow. A tiny bit of brown eyeliner - easiest is just to follow your lashes on the top lid, think of working it into the roots of your lashes. And a bit of mascara
Have a watch of YouTube make up videos to pick up application tips. Just remember it always washes off!

Well, I am no expert at all - and lots of things I leave to the professional's as they will do a far better job than me. However, as a starting point maybe you need to:

Book a hair appointment - and get advice from the hairdresser about what styling products to use and how to style your hair. I do believe in using a good hairdryer, there are many out there with anti-static properties that will help with the frizz effect. I have shoulder length thick hair, and use about a 20p size of hair product...I warm it up a bit my rubbing my palms together and then run it through my hair, concentrating on the ends and just a little bit on the fridge otherwise it gets greasy.

Waxing/Hair removal - def. leave this one to the experts, I would use a razor for pits and legs, but get to a salon for a bikini wax, far easier.

Make-up - Go to a counter for some inspiration...Bobbi Brown is excellent for a natural everyday look. I'd say invest in a base, you say you have good skin so you probably need very light coverage, such as a tinter moisturiser. A simple routine of applying a base, some bronzer, eyeliner and mascara can be perfected easily...I promise! I used to put eyeliner on and it looked crap, but do it everyday for a week or so and you so get the hang of it. Again, don't be afraid to ask the experts at the counters, that is their job. I use a fab product for lipstick, its a tinted pot of vaseline lip balm, you can get it in Boots - in a pink tin..very easy to apply and gives a sheen and a bit of colour.

The fastest way to look groomed is tidy eyebrows, get them threaded if you can, say every 6 weeks. It will make such a difference to you eye's.

Don't be embarassed, unless you are a trained hairdresser/makeup artist then its perfectly reasonable to not really know what to do!

Oh yes, just remembered, look at Lisa Eldrige's tutorials on You Tube for make up advice - she is excellent.

midnights advice is good, until you find your way professional advice is he best. Sign up to some of he style blogs for advice. If you have clear skin I would not bother with foundation!

Thanks for your replies :)

I never dare use a hair drier - so far it has always resulted in the biggest, fluffiest, stupidest hair you can imagine. The thought terrifies me. I'd need to be shown how to do that too!

My eye make up is the one thing I am pretty confident with tbh, but it might be good to go and see some of the consultants in Boots. We only have a small branch here, the last time I saw the girl on the Benefit stand I was absolitely stunned, she looked shocking. It was TROWELLED on, seriously, no way I'd take make up advice from her. Maybe I'll go back and see if there's someone different there now. Don't think there are any MAC places here.

I had a hair apointment a couple of years ago at a really expensive fancy salon, they sold me Tigi curlesque stuff which is really good, but I think it's my application that spoils things. I kind of asked them to show me how to apply it, but they sort of looked at me like "who wouldn't know that?" and I didn't really want to admit to what a pleb I am in these matters.

Tinted moisturiser sounds like something I could use, will it be called that in the shop? Never even been near bronzer, I have quite pale skin so always been afraid of getting it wrong and just looking grubby. Will check those out, thank you :) I've seen the pink vaseline too, I'll get some, nice and cheap!

My eyebrows are pretty fine actually, they require minimal plucking, but maybe I'll go and pamper myself and get them seen to.

Thanks again, I feel better already :) Any more tips? What razor do you use?

Can you get a day to yourself in a bigger town? Ideally if you can get to a House of Fraser or a Debenhams, you will get a wider choice of cosmetics. Agree that the Benefit girls are terrifying, its a very particular look. Failing that, what about Boots no7...that's a bit more 'normal'. Another good high street brand is Revlon, but they won't have anyone on a counter.

Tinted moisturiser is called that. here is the no7 one. However, I have heard very good things about: this, www.houseoffraser.co.uk/Bobbi+Brown+Tinted+Moisturiser+SPF+15/153068993,default,pd.html and this]].

The hairdressers sound arsey! Can you go somewhere else? Pop in to ask for prices to get a feel for the place first. Try and go for the most senior person you can afford - they will have lots of experience in helping people. Seriously, any good hairdresser will be happy to help you and show you what to do. Get them to advise about the hair drying too.

I use a Gillet Venus razor, and just replace the blades as needed.

Oh, another tip. Not sure if you have young DC's but I use DS's bath time to do some grooming. He plays in the bath, whilst I paint my toenails, file nails and tidy eyebrows.

Thanks Midnight. I live on the Isle of Man, so a trip to a bigger town is a costly affair and involves a ferry or a flight! Not out of the question, but would take some planning.

No 7 might be a good bet. I need to go into Boots and actually LOOK, instead of becoming immediately overwhelmed and running away!

I have a 10mo DD, she always wants to be stood up at the moment (not walking yet but trying), so I have to keep a sharp eye on her in the bath, she tries to pull herself up on the taps etc. Maybe as she gets a bit bigger I could use that time for prettying.

Right - yes that would be a bit a a trek!

One thing you could do is order from QVC, they do both Bobbi and Brown and Liz Earle, who have just started a make-up range. They do allow returns on products, so you could do an order and then see them in real life and decide what to keep.

I used to live on the IOM and have some lovely friends there. I can get some recommendations of the right people to go to to help you if you'd like.

Would never have thought of QVC, thought it was all silly kitchen gadgets that no one really uses! (My mum bought me a meat defrosting tray from there. It's....um... a tray with grooves in. Supposed to help meat defrost super fast. It doesn't.)

Charliefox That would be great, thank you.

The hair styling is probably the thing that gets me down the most, my hair just looks terrible, I alternate between growing it long enough to tie back because it's easier, and then hating the how it looks tied back. Because it's curly there's always bits sticking out all over the place, unless I plaster some mousse on and tie it back really tight - not flattering. I had it really short for years for that very reason, but I'd like to wear it in a more feminine style. Just don't know how to achieve it.