Should DP cut his hair off to get a job?/Related to orange thread

[LaFataTurchina]

The 'orange person' thread has got me thinking...

Basically, my lovely DP is busy job hunting at the moment for the last two years. He gets lots of interviews but no luck so far. We're starting to think part of the problem might be his ponytail.

Now obviously, the solution would be to get a short back and sides or other sensible man-cut. However, DP has alopecia and the only reason his hair is so long is so that it can be brushed to almost hide the bald bits.

In essence, it's a choice of shave it all off or neat ponytail. What do you guys reckon looks more professional?

I think a number 1 may be the way to go - it will look smart, easy to care for and then there should be anything in his way regarding jobs.

Regardless of the job situation, get him to cut it off asap. Ponytails on men are grim. Weedy thin ones are the worst (and as you mention alopecia I am guessing it is not thick and lucious). Yuk yuk yuk.

Huge sympathies over the alopecia, I have outbreaks of it and it is very demoralising.

I always have short hair (in woman's terms) but of a short enough length that a man could get away with even in finance / customer services - it falls straight down from my crown like a mop but I can swoop it in differnent directions. The hair just needs to be a bit longer than the patch is long, to cover it.

If this really won't work because his patches are big and numerous, I think almost-shaved heads look great. All DP's balding mates have gone that route, anyway. But getting expert advice form a good hairdresser is a good idea. He could try that before shaving off the full length of his hair.

Alopaecia is an auto-immune condition, unrelated to stress - I felt so relieved when a consultant said that to me - when everyone was telling me it was stres related i felt guilty or a failure as I thought I ought to be able to control it and it was my fault I couldn't.

Steroid gel worked - when a patch started steroid gel would stop it getting bigger, and make it grow back sooner. I think you can't use it all the time though as it thins your skin.

I've had alopecia too, although I am almost certain mine was stress related, too much of a coincidence not to be in my case (my consultant said he thought it was stress related but that it can't be proven). I kept mine about shoulder length, but made sure all the layers were long enough to cover the patches. I used steroid gel and it all started growing back within 6 months.

I have very dark hair too, and something that helped me a lot was a masking cream Couvre. As one of the reviews says, you can't use it on bare patches if you have short hair, but if you keep the hair long enough to cover the patches and put it on the scalp it stops it showing if the wind blows your hair to one side for example. The lower third or so of my scalp was almost completely bare, I was terrified of going out in the wind till I tried this, it helped my confidence tremendously.

Anyone remember the ponytail episode in Only Fools and Horses?

I'd vote for shaving it. In this climate you need every little step up you can get to get a job.

Or could it be long layers, reaching nape of the neck - sort of Steve Cooganish - but without the ponytail? I think long-ish hair is more acceptable than the actual ponytail which, after all, even Francis Rossi cut off as it was doing his image no good.

I love long hair on men (if well cared for, no balding etc), but agree it may be something that in a competitive enviroment is holding him back. My balding friends have all gone for a very short cut all over, and it looks great and is commercially acceptable

Without the alopecia I would agree on shaving, but the minute it starts growing back the patches will be obvious, even with dark skin, I would guess it's going to need to be done every day. I don't know how often shaved head men generally do theirs but that's quite a commitment.

The vast majority of balding men don't shave, its far too high maintenance, they do a close trim - and those with male pattern baldness often have lots of patches which can be seen, but look fine. MostBald friend clips his once a week

Its quiet sad how many people here are so revolted by someone elses hair. I mean really, I just dont get it?
Would we be so disgusted by a womans appearance and insist on tedoius grooming, just because we thought they looked creepy or out dated? Weird.
Im with Chandon...what difference does it make to how well he can do his job? And if a perspective employer is so short sighted to think a hair do will affect an emplyees ability, well, Id have trouble reconcilling working for them.
I understand times are tough and being turned down for job after job must be frustrating, but who`s really to say its the ponytail that is holding him back?

I'm not a fan of pony tails, however, provided someone looks washed and well groomed I can not see how this would be a problem.

We use a scoring system at work and couldn't get away with not offering the job to the best candidate based on his/her appearance unless they were actually unkempt.

I agree with you laminator, but in the real world we sometimes have to conform to get on, whether we like it or not.

Dh is almost bald so shaves his head to a number one all over. He has never had a problem with jobs. I think ponytails on men are very scruffy

I don't get how ponytails on men are any more scruffy/vile/yuck than ponytails on women. Of the guys I know, the ones with the best hair all keep their hair long (past shoulder blade length) while the scruffy ones are guys with 'normal' length hair that think short means they don't have to bother caring for it.

However, OP, the patches issue may be causing a lot of nervousness and anxiety that could come across in interviews. A visit to a sensitive hairdresser to discuss all the options and find something that will boost his confidence would probably help.

Has he seen the doctor about it. That would be my first call I wouldn't be tossing around with homeopathy and yoga.
I do like men with long, well kempt hair. If it is stringy and worse stringy and greasy he will struggle. I have no doubt about that.
My DH has fine/thin hair. His mum always told him to have a neat short back and sides with a parting. He looked a proper numpty.
I advised him to have a number four - radical at the time, now he has a number one which he does himself every couple of weeks.
He has a receding hairline and is fair of hair and skin.

Hello,

Just thought I'd give an update. DP just got offered a job he really really wanted! - he's on a waiting list and could start either before the Olympics or next year sometime.

In hair related news, he's probably going to shave it all off just before we go on holiday.

Thats brilliant news you must be so happy! well done him.

Well done to him! Thanks for the update.

Congrats OP.

DH had a waist length ponytail when he started looking for jobs in the City. It was many years ago and he looked lush . He got knocked back many many times before he went out and bought a respectable, flattering suit, at which point he was offered a job, on condition that the hair had to go. He later found out that his hair had been the subject of ed mutterings in the kitchen - some twenty years later some members of staff still remember "The day a man turned up to interview with long hair".