Marks and Spencers Bargainous Tights...

[LumpyLatimer]

....just don't, all right? Just - just don't.

I am suffering so you don't have to

Firstly they seem to be woven from actual barbed wire. I swear they are cheese-grating the skin off my knees. I feel like that bonkers blonde monk in The Da Vinci Code. Hair shirt?! Fuck off mate!

Secondly they are the fucking loudest tights imaginable. I can't walk across the office floor because the sound of my thighs rubbing together is deafening. It sounds like a distant thunderstorm, with the wind soughing in the branches of mighty oaks etc. etc.. HUMILIATING.

And finally, I seem to be generating so much static electricity I am giving myself an electric shock every time I take a step. Lord knows what's going to happen if I have to touch someone else/a metal doorknob.

Sorry but

Just don't go touching any knobs (((;snigger))))))

Link?

You know what's worrying me most? What if I touch some creepy auld colleague adn they get A Shock like in the films and that, and they think there is a Compulsive Sessual Attraction, and I get Propositioned? Hm? HMMM?

Hang on while I find a link. Although I do wonder if I should be touching electronic equipment.

It might be these. Although really I would need to see their shamefully budget packaging

I am going to read the reviews and see if anyone else mentions that they generate enough power to make all the government's proposed wind farms redundant

Hello Lumpy :o

Maybe its part of their Plan A lumpy?

Yo Pinot! Another skirmish in my losing battle to be Style Maven. (What is a maven? I always think of a raven in a sort of fetching hat but that cannot be right).

Eggy could well be! Talk about a sustainable energy source!

You do make me larf :o Please post all the time, on every board just so I can follow you :o :o

Well I would obviously, but unfortunately I have a life of such hectic fabulousness that I simply rarely have the time

That is how we differ

:o

Anyway, how are you? All dandy?

Yur I'm all right thanks! I still have a henna head (were you on that thread)?

If one more person says I look like Florence I'll fucking lump them (although I suspect she would, too).

Am trying to conquer cyberspace by twitter this time, but apparently my instagram photos of what I had for my tea don't cut it

What's new Pinot-wise?