Face or arse???

[HappyGirlNow]

Ok, I'm 39 and for a while there i was thinking I was starting to look a bit old and rough in the facial area.. You know, constantly catching sight of your crepey skin and eye bags in mirrors and photos... Depressing..

But for the last few weeks I've been feeling so much better, looking much fresher faced, feeling more attractive facially.. And it's dawned on me why that is - I've put weight back on...

So.. What the hell do you do? I can stick at the weight I am and be happy with my face and very unhappy with my arse, cellulite, jelly belly or lose the 9lbs I want to, be happy with my figure (esp going into the summer, holidays etc) and feel like Old Mother Time facially...

It's just not fair! Anyone else with the same issue?

Actually, that might be entirely wrong, but all in all I don't tend to look any younger whether fatter or thinner really. More so when I am kinder to myself and confident. It's like I glow at these times, even if I've had no bloody sleep. And then sometimes, I can get 8 hours and feel like absolute crap.
Perhaps there are no firm guidelines to this.

I recall reading on a much older MN thread about self confidence that people mistakenly connect youth with beauty as if they cannot exist independently of one another, yet they are not always so closely connected. Not should they be. Youth does not ensure actual beauty, nor does aging utterly demolish our potential.
There are people whose pocket linings jingle merrily due to our belief in this, though.

poopoo well that's how it is with me.

Any weight I put on goes straight to my tummy and waist- not my face- so if I lose that weight my face looks no difference.

It's what someone else has said- you lose it where you put it on first. If your face gets fatter when you put it on then yes it will look thinner, but don't forget that all faces look thinner as you age- cheeks lose fat as part of the ageing process. That's why some people have fillers- regardless of weight gain/loss.

I feel your pain - I've lost half a stone recently (unintentionally - I've turned into one of those people who I thought didn't exist and started forgetting to eat), and I look five years older (I also have brackets round my mouth, which is really damn depressing: I look miserable as well as old!) Nothing to be done about it though - I think on the whole I prefer being thin and middle-aged looking, because at least I can improve on the face with slap if I make the effort.

How about keeping the extra 9lb on but making a real effort to tone up?

teacakes I agree with the ruinous beauty myths theory. Yeah yeah, so water is good for you, keeps you feeling full, plumps up cells, etc... or is it just a cunning plan to chain womankind to within 100 yards of a public loo for the entire day?

Ditto the Cabbage Soup Diet. Invented by an independent dietician - or the British Cabbage Board?

Any extra weight on me goes straight to my thighs. They look very youthful indeed. Like a giant-sized toddler.

Wildfig, I think it's because there is always a kernel of truth to the myths: of course water and sleep are good for us, fresh food, exercise, etc. I just don't think, at least not according to current laws of physics, they can turn back the clock. Perhaps they can assist us in maintaining 'the glow', but let's face it....'the glow' has been thrust upon us from god knows where and I am not even sure if it exists. A concept to keep us sadly lacking/wanting.

Having said all of this, I don't have any issue with some types of cosmetic surgery (botox/fillers), nor enjoying the use of cosmetics to enhance what we already have. But I really do doubt that anything can truly give back youth. If only our energy could be spent on more life affirming, actual body positive pursuits. Still, it is something of a shock when you see your face beginning to change - I think you go through this sort of horrified, stupefied paralysis - and plenty people are cashing in on it every damn millisecond.

And what's with these deep wrinkle fillers? I've had frown lines since I was about 20 and my Keihls product did nothing. Perhaps it's just as well, because I don't think I'd look like 'me' anymore without them. The skin on my face isn't so taught, sort of slacker somehow, and it pisses me off, but after going through 2 yrs of hideous self esteem issues I am determined to focus on something I do like, for a goddamn change, you know?

HappyHorse, I am not a gym bunny, but even if I was I suspect all the toning in the world won't help if it's under a substantial layer of squidgy fat

I'm damned if I do, and damned if I don't lol

Is there no compromise? How about losing 5-6 lbs then seeing if you face is looking droopy? Or go for the weight loss and have some fillers in your cheeks? :)

Lol amelia I'll do the droop test Trouble is I need to lose the 9lb to fit in the dress size all my clothes are...

Seriously thinking about the laser lipo lol!!

I've had this dilemma, agonised over it and decided sod the body, the face is the thing. Half a stone more makes me look younger and nicer and less wizened.

I find that the first place weight "goes" for me, is my face/neck/décolleté/and boobs so, that leaves me with an (now over emphasised by the weight loss) oversized arse/hips/thigh area.

Can't win!

I'm 49. Some days I look alright....some days I look shite. Doesn't matter, what weight I am.

You may laugh piratecat. I wept.

i like your sense of humour